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Weird Meditation Experience
Seph
Veteran
I tend to practice mindfulness mediation in the early morning before I go to work. I usually 'do' between 15-20 minutes. I sit on my seiza bench, mind my lunch bag/baby belly breathing, and let my mind (hopefully) settle.
In the beginning my mind tends to spin and go on a romp! If I'm lucky somewhere around the half-way point of my meditation, it settles down.
Last Tuesday something different happened.
I was on the right-hand side of my 'regular-self'. And I could 'see' his/my thoughts and daily worries, and anxieties. (I mean what is current and worrisome now), but I experienced them like a memory, as I would remember some minor worry as a child; detached.
I also felt this state (?) I was in (or was) extended and existed throughout my entire life. It was always there, but never perceivable. (It would have been difficult to tell when 'now' was should I have thought of it). It was bizarre 'remembering' Now.
It is extremely difficult to describe and I fear I will ultimately fail... because at the time I was experiencing it, I cannot say I was aware. I only became aware of the state on reflection, as a memory – much later. (Even that's not right).
It didn't last long.
The experience doesn't frighten me. It's memory was quite peaceful actually. I'm just not sure what to think of it.
In the beginning my mind tends to spin and go on a romp! If I'm lucky somewhere around the half-way point of my meditation, it settles down.
Last Tuesday something different happened.
I was on the right-hand side of my 'regular-self'. And I could 'see' his/my thoughts and daily worries, and anxieties. (I mean what is current and worrisome now), but I experienced them like a memory, as I would remember some minor worry as a child; detached.
I also felt this state (?) I was in (or was) extended and existed throughout my entire life. It was always there, but never perceivable. (It would have been difficult to tell when 'now' was should I have thought of it). It was bizarre 'remembering' Now.
It is extremely difficult to describe and I fear I will ultimately fail... because at the time I was experiencing it, I cannot say I was aware. I only became aware of the state on reflection, as a memory – much later. (Even that's not right).
It didn't last long.
The experience doesn't frighten me. It's memory was quite peaceful actually. I'm just not sure what to think of it.
1
Comments
It was almost like a detachment, from my normal self... yet not a detachment.
???
I can't say with any accuracy what it was you experienced. I have had states in meditation that were extremely blissful, frightening, a feeling of falling, disassociation/detachment with my body, states of keen insight and what I felt as hyper- aware, very clear thinking states. I have also had meditation sessions that were downright mundane and at times the session felt fruitless, usually due to my monkey mind. With the blissful or mind states that make one go wow, I had a tendency to want to recapture that feeling or state of conciousness. That is a fruitless endeavor/attachment IMO. Now I try to let my meditation unfold, how its going to unfold. If I like a specific meditation session, that's okay but I let it be the thing that it is, a temporary arising.
It will come again, after all where is the always present gonna go . . .
Just be gentle with the time it arrives and the time it goes. :clap:
You are describing it in terms of paradox, always a good sign . . .
Perhaps it is like this:
A tune that can not be sung
But is always within
Hearing
A stance that is not any different
To under standing
A tilt of a straight head
A movement away to the towards
Stillness
:thumbsup:
What brings them to the fore is our practise of being an open heart/mind, unlimited by our usual habitual fiddling impulses.
There is no need to think about it anymore than there is to think about anything else that comes up.
Allowing it, it's own birth, life and passing is not about thinking or working anything out.
It's all about letting go.
Do you normally have someone inside your head that vets your experiences and tells you what to think about it?
Rather, how do you feel about it?
It's encouraging when interesting things happen in meditation, it gives the sense that meditation is actually doing something deep, instead of just chilling us out.
Good work, you must have put in a lot of meditation time to get to that point?
A big challenge for you now, will be to get over the disappointment when it doesn't happen again, or at least not for some time.
The challenge of letting go of that craving for nice and interesting meditative states... that's a hard craving to let go of. That desire can be a useful motivator though.
Practise, practise! This and wilder, freer states await you.
(I've had full Technicolor, HD visions before).