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A method I found that works for healing old wounds and disovling attachments.
Ok, I have found out something through direct knowledge of my practice.
I don't think that sitting on a cushion alone will help to destroy attachments.
I have devised a method that works for me and is very sound.
I have found that a lot of people build walls around themselves in layers and layers and layers and layers. I think the reason for the layers is because people don't have the proper guidance and knowledge on how to deal with the problems they are having, so as a reaction to a situation over time, people build these layers around themselves and create strong bonds of attachment.
I have found that you must first calm the mind and be able to cure the first problem. The first problem is being able to sit without trying to run away from your problems, because you take them everywhere. As in learning to slowly sit and be calm and ok with you. relax your body to let go of extra stress.
Then after you are ok with sitting alone with you company then comes introspection.
You have to look inside and see if you are even ready or want to cure your problems.
If you are ready to cure your issues and have come to terms with and wanting to cure yourself, then the work begins.
You have to first look inside and find what the problems you have are. When you have identified your first unresolved issues, you then focus on those issues and see where it leads to. to see what the basis of all your problems are, your main issue must be identified you don't have to do it in a linear order. You have to find out why you feel the way you do.
It takes time, 5 years in fact sometimes to deal with deep rooted issues, but there is no time limit. I could take less time. But it depends on the amount of work and disciple you have. You don't need to do it alone.
When you figure out what to main root of one problem is then after you identify it you can begin to work on it. There may be many main roots, and many main problems. So many that it chokes out the good roots and no water can penetrate and help you grow.
When you find out what the problem is like anger, the main root is a fear of something. Then you look at it more and figure out why you feel afraid. You also must fight the urge to change the subject, like a mother holding a child that can't cope with the problem they are upset about. Then forgive yourself, if you feel like guilty, keep planting the seed of self-forgiveness at the base root of your problem slowly over time until you have forgiven yourself, and don't act on reactionary impulses, examine them and see them for what they are without judging them and forgive yourself.
If it is embarrassment, then you must be able to let go of the embarrassment, know that most likely no one even remembers what you did and the reason that you are avoiding those people is because you are projecting your fear of ridicule on to them to yourself. Forgive yourself for it. I have learnt that sometimes the only way to fix embarrassment to go to the place that you embarrassed yourself at much later and see that no one is ridiculing you as much as you think. You must be able to see it as it is without reacting to your fear once you get there.
Sometimes our problems are worst in our own minds then they really are.
Even if someone is trying to purposely giving you a hard time, it’s not always your fault that they are acting that way if you are kind in the situation. Sometimes you just need to get away from it or them or whomever. Some people are really insecure and when you are healing yourself or have come to a point, you sometimes act like a mirror to their self by accident and people don't like that. They jump like you touched and exposed nerve. Most likely they don't realize it and are reacting out of fear instead of recognizing through it.
When you reacted to an issue like an exposed nerve, that is where part or all of your problem stems from. That is your best place to open up like a dirty wound and scrub vigorously out the infected and scared tissue.
After words like a real wound, you bandage the wound and nurse it, keeping it from becoming infected again. Then after you take gentle and proper care of the wound, the wound will heal up properly and you will be better able to help others with their wounds once you have healed yours. Because those healed wound give us experience like when a child burns his or her hand and discovers what "HOT" is.
Like I said before this can take a long time. But it is worth it.
I don't know yet how to deal with things that are happening in the moment yet, just about how to help heal in this way after the problem happened.
I recommend that you have all the tools you need first before doing any of this. Like a psychologist that you can go to, or a person who you can go to for deep intense support that knows how you act and react and knows how to calm you down. You will feel the feeling deeply and you may react violently to them. If you feel like there is something wrong then stop.
This may take a few days to a week or more to get over one issue, then I would give yourself a period of a few weeks to grieve and feel happy and normal again until you attempt to dig further in.
Take it or leave it, this does not work for everyone. This may not be for you and may hurt you if you try and be too aggressive with yourself. This is not a competition. This is just my method to deal with deep issues.
Have a good evening.
Please be aware of what you are about to say. Is this a contructive comment?
I don't think that sitting on a cushion alone will help to destroy attachments.
I have devised a method that works for me and is very sound.
I have found that a lot of people build walls around themselves in layers and layers and layers and layers. I think the reason for the layers is because people don't have the proper guidance and knowledge on how to deal with the problems they are having, so as a reaction to a situation over time, people build these layers around themselves and create strong bonds of attachment.
I have found that you must first calm the mind and be able to cure the first problem. The first problem is being able to sit without trying to run away from your problems, because you take them everywhere. As in learning to slowly sit and be calm and ok with you. relax your body to let go of extra stress.
Then after you are ok with sitting alone with you company then comes introspection.
You have to look inside and see if you are even ready or want to cure your problems.
If you are ready to cure your issues and have come to terms with and wanting to cure yourself, then the work begins.
You have to first look inside and find what the problems you have are. When you have identified your first unresolved issues, you then focus on those issues and see where it leads to. to see what the basis of all your problems are, your main issue must be identified you don't have to do it in a linear order. You have to find out why you feel the way you do.
