Sleeping Disorders
Zayl
Veteran
So, I've been reading up on it, and I'm fairly certain have something called "Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder" (DSPD) Which, to my astonishment, is actually a thing.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delayed_sleep_phase_disorder
I guess it explains a lot. Ever since I was in Elementary School (Primary School) and all the way until present day I had extreme difficulties waking up in the morning. I'd often have to set multiple alarms, and throughout the day I was always a bit groggy and sluggish. Not to mention that at a "proper" bed time I had to lay down and force myself asleep. Sometimes sleep would come, most of the time it didn't. Now, during summer or, lately, my sadly-too-long stint of unemployment, my natural sleep cycle takes root. It is a regular cycle, I end up falling asleep, and waking up around the same time. I'll fall asleep at 9 or 10 in the morning, and sleep solid till about 5 or 6 in the afternoon. Upon waking up, in the late evening and through the night I felt energized, alert, confident, and I could concentrate so much better. Not to mention I find an extreme beauty during the night time that I just do not see during the day. I should also mention that at these odd times of sleep, sleep itself comes naturally, and I wake up without an alarm clock almost right on the same hour, every day. And even then, I'd often fall asleep in class, or, if it wasn't for the fact I had to constantly be standing, I'd have fallen asleep at work too.
Yet I am labeled as lazy, incompetent, talent-less, worthless, good for nothing, etc. Which after a couple of decades gets really, really tiresome and degrading. Not to mention the mounting frustration I feel that despite my best efforts to explain that, believe it or not, some people just sleep during the day and are awake at night, people don't believe me and just label me as yet another good for nothing sack of shit. And coming from what little family I have, that really fucking hurts. The frustration and feelings of inadequacy that bear down on me from society's 9 to 5 heartbeat, and my inability to participate in it, is even worse.
So, I've chosen to stop fighting it, and to attempt to adapt my life to it. I mean after all, the world needs energetic people awake at all hours of both the day, and night, right? how else do 24 hour businesses run themselves? I read in that wiki article that there are even a select few schools that are willing to cater to fellow night owls, and allow study and lectures in the middle of the night and wee morning hours, when I would be as awake, alert, and competent as any normal person is during the day.
I guess what my question is, is if anyone else on here suffers from a sleep disorder, how have you dealt with it? I've tried forcing myself onto a regular schedule (does not work) melatonin treatments (does not work) varying bedtimes that are still at least somewhat normal (does not work) for years and years, with no results at all. Furthermore what I'd like to say is I do not have Insomnia. If I'm allowed my normal sleep schedule, I get regular, deep sleep, day by day.
So, yeah. Shit sucks but in my mind it's not a disorder, I'm just different is all. It wouldn't be so difficult if society was, you know, a bit more open to it.
Comments
I think adapting your work and social life to this is far more healthy in the long run to taking medications and 'fighting' what has obviously been a life long thing.
As for other people's opinions, that has been unfortunate
and think of how anyone with atypical behavior gets the same treatment -- it is based in ignorance.
What about a night shift job? There are millions of them. You'd be a godsend to the right employer, 'most' people who work nights struggle quite a bit, in spite of doing it for years. You'd be a natural! And if you live in a city, there's always something needing doing for night shift employment.
I think you should go for it. Give yourself the compassionate understanding you need, and the permission you have a right to give yourself for accommodating for the way you were made
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the most unfortunate part is that so many of the overnight types of jobs are lower level/lower paying jobs. I've worked with people who are just night people. It's who they are, and they do just wonderfully with it. But most of them are working jobs like help desk, factory work, mining work, and other things that are not only not very high paying, but some are really repetitive stress jobs that cause burnout and even health problems. But there is no reason why you can't live your life that way if it is what you want. It does make socialization more difficult unless you are in an area where there are a lot of other people who work nights. But not everyone cares about socializing so much, either