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I am a B*tch. -- A grand first step in self improvement
novaw0lf
Veteran
in Philosophy
Hey some of you may remember me. I have a habit of dropping in on this forum once every couple months for a spell, then disappearing for a while. I just wanted to share a video that I made about myself overcoming reclusive tendencies. I figured that to show this video to as many people as possible would be a good exercise in overcoming my fear of public audiences. Hope you enjoy, and by demonstrating by action, I hope that this inspires other people to overcome their fears as well. I paraphrase Jim Morrison by saying that once we expose ourselves to our deepest fears, we're then set free.
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Be The Change You Wish To See In The World. My all time favorite quote.
One, teeny tiny, little suggestion; Please choose another word to describe yourself and forgo the "Bitch" terminology. You have every right to label yourself in any manner you wish to get across the ideas you need to get across. But there are other words or phrases that would work just as well. Bitch is universally seen as a negative/derogatory term unequivocally tied to female and female behavior. It's sexist. Other than that one tiny criticism, I reiterate my first observations above.
And thank you very much.
Keep doing the 1% .......
Anyway, good luck selling your books.
Nice video. You are on your way.
You said you would improve ,"one percent every day." ( I know it was a mis speak, you should watch that if you are going to stay " live" as you report.)Try one percent a year . You look about thirty, in fifty years at one percent a year you may be 80 percent perfect. I'm being silly, but my point is to caution against seeking perfection unless you are heading to vows.
By the way, you did your big screw up and 10000 or more saw. I am near sixty and have been screwing up and getting embarrassed by my actions or speech my whole life. You know, either because of my past youth and poor judgement or common human frailties and mistakes like my hubris or stupidly , or rashness, or impatience , i have caused others to think poorly of me . I too am very shy . I have a hard time making things right. I am sure that ten thousand or more have seen me as flawed. But I hope and try to make fifteen thousand see me as more than just that, and maybe even change the minds of some who have judged me( rightly or wrongly) in the past.
I hope you are safe. I think you should change your name if you feel you need and then get on with life with perhaps less paranoia ( your paranoia seems justified to me).).
I have discovered a group , a running group, where I practice with guys who enjoy the sport. We meet every Sunday for three or four hours. We run and the we talk. All just guy B.S.
Many are ex military and they are a fine bunch. I feel at home with them. Maybe find a group of good guys to hang with. Stay true to your woman and find little shafts of light coming through the box you are now in. Thank you for your service.
As far as the name is concerned, it's both. I'm kind of two people online, and I'm trying to bring that back to one person by being honest.
The book that was criticized so highly was, for the most part, taken off of the market and rewritten. There are a few copies floating out there, but that's all there really is to link anymore. I'm 25.
The 1% better every day motto was actually coined from an old mentor of mine; it wasn't a misspeak. I don't believe that there's such a thing as literal perfection in that I can become a flawless version of myself; that's something that I learned a long time ago. By what I said, one can be 230% better than what they were before merely several months ago with daily commitment to themselves. Still not perfect, but over two times better in whatever it is that they dedicate themselves to, be it an aft-form like martial arts, or courage building, etc.
I actually thought about changing my name entirely and just disappearing altogether, but I couldn't because the book is unchangeable, published in my original name. So I was faced with two options: completely abandon everything and run, or take a mere quiescence necessary in order to work on myself--to build enough courage to turn around, take responsibility for my mistakes, and take my old name back, and ultimately restore its honor. I chose the former.
I think that completely changing my name and turning tale to run is the easy way out.
To change my name is to start a new story, but such a name would be devoid a history. Without a history, there is no character development. Without character development, how can a character be believed? They wouldn't and shouldn't be. I could change my name and live in a kind of peace, but then, that I would feel like I would just be waiting to die--a person who -metaphorically- died at 25 and was buried at whatever age I would be physically buried at (let's say 60).
No.
There is a lot in your video that 'kinda speaks volumes', but I can't relate to your age group anymore so will not try to. To help others, first you have to help yourself. How are you achieving this lofty goal?
Are you even subscribing to some kind of buddhist philosophy? If you are not, then you will never be satisfied with this site. I saw the image you posted in the other thread. I am not sure exactly what you were referencing when you said really look because your a 'Windows pc user' and I use a mac, so your environment is slightly alien to me, and also your tabs were pointing more to your investigation of whether dreadlocks was the way forward for self imagery, or was that deliberate? However, I digress.
Let me put this in perspective:
I had only just been introduced to buddhism at your age (not by a master, but my uni friend, who wasn't even buddhist, who decided to bring it up in a conversation whilst walking in the mountains and taking an hallucinogenic compound, that I'd introduced to him. However, what he said resonated so loudly and clearly, that to this day, I am still deafened by the transformation it promised, and am seeing it bear fruit, however, it only flowers and fruits once in a lifetime. I don't imbibe hallucinogens anymore, although, I can still recognise the craving, but have an antidote mindfulness.
There was so much going on in my life at that time that I literally took refuge (without knowing I had taken refuge) in it as far as I could understand. I now take refuge in it because I know that it is the right thing to do, because I have spent a little time meditating here and there.
I have repeatedly looked at the 4NT's and seen the truth and wisdom of the teaching. I know, that the way to really get to grips with what I truly desire, is to follow the path as laid down in the eight-fold path.
There is the reality of your reality, and my reality; both are equally valid, and neither invalidates the other.
Hope your hidden GF subscribes to you because she has a true belief in you and is not attached to your views, good looks and six pack.
mettha
"I am" is delusion.
heads up @atiyana...check the dates on the threads you're pulling....some of the people aren't regulars or just aren't here at the present time...If you pull a thread that's a year old, the mods will tell you to start another one.
Edit: A couple of months old is okay sometimes if your looking for feedback...just depends on who is here.
Thanks, though are you saying this thread is over a year old or just giving a general heads up? I think I have only been responding to the first page or two of threads, but I will keep what you say in mind. Thanks again for your time.
Oh, no....not this thread...but he's not really around right now...he pops in and out.
Yeah, just a general heads up ..
..
The second page might be old.......the pace has picked up around here lately.
We're not as fast as twitter and fb....but we can get some speed goin' if given the chance, hahaha
Well, actually, the stuff from January and February (like this thread) is from page 10-12 on the list
OH...maybe he's looking at the sub categories...not the whole list...
There is more than one list ;P