It takes time, 5 years in fact sometimes to deal with deep rooted issues, but there is no time limit. I could take less time. But it depends on the amount of work and disciple you have. You don't need to do it alone.
When you figure out what to main root of one problem is then after you identify it you can begin to work on it. There may be many main roots, and many main problems. So many that it chokes out the good roots and no water can penetrate and help you grow.
When you find out what the problem is like anger, the main root is a fear of something. Then you look at it more and figure out why you feel afraid. You also must fight the urge to change the subject, like a mother holding a child that can't cope with the problem they are upset about. Then forgive yourself, if you feel like guilty, keep planting the seed of self-forgiveness at the base root of your problem slowly over time until you have forgiven yourself, and don't act on reactionary impulses, examine them and see them for what they are without judging them and forgive yourself.
If it is embarrassment, then you must be able to let go of the embarrassment, know that most likely no one even remembers what you did and the reason that you are avoiding those people is because you are projecting your fear of ridicule on to them to yourself. Forgive yourself for it. I have learnt that sometimes the only way to fix embarrassment to go to the place that you embarrassed yourself at much later and see that no one is ridiculing you as much as you think. You must be able to see it as it is without reacting to your fear once you get there.
Sometimes our problems are worst in our own minds then they really are.
Even if someone is trying to purposely giving you a hard time, it’s not always your fault that they are acting that way if you are kind in the situation. Sometimes you just need to get away from it or them or whomever. Some people are really insecure and when you are healing yourself or have come to a point, you sometimes act like a mirror to their self by accident and people don't like that. They jump like you touched and exposed nerve. Most likely they don't realize it and are reacting out of fear instead of recognizing through it.
When you reacted to an issue like an exposed nerve, that is where part or all of your problem stems from. That is your best place to open up like a dirty wound and scrub vigorously out the infected and scared tissue.
After words like a real wound, you bandage the wound and nurse it, keeping it from becoming infected again. Then after you take gentle and proper care of the wound, the wound will heal up properly and you will be better able to help others with their wounds once you have healed yours. Because those healed wound give us experience like when a child burns his or her hand and discovers what "HOT" is.
Like I said before this can take a long time. But it is worth it.
I don't know yet how to deal with things that are happening in the moment yet, just about how to help heal in this way after the problem happened.
I recommend that you have all the tools you need first before doing any of this. Like a psychologist that you can go to, or a person who you can go to for deep intense support that knows how you act and react and knows how to calm you down. You will feel the feeling deeply and you may react violently to them. If you feel like there is something wrong then stop.
This may take a few days to a week or more to get over one issue, then I would give yourself a period of a few weeks to grieve and feel happy and normal again until you attempt to dig further in.
Take it or leave it, this does not work for everyone. This may not be for you and may hurt you if you try and be too aggressive with yourself. This is not a competition. This is just my method to deal with deep issues.
Have a good evening.
Please be aware of what you are about to say. Is this a contructive comment?
5
Comments
When you clear the "crap" then it won't be there anymore. every time I do this exersize I feel more open and able to function. I don't attach myself to "looking" attachments. If they are there then they will be there, if not then not.
I don't create new stories, I try to find resolve for the here and now of my practise in order to be more aware of myself and the world.
If I didn't do this method that I discovered then I would have not reason to practice buddhism. My goal was to find out who I am and to gain as much wisdom and insight from myself and others in the world as possible. I became more introspect into finding and destorying the attachments of myself in order to heal. I started to gain ephifanies into really deep truths with out searching for these, like in zen, they just came and I got it like a snap of and instand. They were just basic wisdoms but still.
Then I came apon buddhism, I thought it was mystical or stupid or strange or not for me at first, then I read up on it and it turns out that the buddha has said every thing that I believe and felt.
So I stopped following my Pratyekabuddha path and realized that there was this guy named shakymuni, it turns out that he figured out all of this stuff completely way before me and way beyond me.
Ever since then I have been following what he said.
I just use this method and try to incorperate it when I really get stuck. Like now in order to dig up and cut away my karmatic attachments from countless lifetimes. turns out there is a lot of karmatic attachments in you from countless life times.
What your doing is introspection as you say. A sort of self analysis or self examination. As you say it requires a degree of equanimity/calm/objectivity. With it comes insights into the nature of the 'layers'/karma/impediments.
Will it change you? Yes.
Good plan.
-Phenomena arises from causes
-First we should understand and eliminate these causes
-Understand nothing is permanent
-There are only effects arising out of causes, developing due to causes, and ceasing due to causes.
-Thus the world around you is just a flux of change devoid of self.
You have "discovered" a practice that is part of the human experience and is very effective. You might like the book Feeding Your Demons by Tsultrim Allione, a practice of meeting with, not running away, from our deep fears, attachments, flaws, and asking questions, and "hearing" the answers from within your own being.
insights come and go during and after meditation.
I second this
personal honesty is the most diffucult type of honesty and can also be down right frightening. it is not easy, even if you have a "plan". good luck to all that dive deep, but i still think the best plan is to "just sit". Because all things come to you as you are ready for them when you just sit, and it happens genuinely when you do so without any expectation at all.