Letting go in meditation...

Tosh

I've been pretty disciplined with my meditation for the past couple of months; I meditate at least once-per-day, but usually twice; and I've been following the instructions from what seems to be a fairly comprehensive guide.

But I think I'm suffering with one of the five hindrances (ill will maybe?); I seem to be able to get into a good calm meditative state and can watch the breath without too many distractions; takes about 20 minutes; but last night I had a sense that I can't go deeper into meditation because I'm unwilling to let go. I'm not even sure what it is I'm letting go of? The sense of self? Maybe I'm frightened to let go? I dunno.

I think I'm a normal kind of guy, so I'm guessing this is a normal experience.

Anyone relate? Experience?

Jeffrey

It could just be a neurotic thought. You know a thought that your meditation should be different from what it is. Even if you do have to let go I am not sure what you should do. Would it help to try harder? No I would think that would just make you tense up even more, wouldn't it?

I would accept to myself that my meditation is what it is. And then with the breath appreciate how you do feel.

chela

I think @Jeffrey has a good point. When I first started meditation (way back about 8 weeks ago, LOL), I had a hard time calming down and letting frustrations go (specifically things like a disagreement that happened an hour before and things of that nature). So, I started saying to myself "Let go" on the in/out breaths, and that seemed to speed up the process of getting settled into my practice. I didn't say "let go" the entire time, just for the first 5 minutes or so. I've had to do that just a few times since the beginning, and still find it helpful. Don't know if it would help or hinder you at this point, but just wanted to share.

Invincible_summer

What do you mean by "go deeper?" Perhaps the intent of "going deeper" is the problem?

But if it helps any, when I have a hard time focusing, I take deep inhalations and long, slow, exhalations and sort-of-not-really visualize my "control" flowing out with the breath.

lobster

What is going deeper? Let go of what? :wave:

taiyaki

Insight is what brings letting.

One can actively engage in insight practices.

For instance in a sitting one can actively bring in the forefront of meditation impermanence. The insight isn't something pursued but rather becomes a lens for how we see phenomena. We know it works because it allows letting go, relinguishing and this ironically brings peace and calm.

It helps to have a stable basis of concentration and calm, but it works backwards too. We can have a chaotic mess and use insight meditation to actively look for impermanence thus bringing calm.

Forcefully letting go can become aversion so its difficult. But always it is insight which brings letting go. Hope this helps.

Tosh

lobster said:

What is going deeper? Let go of what? :wave:

Control I think. Or 'me'.

Thanks guys, I know my question was vague. I read and reflected through all of your posts last night and then meditated, but it was a restless kind of meditation mostly.

I think I'll just keep sitting and watching for now and hopefully come back with some better questions.

Much appreciated.

Tosh

Awakening

I would try practicing anapanasati. In it, you learn to examine something in particular (say, the bodily or mental interactions) and identify them before you try to "let go". You can't let go of something unless you know the nature of what you're letting go of.

lobster

Thanks guys, I know my question was vague

a global movement of people helping others to see through the illusion of self, that there is no separate entity behind the word ‘me’.
http://www.liberationunleashed.com/

Try the above service to focus your question :wave:

SeaOfTranquility

Letting go is the practice of acceptance. Although it may sound somewhat paradoxical.

We normally (habitually) try to chase after the good and run away from the bad. This judgmental reaction, this desire to always feel good and never feel bad results in suffering. Thing is that the good does not last, but then the bad does not last either.

Patient, open, calm, non-judgmental awareness of wherever arises right now. Seeing the impermanent, unsatisfactory, and not me characteristics leads to acceptance and letting go.

Perhaps you are approaching an insight. Keep practicing.

Best Wishes

chela

Along the lines of the above post, I was also wondering if maybe you aren't just encountering a hidden goal that you have for your meditation. As in, maybe you just need to accept what your meditation has been/is instead of saying that it wasn't/isn't what you want(ed) it to be. It might be best to just observe this "sense" that you speak of until it eventually passes and transforms into something else, as it undoubtedly will.

upekka

what ever you 'want'

let go of 'that want'

not only during the meditation
but also
during the other time

be mindful
and
see
whether there is 'want'
then
Let 'that want' go

BeeHurst

Awakening said:

I would try practicing anapanasati.

Tosh said:

last night I had a sense that I can't go deeper into meditation because I'm unwilling to let go. I'm not even sure what it is I'm letting go of? The sense of self? Maybe I'm frightened to let go? I dunno.

You is sense you is holding on to something. To practise let go is let go of technique, let go of "instructions", let go of "trying", let go of "practicing", letting go of "anapanasati". Letting go is the sitting quiet without the craving tanha becoming. Not try to becoming awakening. Mind have its nature like mirror. Mirror not need the craving or intention or wanting to reflect image of object. Anapanasati not need the trying. Anapanasati need the let go.

ZendoLord84

It'll pass.
Thoughts and experiences come and go.