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Isn't abuse and arrogance can be solution like a poisonous medicine sometimes?
rohit
Maharrashtra Veteran
How long samyak path could work! Take an example some people are too arrogant and i bet they would never able to understand that people are suffering because of them and they take advantage of it.
If Buddha has not to debate with dumb then he may remain silent or leave the place. Isn't it kind of arrogance?
And let get further if you leave place because there is no other solution then it might happen that dumb head will think that person is so innocent to harass then that dumb head might follow you and make your life a hell. Then if you abuse them it might shake his/her confidence to harass again and again!!
What do you think?
After all every Buddhist is not a monk that he/she need to swallow every attack from dumb or rude people.
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Comments
True.
But your response must be skilful, Compassionate and considered.
Do not lash out and retaliate.
What @federica said. See MN 58.
I see your point @rohit. Remember that compassion isn't always being nice to someone. Stern words are required at times (especially as a parent of young kids!)
I don't think abusing someone is the answer though.
Skilful is difficult. Appropriate response might even be difficult as we may have limited experience, response options etc.
A big part is realising what we are like and how we facilitating or a part of the equation.
For example I believe the OP is being bullied for being overtly Buddhist. However being anything can be a cause for such behaviour in others.
So the question can be addressed by trying to change all the arrogant dumb heads (a fraternity I for one belong to) or . . . ourselves . . . :buck: .
How we change ourselves is I suggest the Buddhist path. :wave: .
But i have experience some people are not having brain of human, they are just like animals who will only behave themselves if they have fear of punishment.
There is one saying by Acharya Chanakya that 'The snakes who don't have poison at least behave like that they have poison otherwise they would get killed mercilessly'
Somebody sent me this interesting link (I think it is someone's blog) which precisely deals with the blogger's reaction to different situations which would have normally triggered his anger, and how to deal with insults:
http://www.ndoherty.com/unoffendable/
The blogger, called Niall Doherty, quotes a phrase by Viktor Frankl:
"Between stimulus and response lies man’s greatest power: the power to choose."
He sums up his reflection on the quotation like this:
"Even if you find yourself in a terrible situation, or if someone throws the mother of all insults your way, you still get to choose your response. Nobody can take away that power from you, but too often we surrender it ourselves."
He also mentions the famous anecdote of the Buddha's teaching on Insult which appears in the Akkosa Sutta (SN 7.2)
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn07/sn07.002.than.html:
“Whoever returns insult to one who is insulting, returns taunts to one who is taunting, returns a berating to one who is berating, is said to be eating together, sharing company, with that person. But I am neither eating together nor sharing your company, brahman. It’s all yours. It’s all yours.”
The anecdote is retold, in different words, in the "Sutta of 42 Sections."
In his book "The Gospel of the Buddha," chapter LVII "The sermon on Abuse," Paul Carus chooses this source to retell the story:
http://www.mountainman.com.au/buddha/carus_57.htm
"A wicked man who reproaches a virtuous one is like one who looks up and spits at heaven; the spittle soils not the heaven, but comes back and defiles his own person.
The slanderer is like one who flings dust at another when the wind is contrary; the dust does not but return on him who threw it. The virtuous man cannot be hurt and the misery that the other would inflict comes back on himself."
You have been offended, and though it's very tempting to call the perpetrators of the offence names and think you are so much better than them, it should not be the case.
People are in different stages in life. Some of us are more ignorant than others, but I'm not sure that gives us the right to bask in our self-righteousness and express contempt for those we consider "below us."
Simply stay away from people who hurt you or offend you, and whenever possible, ignore their insults.
With a bit of luck, they might learn something.
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How dare you judge people so rudely. There is no merit in elevating yourself to a presumed superior position. They are Suffering and their Mind is clouded by Ignorance, but nobody is beyond redemption, or undeserving of love and Compassion.
In saying such things, I would see you as lower than they.
Perhaps they act out of ignorance, and are unaware of their foolishness.
But you judge from a presumed position of better knowledge.
You KNOWINGLY criticise and condemn them.
So in fact, your foolishness is worse, because it is on purpose and premeditated.
That is self-preserving camouflage. it is a survival strategy. It helps them survive in a world where without such defences they may well be hunted and eaten.
What is your point here?
@ federica
I am not judging self above anyone. But there is situation i am talking about.
Point about second question is that i have heard from many monks that one may show oneself angry just through act but calm inside if it is necessary .
This is the great problem for me that i just learned but it is not in my act in day to day life when crucial situation comes.
But i am asking what if the situation goes beyond the capability of household person like me who needs to survive in material life and don't feel necessary to do things right if it is beyond my capacity.
@ DhammaDragon
Thanks very much for your efforts to post this useful content.
Although my question is same that people would start to take advantage of innocent people.
"Straight trees are always cut first" means persoon should not be too straight that people start to take advantage of a person.
Yes, you ARE judging yourself above someone, and very negatively too.
It doesn't matter what the situation is, to talk about any person in that tone, does you no favours.
Cultivation of Metta and Karuna - Loving Kindness and Compassion - is of paramount importance.
Such views make you no better than they are.
Anger is like a hot coal you throw at someone, but burn yourself with first.
Anger is like buying poison for them, and drinking it yourself.
Anger is the most destructive emotion there is, and I disagree with the monks. Simply because they are in robes, does not make them right, in all cases.
@rohit: it's no use railing at the way things are unless you can do something about it.
Bullies will always be there to take advantage of the innocent or the weak.
You may not like it but so it is.
We have to be brave and learn to deal effectively with these people, when or if the situation presents itself.