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Contributing to discussions you initiate
anataman
Who needs a title?Where am I? Veteran
I post content on this site because I am seeking answers or want to elucidate on how others who regard themselves as buddhist, or are investigating buddhism, see things. Yet many people, as @federica repeatedly points out, start something without actually making a further contribution. If you look at my posts, I am always looking at the content and engaging. Yet others just fade away. Perhaps if the contributor doesn't engage the thread should be binned....
The buddhist moral metaphor here is: Don't start something you have no intention of finishing...
Just a thought
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Comments
You have no idea how many threads I have closed on the basis that the OP has never returned to engage in discussion.
It has happened a lot with 'new' members, who have posted once, and once only.
Although it's now rare and doesn't happen as often as it used to
we've also had spammers join purely and simply to advertise their wares/events/
books/dharma centres and other things they have 'on offer'. Brian made a post on that, so I have absolutely no qualms about ditching those posts either...
On a tangent, I strongly object to students/researchers joining the forum for the pure and simple reason to have us do their research and homework/assignment for them.
When that happens, providing not too many replies have been posted, I usually dump the thread, and send the OP a message....
@federica -- In general, I agree with your displeasure. On the other hand, it is interesting to note how many are in fact willing to do someone else's homework ... and perhaps gain a better focus on their own practice or, I grant you, preening.
Many people who join such a discussion, are actually unaware that that is its purpose...
Often, 'new members' don't actually reveal or announce their intention.... so other contributors are doing so without understanding that they're not merely responding to some newbie's curiosity......
i understand the feeling, luckily this isn't the reason why i joined the forums. I needed genuine, experienced buddhist to whom i can ask questions and debat aspects of buddhism to broaden my understanding. And i've put up one post and gotten such a whelm of answers that i'm looking forward to the next one
I personally don't have a problem responding to those doing homework or just asking newbie questions. I worry more about the disservice it does them in trying to do homework with no sources, lol. But, sometimes they are asked to interview people from other faiths, and if they are in small down, they might have no access to other people other than the internet, so, I guess for me my feelings depend on the situation.
I think sometimes new people probably go to a hundred different forums to post their questions, and then forget to even log in again to see if they got a response. I've done that, unintentionally, when taking on a new interest. I'll find a fitness site that looks interesting, I might post something, and then by the next day I forget I even posted because I found a site that better met my needs among the dozens I checked out. It's not an intentional abandoning. But I see no problem in removing those.
What I find confusing is when people who are participating in discussions otherwise, start a discussion and then never follow up, never respond to questions posed to them and so on. It makes me question their motives for posting it at all, though sometimes people just are called away by life and it might take a few days for them to return.
And that is what makes me prickle... Motivation and intention are important aspects of buddhism in my view, and hidden agendas are aspects of ill-will or wrong that I find intolerable (perhaps thats too strong a word - unacceptable), but thats another topic.
I like to help my children do their homework, and my eldest got a commendation for his RS work on buddhism; even though he has no interest in what I told him, so I don't mind helping anyone else; but you have to remember to announce it as such.
WRT the points you raised; there are times when I post something and whilst trying to get to the latest feed, find that I missed someones response or question, it's only when I re-read things a few days later; because I'm forgetful, that I realise I may have appeared rude or dismissive of their comment.
"Of all the gin-joints in all the world...."
How am i suppose to take that
?
with a pinch of salt and tequila
chuckle good one ^^
Gin is most certainly not drunk with salt, and tequila is gilding the lily....
A good Gin and Tonic is STIRRED, not shaken. As James Bond finally conceded in the first Bond film starring Daniel Craig; he ordered the ORIGINAL gin and tonic cocktail invented by Ian Fleming.
G&T??? I think that's called a Vesper Martini, although Lillet does have quinine in it. Some say it's more properly made with Lillet vermouth. Regrdless, is should be shaken, not stirred, of course.
A martini should NEVER be shaken. Ever.
http://mrbibbshouseoflove.com/2012/06/08/the-classic-martini-shaken-not-stirred-stirred-not-shaken/
How did I start a thread on what constitutes the 'best Gin & Tonic"? I'll have one later and decide anyway, thanks for the recipes. I'm not a fan of tequila anyhow.
This is the perfect incident to illustrate precisely the workings and machinations of a thread whom nobody really pays much attention to; And this is why, with serious, focused discussions, I try to maintain a level of concentration, and remind members to 'keep on topic'. Because otherwise - as is the case so brilliantly illustrated here - you get a distinct case of 'Chinese Whispers'.
What starts off as one discussion, careers tangentially off piste to become something else entirely!
All very fine and well, but much depends if some others who "engage" are either willing to or capable of listening to the OP.
Some insist on using their own terms and your accepting their own ideas of what the true question is. There have been a number of instances of this on NB.
Frankly, I'll call a spade a spade and am glad when the moderators close the thread.
Oh K
Thanks for that @Nirvana...
That sort of drained the life out of things, but that's calling a spade a spade I suppose.
I won't necessarily close a thread, but I have banned/suspended people for calling a spade a spade before.
It depends, of course, how respectful and in context they are.
Some people say things purely for the sake of saying them, and contribute little or nothing to the discussion in hand....
Had a few of those lately.
Deleted a few comments of that nature....
Also deleted threads before anyone could comment - but that was understandable...
???? Drained the life out of things? Oops! Didn't see that one coming... Especially as you raise a very good point I for one would not choose to squash.
I must say I'm at a loss here. I do think, though, that my meaning above must have been put in very poor words, indeed. What I meant was that ofttimes some very few people kinda hijack a thread by not even giving a serious look at the OP and then going on to address a subject which really hasn't one iota's worth to do with the gist of the OP. In such cases, the OPer is probably wise just to let it go. I, however, am sufficiently cantankerous ("unwise") as to not let it go and go on to "call a spade a spade" by letting the said interlocuters know that I intend to ignore any further thing they may write in that particular thread. This may or may not be considered rude by the moderators, although I'd think it'd depend on whether ad hominem means were used. I try to stay high and dry in the realm of ideas only, though. Nevertheless I am always happy to see the thread closed whose OP is merely used as a sounding board for someone with a different axe to grind. If we cannot be friendly enough to listen carefully in the first place, that should not IMO be burdened by everybody else. Of course, it all depends on the succinctness of the OP! Perhaps one might think I have done the same with the OP of this thread. lol
In sum, I agree that you should continue to participate in a thread that you start, unless it just goes crazy...
I agree, I think, kind of anyhow.
I find it unfortunate when new people come to ask a "beginner question" and there seem to be people who find it clever to add witty one liners that the brand new beginner is supposed to attempt to decipher, and then from there on the discussion is carried on a far more advanced topic discussion than a brand new to Buddhism person will not only be confused by, but judging by how often they never come back, are probably scared off by.
Threads have a way of wandering off topic, sometimes it's charming and fun, and sometimes not. But when it happens to new people, I find that unfortunate. If that had happened to me when I finally felt confident enough to post, I would have left, too.