Hello everybody. From what I've read, a person filled with equanimity will feel sympathetic joy when seeing a happy being, compassion when seeing a suffering being and friendliness when seeing any being. According to the Dalai Lama, a person filled with equanimity also cannot distinguish between friends and enemies. Is that a good thing? If someone is out to get you, is it really a good thing to not be able to realize that?
Thanks.
Comments
You're confusing equanimity with being a doormat.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
If someone's out to get you - avoid it and do what you can to not be got.
But that should not stand in the way of developing the 4 Sublime States.
To me, equanimity is all about being unperturbed regardless of whatever happens to you. While one who is enlightened might display some of the qualities you mention, AFAIK that's not equanimity. It comes from not being attached to or repulsed by the experiences one has. At least that's my poor understanding of it. The promise of equanimity is also one of the main reasons I practice Buddhism.
I think the Eight Verses of Training the Mind is one of the most beautiful teachings in Buddhism and it relates to your question:
Eight Verses of Training the Mind
by Geshe Langri Thangpa
By thinking of all sentient beings
As more precious than a wish-fulfilling jewel
For accomplishing the highest aim,
I will always hold them dear.
Whenever I’m in the company of others,
I will regard myself as the lowest among all,
And from the depths of my heart
Cherish others as supreme.
In my every action, I will watch my mind,
And the moment destructive emotions arise,
I will confront them strongly and avert them,
Since they will hurt both me and others.
Whenever I see ill-natured beings,
Or those overwhelmed by heavy misdeeds or suffering,
I will cherish them as something rare,
As though I’d found a priceless treasure.
Whenever someone out of envy
Does me wrong by attacking or belittling me,
I will take defeat upon myself,
And give the victory to others.
Even when someone I have helped,
Or in whom I have placed great hopes
Mistreats me very unjustly,
I will view that person as a true spiritual teacher.
In brief, directly or indirectly,
I will offer help and happiness to all my mothers,
And secretly take upon myself
All their hurt and suffering.
I will learn to keep all these practices
Untainted by thoughts of the eight worldly concerns.
May I recognize all things as like illusions,
And, without attachment, gain freedom from bondage.
There is a page with the Dalai Lama's comments on the verses:
http://www.dalailama.com/teachings/training-the-mind
In the commentaries of verses 5 and 6, he states:
"The point that is made here is that when others provoke you, perhaps for no reason or unjustly, instead of reacting in a negative way, as a true practitioner of altruism you should be able to be tolerant towards them. You should remain unperturbed by such treatment."
Similar teachings, and practicing metta bhavana, helped me greatly on my last job, where one co-worker did her best to make my life miserable. By practicing metta towards her, and realize how much suffering she must be experiencing, I was able to deepen my practice and feel more joyful in the process, despite having a lousy job. Eventually I was laid off that job (I think in part thanks to her influence), but overcoming my suffering was a great help to me spiritually.
These reactions are normal, but being equanimous you would have inner peace.
So although your emotions may be raging you are aware they are not you. Therefore have no bite to them.
The distinguishing enemies thing may be true as far as your view of them. As one play of existence. I would have to say you would still avoid someone out to get you.
Goenka who repeats awareness and equanimity in do many of his talks, he maintains we are not vegetables waiting to be cut.
Distinguishing between those wishing harm and those showing true compassion is not the same as distinguishing friend from enemy.
Personally, I have no enemies. If somebody sees me as an enemy, that is their problem, not mine. Even if I must defend against their blows, I don't stop knowing that they attack from a place of suffering.
All you have read is true.
The Dalai Lama does distinguish, discern and is well aware of his friends and enemies. Ignorance, whether internal or external is always an 'enemy'.
The biggest 'out to get us' [shock revelation coming up] is ourselves (did you guess) . . .
For your info:
When visiting enemy states such as the hell realms, decapitation of unskilfull arisings is allowed. Which strangely enough does not excuse or promote ISIS jihad lawlessness, western imperialism or other branches of SPECTRE (Special Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion) such as the 'banking system'
Fill yourself with equanimity and 'increase in love' as the Sufis advise by all means. That is my plan . . .
Are you sure he said that? "A person filled with equanimity does not distinguish between friends and enemies" would be more accurate.
