Metta practice difficulty & questions

Invincible_summer

I've been trying to do some metta meditation at the end of some of my sits, but I've been having problems that I'm hoping some of you can help me out with.

The main issue is that my mind jumps between objects of metta meditation. For example, when I am trying to cultivate metta for people close to me, I will focus on a close friend for a period, but then abruptly a family member may pop into my head, and so on. I am normally quite focused during the vipassana meditation before the metta, so I'm not sure why my mind is jumping all over the place.

How do I prevent this? I suppose a related question is - how long does one stay on a single object during metta meditation (i.e. how long do you focus on cultivating metta for yourself, how long for those close to you, etc)?

Also, when something interrupts my focus during metta, am I supposed to note it, or just sort of ignore it and keep on doing the metta meditation? For example, if I suddenly feel my foot fall asleep, should I note that until the sensation falls away, then return to metta? Or do I just try to push through it?


Thanks in advance!

Jeffrey

My sangha mates once told me to not worry if I am doing it right. Just keep the original intention you had to do the practice. Cultivate bodhicitta beforehand if you practice mahayana or cultivate refuge.

I am pretty sure that there are only hints rather than 'right' and 'wrong'. I would think you could use the breath in metta meditation to anchor you away from distracting fantasies or worries. But I think if you have a heartfelt shift between people in various groups that you should take that as just the 'organic' outgrowth of your heart rather than any bleached processed expression. I could be wrong in which case my simile is a miss-characterization.

Invincible_summer

@Jeffrey - I used to think the same way as you described, until I read somewhere that it's possible to not cultivate "strong enough" metta if one keeps jumping around.

But I'm not sure if that's just an orthodox opinion.

The thing is, the shifts in object of metta are so abrupt and sometimes rapid that I don't know if it's an "organic outgrowth of [my] heart." It's very akin to "monkey mind" that I experienced at the very beginning of my meditation journey.

Glow

When this happened to me (my mind would seemingly come up with a never ending succession of people I felt I needed to extend metta towards), it was because I wasn't embodying loving presence off the meditation cushion. Through my life, I had internalized quite a lot of harshness and self-loathing. For this reason, my heart remained quite guarded and I held back from people in my life. The brahmavihara practices, probably more directly than any other type of cultivation practice, are about what we do off the cushion more than what we do on. I like to think of metta as an unburdening of the barriers of the heart that prevent us from truly and wholeheartedly connecting with the people of our lives. It's not something you can necessarily "strengthen." It's either there or it isn't. The cultivation aspect is about widening the circles of beings towards whom we can experience goodwill. It's a practice of relinquishing unwholesome qualities of heart rather than something you have to intensify or get more of or manufacture.

So, when the mind is restless, perhaps examine why it is so eager to churn up different objects for the practice. In my case, it was the hope that I could deepen connection with people whom I'd held back from in meditation rather than through my words and actions in daily interaction. For you it may be something different. Whatever it is, extend metta towards your mind: thank it for going into overdrive.

lobster

It is not surprising the mind jumps, it has that quality :rolleyes:

You might consider allocating a number of breaths to each object of metta.

pegembara

The main issue is that my mind jumps between objects of metta meditation. For example, when I am trying to cultivate metta for people close to me, I will focus on a close friend for a period, but then abruptly a family member may pop into my head, and so on. I am normally quite focused during the vipassana meditation before the metta, so I'm not sure why my mind is jumping all over the place.

How do I prevent this? I suppose a related question is - how long does one stay on a single object during metta meditation (i.e. how long do you focus on cultivating metta for yourself, how long for those close to you, etc)?

In vipassana, the idea is to watch the mind. If it is focused, let it be and if not watch it jump about. During your "metta meditation" you noted that the mind does its own thing (things pop up). That is actually vipassana.

You can't prevent it. Only when the conditions are right can the mind stay focused on an object. That is samatha. You can only try to practise concentration on an object eg. breath, mantra etc. and practice makes perfect.

Invincible_summer

@pegembara - See, this is where I get confused and always second-guess my understanding of vipassana. I thought that vipassana could be practiced as samatha-vipassana together?

If my intent is to do metta bhavana, but I notice my mind jumping, how is that no longer metta but rather vipassana? If I'm trying to do metta practice, regardless of what comes up, isn't it still metta practice?

Are you saying that I was not actually truly focused enough to do metta bhavana? And that I should do pure samatha (focusing only on the breath) in order to build concentration before metta bhavana?

pegembara

The purpose of metta is to remove anger and aversion substituting them with goodwill towards all beings - success is measured by its effect on the mind. Like any endeavour, any distraction is going to affect the outcome but yes, it is still metta bhavana/training.

The main issue is that my mind jumps between objects of metta meditation. I suppose a related question is - how long does one stay on a single object

There, you have answered you own question.