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Love and Hate
lobster
Crusty Veteran
I am a great believer in loving wisdom and hating ignorance, unkindness and suffering.
Altruistic love and a compassionate hate of our fallibility is part of dharma? Hate may be too strong a word, how would you describe it? Just watching aversion and attraction arising perhaps . . .
:wave: .
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Don't let yourself fall into the trap of hate. Simply have compassion for those who suffer, and for those who perpetrate unkindness and who are deluded with ignorance. Compassion is important if you want to have the skillful means to guide or inspire them out of ignorance towards wisdom.
Sometimes you have to get involved in the big picture, and how would you know love and compassion if you didn't have hate and pity to compare them with. Just a thought.
I have loved a lot but I have never hated.
Aversion yes, it happens. And yes, I dislike ignorance, unkindness and suffering too.
But they're facts of life. Simply disliking is not enough. I never sit down cross-armed over the things I dislike. I always do something about them to set them right, within my reach. Or to set myself right. Or both.
So hating/disliking, no. Understanding and positive action, yes.
Yes. Aversion is a more appropriate word.
Thanks guys.
Just watching aversion and attraction arising perhaps . . .
Yes, I think craving and aversion need to be clearly and honestly seen if they are to be understood.
Trungpa says that part of the lojong slogan 'Practice the five strengths, The condensed heart instruction' entails reproach (one of the five strengths)
I've had full-on stomach emptying teeth baring erm, aversion. Sure felt like hate . . . (having these experiences is apparently common after kicking out an abusive ex and he keeps calling and 'coming by' with the latest threat or whine to reconcile).
Sincerely, though, aversion is the perfect 'concept' for that physical, psychological and spiritual experience I mistook for seething hatred. Aversion is so much more easy to cope with than fear, without whom aversion has no basis.
But putting up with the much LESS ego-comfy acknowledgment of fear allowed me to bring in compassion. Bringing in compassion with aversion running the show never occurred to me. I don't mean compassion for the object of aversion, I mean compassion for ME. Much later on, compassion for the pathetic lost soul of the aversive ex husband came into the picture, but that was only after fear of him was gone.
I didn't have slogans or most of the Buddha's wisdom during this process (rising of aversion, recognition of fear as aversion's cause, waning of fear, rising of compassion). Retrospectively, the fear and aversion were necessary, and served their purpose. Struggling against them, or putting them through their paces with Buddha's wisdom -- well, I didn't do it, so that's that -- but I wouldn't have administered the wisdom properly, would have used it as a 'thou shalt not', or at least would have had that kind of relationship with it.
At least from my samsara-laden POV, there are situations and circumstances where aversion serves a vital purpose and perhaps ought not be smoothed out? Discernment, again.
Hate and anger is like the raw enactment of attachment and clinging. Clinging and attachment to self, thoughts, ideas, principles, pride, ego, on and on.....
The way to reduce hate and anger is a gradual day by day ptactice of letting go of hateful and unskillful thoughts.
Thanks guys,
I would suggest most peoples love has the same quality. It is a clinging attachment to an object of veneration, person, chocolate or feel good cushion gymnastics.
Most of us I would suggest veer towards extremes on a daily basis [usual enlightened Boddhisatvahs excluded of course].
This is the fuel of practice, allowing our inclinations to be tempered.
How do we move away from, as @namarupa says, these 'unskillful thoughts'? It would seem discernment as suggested by @Hamsaka is the key.
Here perhaps we understand the need for calm abiding, focus and other mind training that brings us into the Middle Way.
In a sense we are trying to allow the arisings to naturally refine their quality. In essence become more subtle as we observe their nature. Part of Mr Cushions practical purpose.
Perhaps the use of the words compassion and aversion illustrates a more balanced approach to human intensity? Perhaps intensity is a requirement or inspiration in our practice?
:wave: .
Trungpa says that compassion is a soft spot that makes you vulnerable. You want to have a suit of armor and prove to everyone that you are good and unassailable. This soft spot makes you more human in my opinion.
Everyone has some tenderness that can bloom into compassion. Until cultivating that we have passion rather than compassion.
I hesitate to use the word hate. To me, it has rather strong actions and feelings associated with it. I try to be careful how I use it. I hear my kids say it and I just cringe. I don't like a lot of things. That doesn't mean I hate them. I think hate is thrown around too much these days, along with love.
m m m . . . thanks guys . . .
On the whole, as a generalisation and certainly for us beginners at New Buddhist, the generation of metta, kindness, equanimity, calm abiding, positivity is more skilful. No doubt.
Perhaps I should have titled this thread 'love, compassion and ODing on Metta' . . . So in a sense humanity is unbalanced and we have to enter the middle way by extreme kindness?
. . . mind you do we learn to 'love the hateful devils', when planning picnic trips to the hell realms?
Are we always in the six lower realms . . . only our response or attitude changes?
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ten_spiritual_realms