It's really a state free from craving and aversion, attraction and repulsion.
I think it's a good thing because it's possible to realize that some people are "out to get you" and not consider them to be enemies at the same time. "Cannot distinguish between friends and enemies" doesn't mean you can't see or be aware of their intentions. It just means that even when you see their bad intentions, you still don't consider them to be "my enemy".
I think "cannot distinguish between friends and enemies" could easily be interpreted as "everyone, regardless of their intentions, is a friend". And if there are no enemies to begin with, then it would follow that there can be no distinction between friends and enemies.
For example, if you are walking in the jungle and you see a wild tiger, you can perceive that animal to be a friend and not an enemy. You can feel love and compassion for that animal just like any friendly animal. But, you don't walk up to it and try to pet it on the head! If you did that it would try to kill you! But just because it would try to kill you, doesn't mean it's an enemy.
Thanks so much everyone! Especially seeker242. Your response really helped me out.
I don't think I've heard it put that way before and it captures the essence beautifully.
Is a permanent state of equanimity desirable?
To me it is because jealousy, hate, and greed are undesirable states of mind. Not sure if there is anyone out there who enjoys those feelings though.
I think permanent equanimity is identical with enlightenment. But it is a matter of discussion what 'equanimity' means.
For an awakened being, there is no one to get. He is beyond all fear or need to protect.
There are three types of equanimity.
Now, O monks, what is worldly equanimity? There are these five cords of sensual desire: forms cognizable by the eye... tangibles cognizable by the body that are wished for and desired, agreeable and endearing, associated with sense desire and alluring. It is the equanimity that arises with regard to these five cords of sense desire which is called 'worldly equanimity.'
Now, what is unworldy equanimity? With the abandoning of pleasure and pain, and with the previous disappearance of gladness and sadness, a monk enters upon and abides in the fourth meditative absorption, which has neither pain-nor-pleasure and has purity of mindfulness due to equanimity. This is called 'unworldly equanimity.
And what is the still greater unworldly equanimity? When a taint-free monk looks upon his mind that is freed of greed, freed of hatred and freed of delusion, then there arises equanimity. This is called a 'still greater unworldly equanimity.'
I think the last of these is Unbinding.
Yes Equanimity is desirable. Because it brings peace of mind. And yes it makes it difficult to separate friend and foe. Because
I say this out of experience. I do not get upset easily. And when I do I calm down fast.
It is easy to see how well people are founded in equanimity depending on how they react to adversary.
This sutta is a good story that depicts how a person founded in equanimity could react to a person with ill intent.
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn10/sn10.012.piya.html
/Victor
"Is a permanent state of equanimity desirable?"
Have you ever asked your self what it would be like to be in a permanent state of equanimity ?
From what I gather one would only see the suffering of others, in whatever form their suffering takes...A person out to get you no doubt is also suffering, so compassion in whatever form it takes, would be an appropriate response...
Is that a good thing?
Please tell us . . . here is the answer generator:
Making a welcome return (for some) is the equanimity generator. Mr Calm himself, The Squashed One, beneath us all . . . Mr Cushion!
Once you have achieved this, you will know the answer. That's the great thing about Buddhism. It is an exploration, and the learning is not through words but through your own experience.
Now ... do you think the Dalai Lama is a doormat? Observe the monks, observe your teachers .. the ones you have actual contact with. They are part of your learning processes.
Equanimity is jolly good and really just good manners, those were invented by an English gentleman around the same time as steam engines, cucumber sandwiches and cricket.
Croquet. Don't forget Croquet.
Played by a certain and increasingly-rare type.
The Gentlemen wear white linen flannels, striped jackets, boaters and sport neat handlebar moustaches, and their vocabulary consists of "I say!" "What?!", "Jolly Good Show" and "Beastly Rotter!"
The ladies generally wear gauzy, floaty pastel frocks with handkerchief hems, floppy sun hats and lace gloves. They hardly ever speak, but giggle a lot.
Indeed, and it's all very top hole. As previously discussed the Buddha was also an English gentleman sent to pacify the natives, part of a grand master plan which included Horatio Hornblower and Lawrence of Arabia.
Oh my goodness! and I promise, I have never seen that clip - but they're clad in exactly the way I described....!
I'm going to have to lie down in a dark room for a while....!