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I think my boss dislikes me, any advice???
evolve
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I have a fairly new job and I think my boss thinks I'm a bad worker because I smile a lot and have a random positivity about me and I think he likes major seriousness at work. anyway, without talking to me about it he just randomly separated me from everyone in the office into a corner. hahahah it's like I'm in time out! ahhh but I'm taking it so hard cause I'm misunderstood and I like being friends with my coworkers but he seems to be the type to have strictly business and such. Okay and I HARDLY even talk to others but when we do talk we laugh and I think since I'm the newest he thinks I'm stirring up trouble??? I LOVE the work and I'm very dedicated but I also like human connection! I was hoping to advance with this job and get to travel etc... and not even be in the office, but I'm afraid I've blown it cause I'm not serious acting enough! I'll just be in this corner all my life! LOL ahh and he's very emotional detached...very quiet I feel like if I tried to explain to him how much i care about the job then he'd take it like I was being emotional and use that against me. If only he knew how much I cared! anyway, any advice???
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But I'd say just stay in your body and do the work and don't get too much in the head making up too many scenarios. That being said it's possible that there is a problem like you are intuiting. If so then still just do your work and 'what will be will be' K sera sera sera..
If you just get on with things and remain your natural self, people will soon accept you for who you are and if your work is fine then your boss has nothing to be angry or disappointed about, well with regards to you anyway.
and I don't know Nevermind... I think that's the type of things which makes him not like me! isn't that weird??? He doesn't like anything that's not business. doing a nice thing like making cookies that would just make him uneasy with me! but if someone gave me cookies I'd be so happy. hehehe
People generally rationalize doing favors for others subconsciously by changing their beliefs about them. Basically on a subconscious level it's like, 'I must like them because I did them a favor for no good reason'.
Wow, you sound like someone who would be fun to work with. You sound like someone who would naturally help keep morale up around the office. Sometimes these things are a matter of fitting in to the office "culture". So if he's set up a quiet, serious ambience, then take your cue from his leadership. You can fulfill your need for connection by inviting co-workers to lunch, and letting off steam at lunch.
and thanks Dakini... that's what I generally do, when we go out I'm able to REALLY let myself loose hahaha. so in the office I'll just balance it out..in time he'll see my true colors.
so, coffee & cookies?? ...I wish I was a boss, I could be strict and get coffee & cookies all day :cool: hehehe
Just work.
If you think the problem might be that you crave attention and enjoy being misunderstood, then perhaps this job isn't for you.
you are probably just a different flavor of awesome than what they are used to..
i have found visualization to be very helpful -- imagining people i know in perfect equipoise and peaceful contentment -- hearts and minds of glowing sunshine.
a smile is more powerful than 10,000 arguments
There's a recipe for a pink slip.
the boss and the situation is not at odds . . .
Ultimately, do your job. Period.
It's great that everyone at work gets along with one another, but ultimately, work IS NOT a social club. They don't have to like you.
Out of roughly 52 middle and high school principals in my district, I was -- perhaps -- the nicest. So nice that when our school's union rep once called the union about me, the union actually responded to the teacher by saying, "If you can't get along with Vince Lynch, then what principal could you possibly get along with?"
But I have kept up with things in my old school since I retired, and I can see that there were ways in which I wasn't "boss" enough. For example, the couple of teachers who made the lives of other teachers miserable because they had an attitude. I should have been the boss, rather than the nice guy, and solved those issues. It was kinda funny how several teachers who didn't really like me, later contacted me and told me what a good "boss" I was. Translation, I was nicer than my successor.
Your boss may or may not be a good boss. There are plenty of lousy bosses (and lousy principals) out there. But it helpful to try to understand what he was hired to do, and perhaps even how he was instructed to accomplish those tasks.
Plus of its any consollation i fell asleep during my probation period and it took me a while to live up to her expectations but we are now on good terms and i know that the way she acts is just the way she is.
I wouldnt fret over it. Keep up all the positivity.
Peace out
And just because you're not friends with the boss doesn't mean it's dog-eat-dog. What's wrong with a positive professional relationship?
Let me give an example. Say we go into some kind of business together. This situation would be a partnership, where expenses and income were transparent, and profits/losses shared fairly. So far so good. Now say we wanted to expand the business and that expansion required more work than we could do ourselves. Normally at this point we'd hire employees, rather than take on additional partners. Why employees instead of new partners?
So, when you go job hunting do you turn down any job where you won't be an actual partner?
Dog eat dog as in ruthlessly competitive, rather than ruthlessly cooperative.