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Could seeing Truth/Enlightenment possibly lead to suicide?
zenmyste
Veteran
(forgive me if my title is uncomfortable for some)
My question arises because, i often wonder if 'enlightenment' is different for different people?
Could it be something that when one finally 'sees' the 'truth' (enlightenment) he cannot bare the reality and his life could even become worse because its not exactly what he was hoping for?
We all assume that; to be enlightened is a 'good' thing! But to be enlightened is to see 'truth' and truth may not always be comfortable!! (Although still truth)
Perhaps im looking at this from a non buddhist perspective;
HOWEVER,
the reason that im asking this is because i had an Uncle who was very spiritual, he always wanted to better himself and was always seeking enlightenment! He was into buddhism (as well as other practices) and he always kept DIARIES and LETTERS;
Now the thing is when we (family and friends) read his diaries and letters its sounds like he 'did' achieve his goal in finding the answer to his questions; and it comes across like he couldnt 'hack' whatever it was he found out!!
He was never really a 'depressed' person, and always seemed happy, generous, and loving but according to his writings he didnt 'like how the world was' even though he 'stated' that he was happy with who 'he' was he decided it was time to remove himself from the world!
He used to speak and write of a 'truth reality' (as he would call it) "a truth about reality in which he didnt like"
He died before i could ask him any questions about this;
Ive always wondered deep down what another enlightened person would have to say about his writings; what was this truth he thought he knew? Why couldnt he hack it? Did he remove himself because he realized a truth and couldnt deal with it etc...
He attended alot of retreats and even stayed in monastries etc...
Then at the age of 28 he commit suicide! Very strange ! His diary doesnt talk of being depressed but more about hos journey has come to an end!!!'
My question arises because, i often wonder if 'enlightenment' is different for different people?
Could it be something that when one finally 'sees' the 'truth' (enlightenment) he cannot bare the reality and his life could even become worse because its not exactly what he was hoping for?
We all assume that; to be enlightened is a 'good' thing! But to be enlightened is to see 'truth' and truth may not always be comfortable!! (Although still truth)
Perhaps im looking at this from a non buddhist perspective;
HOWEVER,
the reason that im asking this is because i had an Uncle who was very spiritual, he always wanted to better himself and was always seeking enlightenment! He was into buddhism (as well as other practices) and he always kept DIARIES and LETTERS;
Now the thing is when we (family and friends) read his diaries and letters its sounds like he 'did' achieve his goal in finding the answer to his questions; and it comes across like he couldnt 'hack' whatever it was he found out!!
He was never really a 'depressed' person, and always seemed happy, generous, and loving but according to his writings he didnt 'like how the world was' even though he 'stated' that he was happy with who 'he' was he decided it was time to remove himself from the world!
He used to speak and write of a 'truth reality' (as he would call it) "a truth about reality in which he didnt like"
He died before i could ask him any questions about this;
Ive always wondered deep down what another enlightened person would have to say about his writings; what was this truth he thought he knew? Why couldnt he hack it? Did he remove himself because he realized a truth and couldnt deal with it etc...
He attended alot of retreats and even stayed in monastries etc...
Then at the age of 28 he commit suicide! Very strange ! His diary doesnt talk of being depressed but more about hos journey has come to an end!!!'
0
This discussion has been closed.
Comments
I suppose that a Buddhist could wrongly move toward suicide (as in wrong thinking).
(Im not saying 'i' think its right or wrong but if someones realization didnt live up to expectation then they may decide to call it a day 'before' death catches you!
I may have just figured out my answer anyway;
I suppose the answer is; 'we should expect anything anyway, we shouldnt be expecting enlightenment to be a certain way, this is what would have caused confusion and disapointment etc..
Perhaps my uncle felt the way he did 'because' he 'wrongly' expected his realization to be something it wasnt!?!
from what i have read in spirituality till now, the common thing which seems to me is : when a person might truely see ultimate reality, the mind shall change as ignorance is removed and then the mind after that experience will not return back to ignorant mind. so after experiencing ultimate reality, a feeling to end oneself shall not arise because suicide is a wrong act because it is driven by wrong thinking. why destroy a life, if you cannot create a life.
my suggestion - don't waste time in thinking what your uncle knew or did not know, or what lead him to do such a wrong act - it was your uncle's karma for which your uncle was only responsible - you are responsible for your karma, so use your time wisely. metta to you and all sentient beings.
In my own experience, you can be depressed-- and suicidal-- and not share it with anyone or show it to anyone. No one would've guessed how bad of shape I was in about ten years ago, including my ex-wife or my family.
The thought never even occurred to me that I was depressed, even though looking back now it is so obvious to me!
There is nothing "wrong" with suicide per se, but it is an indication that one is suffering deeply and is unable to see any other possible resolution from that pain. I don't think people who want to commit suicide should be judged "right" or "wrong"-- they just desperately need help.
And it is precisely the gap between where one perceives oneself now and this projected ideal that creates MORE not LESS suffering. It is just more dukkha being created out of the desire for an IDEA of what "enlightenment" is.
I'm not saying awakening shouldn't be talked about, but I do think there comes a point where ideas about awakening need to be dropped, where they serve to hinder, not help.
If you are an aspiring concert pianist, practice means doing scales, finger exercises, rehearsing endlessly, perfecting technique. It is that and only that-- just concentrating on practice. Daydreaming about performing in front of impressed crowds does not help but actually takes away from the practice.
There comes a point where trusting the practice is the only thing. "Enlightenment"-- whatever the heck that is-- will come of its own accord, in its own time.
Delusion leads to suicide.
Enlightenment leads to transcendence.
As long as spiritual life is something different or better, there is bound to be some -- maybe profound -- disappointment.
Anyway, its a very dodgy subject and hard to express in words what im getting at! I wont say no more on this subject, thanks anyway everyone for your answers! :-)