so i'm a godfather...
mfranzdorf
Veteran
I was recently asked by my brother-in-law to be a godfather to their new baby. He and his wife are Catholic and have no knowledge of my beliefs. I accepted, and as of today, I'm a "godfather". I do believe in a higher power of some type, as much as any mortal person can I suppose, but being buddhist in my practice, the Catholic beliefs are not mine. I accepted the invitation because , honestly, I felt honored to do so. At first I felt conflicted, but after thinking on it, I'm good with my decision. I know what I believe and I'm good with that, and to refuse to stand up with my baby niece and promise to help her live a moral life seems petty. I'm not looking for approval or praise, just curious if others have put their personal beliefs aside to accommodate a family / friend request like this? Thanks for reading, maybe I just needed to share this with somebody!
Comments
I'm godfather to my 8 year old niece, her parents are aware of me being a Buddhist. She was baptized in a Lutheran church so I don't think it was as strict as a Catholic baptism may be. I have to say though that my relationship with my niece has really been a strong influence in my life and I take the responsibility serious. Congratulations.
When my first son was born, we had him baptised to appease family despite my not sharing the Christian belief about baptism. My sister, who was Pagan at the time, is his godmother. Part of what she promised was to raise him, in the event of our deaths according to the church principles. This was a Lutheran church.
At the time, and for a long while after, I felt uneasy about it. In part because I never believed in the baptism to begin with, and in asking my sister to uphold beliefs not only she didn't believe in, but us either. Over time, she and I simply came to an agreement that if needed, she would help raise her nephews in a manner consistent with my parenting style, and that they be free to choose their own path.
I think it's fine to do for pomp and circumstance, but I do think one has to be cautious about promising something to someone when they think you are promising one thing, and you have your fingers crossed behind your back because you do not share their beliefs. Not saying that is what you did! Just that I think it's fine to go through ceremony but to make sure both sides are clear as to the intention.
Have to agree with @karasti.
Do they know you do not practice catholicism (in the devout sense of the word)?
Do they think you do?
You see, it's one thing to accept the honour openly, with all parties aware. But would they have been of the same opinion had you revealed your actual position to them?
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They are quite aware that I am not Catholic, my brother-in-law wasn't either until he married into it. This isn't their first child, and I have attended the baptism of their first two, my wife is a godmother their first daughter.
My wife and her brother were raised in a small town and their family attended the local "Church of Christ". I can see a conflict if I presented myself falsely to them, but I didn't. I believe they see me as a generally good guy and trusted me with the commitment regardless of my religious beliefs. They know that my son was not baptised.
I see where you are coming from @karasti, and I agree. I have attended a baptism in this particular church before, and the responsibilities of the respective grandparent were very basic. Help guide the child to lead a godly life, renouncing Satan, etc..., nothing that specifically bound you to committing to the Catholic belief and traditions per se.
My thought was that I need not be a practicing Catholic in order to be a positive influence to my new goddaughter and I never presented myself as if I was.
That's totally cool then, and I'm really glad for you.
I once used to be a devout and practising R. Catholic. When my eldest daughter was a baby and due to be baptised, I asked 2 close friends to be Godparents, and thy turned me down on the basis that neither of them believed in God, and they could not in all honesty stand up in church and take the vows/make the promises required.
Which was totally fair and honest of them.
Now they are door-knocking, Bible-Bashing born-agains (whom I have tactfully distanced myself from!) and I'm a Buddhist.
Go figure!
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Then enjoy your relationship with your godchild
Despite having no religious connection whatsoever, I am very close with my godmother who is the mom of my best friend. We have been friends since we were born, and my godmother is like a second mother to me. It's a wonderful relationship, and I wish the same for you.
I am a godfather to two children who were baptised in a Catholic Church.
Their parents have no interest in the church and don't attend. It was done as more of a cultural thing (Italian background) and to please the grandparents.
Happy to go along with the ceremony even though I had no idea what was going on!
Don't over think things is my advice......
Thanks everybody, I appreciate the kind words!