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Hmm rereading it you said the opposite. You knew what others faced in the sense of knowing that others had a range of difficulties. I thought you meant "I know what they face and I defeated it so they should do the same"
When I said that @Jeffrey I was just stating the fact that I too have been through panic attacks and the like, so I was not just coming from a never ever suffered from a phobia point of view...
I can only wish that all those with phobias of any kind will overcome them ie be able to manage them in such a way that they no longer greatly disturb their quality of life...
And that Buddhism along with 'professional' help can help them to achieve this...
Yes @Namada, I think it's normal to sort of blank out on what it is (I guess) because it is ungraspable and is just your awareness as it always is. I can get an intuitive sense of 'space' in the sense of feeling cramped and cluastrophobic is the opposite. Or the phrase 'give me some space'.
@Namada said:
Phobia or fear of something can also be a good thing, because then you need to investigate and welcome it and open up.
Careful examination of experiences can lead to insight though I wouldn't suggest pushing anyone into it. I think it requires self motivation, perhaps toward equanimity.
By way of an example:
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silverIn the beginning there was nothing, and then it exploded.USA, Left coast.Veteran
Fwiw, people were joking so I went with the moment.
When I was young, I was horribly afraid of skeletons and especially skulls, and spiders - but all of that has faded with each passing ... decade. I know that some people have used EFT or NLP to get rid of their phobias, incidentally.
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federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
When I was in therapy, they used hypnosis, suggestion, and guided calming techniques, and over time exposed me increasingly, gradually and stage by stage, to my phobia triggers.
It worked for a time, but sometimes, someone with a phobia needs continued and applied therapy, and a repetitive 'refresher' on how to deal with it.
I have never been able to either afford or be prescribed continued therapy, so I have either 'stuck' at a particular level, or even, I might even say, regressed somewhat.
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federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
@Jeffrey said:
aw just a dang sunrise? just kidding very nice anatman
(Is something supposed to happen....? I just heard pretty music for 3+ minutes, but the picture never changed at all.... )
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federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
@Shoshin said:
I think to give such a sweeping statement like that, is somewhat misleading and pessimistic federica... You are splitting hairs between "manage and overcome"
Never say never... People have, can, and do overcome them ...(and to what level depends upon the individual)
How can Buddhism help those with a phobia?
An alcoholic is always an alcoholic, even if they never take another drink in their life.
Alcoholism is managed, not cured. It is never 'overcome' it is dealt with.
A phobia is the same.
And as with alcoholics, the intensity of the influence is varied.
Buddhism helps me.
It's the well-meaning ignoramuses that get me....
0
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
Just to be clear, my one comment in the thread wasn't meant to take away from the distress people with actual phobias face. I know you didn't suggest that @federica, but I just want it to be clear I wasn't using my anxieties that I push through as a comparison to people who struggle with true phobias.
I do know people who have overcome phobias, who appear to carry on completely normally, confronting their fear without preparation. One wouldn't even know they had had a phobia unless they told you. But in those few cases of people I know, most of them started pretty intensive therapy when they were still fairly young and it did take a number of years to get to that point.
Fears and anxieties aren't the same as diagnosed phobias, for sure. Facing my fear of having to drive in city traffic is scary, but I can do it. Though, for our vacation next month, we are spending like $100 more on a airport shuttle from a smaller city just to avoid the 30 minutes drive into the city airport lol
My ex had a huge, huge phobia of needles. We had to call ahead of time and let them know so they could prepare, and they also gave him prescriptions to use (which he ended up addicted to...). Our oldest son has it too, but not nearly to that level. As long as he can ask a lot of questions and have something to squeeze, he's ok. So for him it's more a fear or anxiety that he can work with on his own. Though, our son is terrified of having haircuts because when he was 4, he wiggled in the chair and the lady nicked his ear with the electric clipper. He has not been for a haircut since. He does it himself and I trim his neck and ears. He trusts me, but it's a very stressful process for him.
@Shoshin said:
How do people eventually overcome their phobias? Do they face them head on ?
Actually, that's the way I tackled mine, though it might be that it wasn't what we would technically call a phobia, after all, and that's why I got over it fairly easily.
I had a strong aversion towards bugs, especially cockroaches.
Cockroaches were evil incarnated to me.
To the point that I pulled the corny damsel-in-distress-shouting-her-heart-out on the nearest chair every time any such creepy-crawly darted within eyesight.
I got over this "aversion" in my first job, working in an office that was infested with cockroaches.
Getting the knack for dealing with them was part of the job description and very much a matter of personal creativity, so either you swatted them yourself, or they were running all over your desk, your lunch, your coffee, your head.
Naturally, in a matter of two days, whatever we could call this aversion, was history.
Here in Switzerland, I got used to hobnobbing with big spiders.
To the point that if any of them strays into our house, I take it out with my own hands.
0
silverIn the beginning there was nothing, and then it exploded.USA, Left coast.Veteran
The mention of needle phobia reminded me that my grandfather (whom I never met) had a phobia of knives...grandma told us that you couldn't even pick up a kitchen knife without him freaking out. I took it to mean sharp knives, but could've extended to butter knives.
They used to have phobic guests on Oprah's show and If not mistaken, I think they used NLP to rid them of their oftentimes very weird phobias.
0
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
edited March 2015
My PE teacher at Convent boarding school, had a fear of feathers. Not even on birds. Apparently it exists, and is recognised, and is called 'pteronophobia'.
A single feather, found on the netball/tennis court, or out on the playing field, and I promise, I kid you not, that was her done, for the remainder of the day.
We were sent out as an advance scouting party to form a line, and walk the length of the playing field, in search of 'culprits'.
In fact, if any of us saw a feather, even out of that lesson, we'd pick it up and dispose of it.
Believe me, the temptation in the wintertime, was to find whatever feather we could and put it in her teacher communication box, in order to save having to play Hockey in the deep middle of an icy and freezing December, when the weather was at its most vicious, but we never did.
I thnk we feared God's retribution too much then....
Comments
You said 'been there done that' right? I misunderstood I guess.
Hmm rereading it you said the opposite. You knew what others faced in the sense of knowing that others had a range of difficulties. I thought you meant "I know what they face and I defeated it so they should do the same"
Ok, yes I was thinking the same @Jeffrey, not so easy to explain
When I said that @Jeffrey I was just stating the fact that I too have been through panic attacks and the like, so I was not just coming from a never ever suffered from a phobia point of view...
I can only wish that all those with phobias of any kind will overcome them ie be able to manage them in such a way that they no longer greatly disturb their quality of life...
And that Buddhism along with 'professional' help can help them to achieve this...
Yes @Namada, I think it's normal to sort of blank out on what it is (I guess) because it is ungraspable and is just your awareness as it always is. I can get an intuitive sense of 'space' in the sense of feeling cramped and cluastrophobic is the opposite. Or the phrase 'give me some space'.
Yes I too am also glad that there are treatments @Shoshin.
Any of you heard of the buddhist KNOT?...
Chill out -this is for YOU, it is a masterpiece - trust me
aw just a dang sunrise? just kidding very nice @anatman
Careful examination of experiences can lead to insight though I wouldn't suggest pushing anyone into it. I think it requires self motivation, perhaps toward equanimity.
By way of an example:
Fwiw, people were joking so I went with the moment.
When I was young, I was horribly afraid of skeletons and especially skulls, and spiders - but all of that has faded with each passing ... decade. I know that some people have used EFT or NLP to get rid of their phobias, incidentally.
When I was in therapy, they used hypnosis, suggestion, and guided calming techniques, and over time exposed me increasingly, gradually and stage by stage, to my phobia triggers.
It worked for a time, but sometimes, someone with a phobia needs continued and applied therapy, and a repetitive 'refresher' on how to deal with it.
I have never been able to either afford or be prescribed continued therapy, so I have either 'stuck' at a particular level, or even, I might even say, regressed somewhat.
(Is something supposed to happen....? I just heard pretty music for 3+ minutes, but the picture never changed at all....
)
An alcoholic is always an alcoholic, even if they never take another drink in their life.
Alcoholism is managed, not cured. It is never 'overcome' it is dealt with.
A phobia is the same.
And as with alcoholics, the intensity of the influence is varied.
Buddhism helps me.
It's the well-meaning ignoramuses that get me....
That's the way.....
@shoshin -- Let go of your version of "Buddhism" perhaps.
Just to be clear, my one comment in the thread wasn't meant to take away from the distress people with actual phobias face. I know you didn't suggest that @federica, but I just want it to be clear I wasn't using my anxieties that I push through as a comparison to people who struggle with true phobias.
I do know people who have overcome phobias, who appear to carry on completely normally, confronting their fear without preparation. One wouldn't even know they had had a phobia unless they told you. But in those few cases of people I know, most of them started pretty intensive therapy when they were still fairly young and it did take a number of years to get to that point.
Fears and anxieties aren't the same as diagnosed phobias, for sure. Facing my fear of having to drive in city traffic is scary, but I can do it. Though, for our vacation next month, we are spending like $100 more on a airport shuttle from a smaller city just to avoid the 30 minutes drive into the city airport
lol
My ex had a huge, huge phobia of needles. We had to call ahead of time and let them know so they could prepare, and they also gave him prescriptions to use (which he ended up addicted to...). Our oldest son has it too, but not nearly to that level. As long as he can ask a lot of questions and have something to squeeze, he's ok. So for him it's more a fear or anxiety that he can work with on his own. Though, our son is terrified of having haircuts because when he was 4, he wiggled in the chair and the lady nicked his ear with the electric clipper. He has not been for a haircut since. He does it himself and I trim his neck and ears. He trusts me, but it's a very stressful process for him.
Actually, that's the way I tackled mine, though it might be that it wasn't what we would technically call a phobia, after all, and that's why I got over it fairly easily.
I had a strong aversion towards bugs, especially cockroaches.
Cockroaches were evil incarnated to me.
To the point that I pulled the corny damsel-in-distress-shouting-her-heart-out on the nearest chair every time any such creepy-crawly darted within eyesight.
I got over this "aversion" in my first job, working in an office that was infested with cockroaches.
Getting the knack for dealing with them was part of the job description and very much a matter of personal creativity, so either you swatted them yourself, or they were running all over your desk, your lunch, your coffee, your head.
Naturally, in a matter of two days, whatever we could call this aversion, was history.
Here in Switzerland, I got used to hobnobbing with big spiders.
To the point that if any of them strays into our house, I take it out with my own hands.
The mention of needle phobia reminded me that my grandfather (whom I never met) had a phobia of knives...grandma told us that you couldn't even pick up a kitchen knife without him freaking out. I took it to mean sharp knives, but could've extended to butter knives.
They used to have phobic guests on Oprah's show and If not mistaken, I think they used NLP to rid them of their oftentimes very weird phobias.
My PE teacher at Convent boarding school, had a fear of feathers. Not even on birds. Apparently it exists, and is recognised, and is called 'pteronophobia'.
A single feather, found on the netball/tennis court, or out on the playing field, and I promise, I kid you not, that was her done, for the remainder of the day.
We were sent out as an advance scouting party to form a line, and walk the length of the playing field, in search of 'culprits'.
In fact, if any of us saw a feather, even out of that lesson, we'd pick it up and dispose of it.
Believe me, the temptation in the wintertime, was to find whatever feather we could and put it in her teacher communication box, in order to save having to play Hockey in the deep middle of an icy and freezing December, when the weather was at its most vicious, but we never did.
I thnk we feared God's retribution too much then....