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Did Buddhism miss the mark?
Comments
When it comes to the teachings on not-self (anatta), different people have different ideas about the scope and purpose of those teachings, but there's basically three main approaches or interpretations: no self, pragmatic, and pro self.
In Theravada, for example, the general consensus (especially among those who put a lot of stock in the Abhidhamma Pitaka and the commentarial literature) is that there's no self to be found whatsoever, and you get passages like this from the Visuddhimagga: However, there are also those in Theravada who take a more 'middle of the path' approach, like Thanissaro Bhikkhu, who is of the opinion that "the anatta teaching is not a doctrine of no-self, but a not-self strategy for shedding suffering by letting go of its cause, leading to the highest, undying happiness" (No-self or Not-self?).
And then there are those who believe that there is a transcendent self, but that it's merely obscured by the aggregates.
As for myself, when I first started out, I was decidedly in the no self category since most of the books and teachers I had stressed this interpretation. But after studying and contemplating the teachings more, I'm now of the opinion that the anatta teachings are ultimately a pragmatic, soteriological methods rather than a strict ontological statements about reality one must believe.
In fact, I think the Suttas are quite clear that, as important as having an intellectual understanding of the teachings is, people who are serious about ending suffering will eventually need to put these teachings into practice to see whether they really do lead to a true and lasting happiness. Simply clinging to views of self certainly won't do it; and it should be noted that clinging to the view 'I have no self' can be as much of a form of self view as 'I have a self': Ultimately, I think trying to approach the teachings on not-self from an purely intellectual standpoint runs the risk of turning them into a metaphysical doctrine of self, which I believe falls short of their intended purpose. The Dhamma itself isn't just a collection of words, it's something to be utilized, to be experienced; and the Buddha didn't teach anatta as a doctrine of self, he taught anatta as part of his overall strategy to overcome suffering.
The first noble truth states that, in short, the five clinging-aggregate (panca-upadana-khandha) are suffering, i.e., it's the clinging in reference to the aggregates that's suffering, which originates due to craving for sensual pleasure, craving for becoming, and craving for non-becoming (SN 56.11). The teachings on not-self, in conjunction with meditation practices, help us to develop dispassion in regard to the aggregates and relinquish our attachment to them.
As SN 22.22 illustrates, clinging to the aggregates is like mentally picking up a heavy burden; and by putting that burden down through "the remainderless fading & cessation, renunciation, relinquishment, release, & letting go" of craving, the 'burden' of suffering is cast off. At the point, questions of self and not-self are no longer useful or relevant. As Sariputta warns in AN 4.174, asking what remains after the remainderless stopping and fading of the six contact-media "objectifies non-objectification": All that's left is the 'highest happiness' (Dhp 204), the 'casting off of the burden' (SN 22.22), nibbana.
As to your interpretation of anatta, change is one way to demonstrate a lack of self, yes, but so is reductionism (as used by the Arahant Nagasena). Whether or not the Buddha or Nagasena knew about particle physics is irrelevant -- we know about it now and it can be used to reduce objects just like Nagasena did with Milinda. The method is the same.
Nagasena went through all the individual parts of a chariot with Milanda and asked if any of the were the chariot -- the wheels, the pole, the axel, etc; when Milanda confessed that none of these were the chariot, Nagasena replied "A chariot does not exist! A chariot is just a word!" (that's compositional nihilism) My argument is the same as Nagasena's, I just take it further and ask what the wheel is, what the molecule is, what the atom is, etc.
But you are correct, ultimately we simply disagree about what Buddhism does and doesn't teach, and we may just have to accept that and agree to disagree