Okay, now I have always been the horizontally challenged, laugh it up, eat till ya drop, worry when it comes type of person until several months ago when I had my first real encounter with violence. As a friend and I skipped stones by an out of the way ravine, I found myself enclosed by 10 or so unhappy fellas. My heart sank as the one started cursing about me looking at him funny. As I tried to casually slip away, I was greeted by a solid fist and a few kicks. (My friend received the same treatment) They left us alone after they saw we were in no condition or shape to fight.
I felt humiliated that night at home. And although thankful for not getting really hurt and evading telling my parents, I felt at a loss. I belittled myself for not being strong enough to fight despite my size, and thinking my dad, probably a 100 pounds less at the same age, had beaten up a school bully. Being very peaceloving, this was a tough situation where there was no easy way out. No adults were around, I had never met the kids, saying 'no' was not an option. ( I was just starting to become interested in Buddhism at this time)
So after this humiliating defeat, I challenged myself to improve strength, build character, and courage. I was tired of being 'Tubbs' and sought out a different lifestyle. Since that fight, or lack of it,
I have changed a lot. I began lifting weights, stretching, meditating, eating less, no snacks, no soda. I am much stronger and am amazed at things I can do. I can climb trees, fences, beat people in arm wrestling tournaments, pick people up, ride bikes for miles, run, and feel better overall.
Now there is nothing wrong about that. It almost seemed to be the one event that sparked my motivation. My friend thinks I do it to impress a girl. My parents think I do it to win a bet.
But I still have the same problem. If something similar is to ever happen again, do I be a pacifist and take the blows, use this newly acquired strength to teach someone a lesson, and risk further suffering.
I wonder if Buddha said anything about this or something related? Anyone have similar experiences? Any help is appreciated! :bowdown: