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Question on death
Bunks
Australia Veteran
Is it poor taste to give someone you know who knows they will die soon a Buddhist book on death and dying?
0
Comments
I think it is fine, along with a statement that: "I thought you might find some thing in here helpful or comforting." (or something like that)
BTW, I am assuming a person has some wisdom in selecting such a book and knows the ill person well enough to select appropriately.
Depends on the person and the book. For example the 'Tibetan Book of Living and Dying', has proven very helpful to a lot of people . . .
@ Bunks
Makes me ask if they are Buddhist?/ open to other religions other than the one they might feel they are/ have you talked about it with them?/ what's the trust relationship between the two of you/
Skillfull means involves discerning if this is an appropriate action at all and if so when and how might be the right way and time to do so. This info is where our own ego/identity most often face plants and so should be first screened through your own meditation.
It might be helpful. Or it might not.
I wouldn't, for example, offer to read from any of my books to my grandma. I do my practice for her, but I don't share it much with her. She is very much a believer in God, she honestly doesn't understand anything else so it would only cause confusion in such a sensitive state of mind for her. For others, it might be quite helpful.
If the person is aware of your beliefs, what I would do is ask them if it was ok for you to offer a book to them. Or if you already know they are interested. But if you know them to be of their own separate belief set, I wouldn't usually choose that as the best place to introduce a new belief to them. They might appreciate you reading a prayer to them, but the last thing you want to do is cause stress or doubt or anything like that to a dying person. It is most important that they exit this life with a peaceful state of mind, whatever might bring them to that.
I agree its a good book, but in the last days of someone's life, it may not be appropriate, especially if they have been brought up with another religious background.
I have to admit, if I found out tomorrow, that I had a few days to live, I'd ask for a very serious buddhist practitioner to come and have a very serious discussion with me about what I was about to undertake; and ask him to help me make the transit to the next plane. I may be their greatest challenge, but my life will then have meant something. However, I suspect some will just say:
'Who is this Joe Bloggs that demands my presence.' Then I will be able to decipher who is the wheat from the chaff...
For me personally unless they were asking advice from me as a buddhist. Even on my facebook page I try to be very very light with anything meditation, mindfulness, or buddhist that I post. The people who want to know will come to you.
When my grandpa was dying, I didn't offer any "Buddhist advice" or anything to either him or my family. I let them work out the grieving process as they saw fit as Christians.
However, for individuals who are ambivalent about spirituality, it may be okay to say "Hey, I've got a book that I found really helpful in dealing with the end of life. Do you want to take a look?" instead of "Here's a Buddhist book on dying." Give them the option of reading it or not.
Nope. I think it would be a very helpful thing.
Maybe I'm just biaised though
In metta,
Raven