What brought you to Buddhism & made you want to explore it?
gundicus
MA New
Hello all,
I'm brand new here been looking around for the past two days & just enjoying reading the threads and getting an idea of what some of this is about - enjoying it so far.
Just curious as to what everyone's experience is with how you came to explore Buddhism as a possible right path for your life? I'm sure everyone's road to this point is diverse & varied -just as the totality of Buddhism is - but am wondering if there was one particular turning point or aspect or event in your life that seemed to tilt the balance of 'that looks interesting - I may look into it someday?' towards 'the time to look into it is now' and eventually 'this feels right for me.'? Did many of you just have a gut instinct for years that this made sense for you ( I feel I have been heading towards this for many years on & off - but cannot explain how - have only really started delving into it in the past two years with any sort of intention to figuring out if it's a good fit for me). Or was there just something that clicked one day & you went 'a-ha...yes, this fits' and you were off on the path?
I ask because I've been leaning in this direction for years but a few recent events just sort of caught my attention in my life & made me take notice that there may be a better way to live & react (or not react as the case may be) to the people & circumstances around me. I toss the word Zen around a bit sometimes - but lately I feel like I've been being a bit more centered & just letting things 'be' much more easily than I would in the past - and I'm not sure if this is an outgrowth of age or wisdom or both. Not sure if that makes much sense.
For example - I recently had a discussion with someone where I shared something with that person which had nothing to do with them personally - just a general comment on someone I admire and how I feel this individual is unfairly treated by the press and the general public. The individual in question got immediately defensive, inferring motive and that I was somehow saying THEY were being critical (this was via email) really got angry and vitriolic at me (this person doesn't know me well, mind you). And the response I got was basically 'I do not dislike said individual - I never said I did' - and they proceeded to list all the ways in which they couldn't stand that individual & their 'tremendous ego' and 'self-aggrandizing behavior' etc. Now it must be stated that the person in question HAD stated previously that they did NOT like the person in question -but that is besides the point - I let that slide. I just looked at the response & thought 'can they not see what they just wrote? How contradictory it is?' and found it interesting - the level of self-delusion. And I thought 'this is not someone I can have a rational discussion with about this matter - clearly.' (for the record we're not talking a 'hot topic' like politics or religion - it was a celebrity I mentioned....and I hadn't expected such a heated reply at all). I should add that said celebrity is a well known Buddhist & from their behavior & affect I've seen no such egotism or self-aggrandizing at all - quite the opposite. This was a huge clue that whatever was going on w/ this individual was their problem...and not a reflection of the person I mentioned.
And I sat back & said 'hmmm - wonder what that is about....whatever it's about - it has nothing to do with me - I spoke with kindness, said many good things to you today via email and you responded to NONE of that...you chose to respond with anger to something I did NOT even say. I don't understand the anger here....best to let them sort through it' - and I did not respond - I let it be. Now normally I'd have perhaps tried to understand where the person was coming from and then engaged them further. In this instance I realized that to engage them further would be of little use to either of us - and I had peace with that. I think the lesson I took away from it was that it was not my place to say they were wrong or had misunderstood me or had contradicted themselves or that I felt a bit taken aback by their anger. I just looked at it and said 'it will sort itself out - leave it alone - don't engage further.'. I felt like, for me, this was growth. Normally I would have engaged & I saw very clearly, in one instant, that any time in the past that I reacted to an individual who was spewing vitriol - it hadn't ended well and neither of us was the better for it. I have no idea if this is a Buddhist thing - but it felt intrinsically so - to let beings be as they are - not changing their nature - just letting them be.
O.k. - well maybe that was unclear or confusing - I do tend to ramble sometimes. Glad to be here & looking forward to learning more.
I couldn't possibly have looked through all the threads to see if this had already been asked - so forgive me if it has been...I have noticed there is an aversion to multiple threads on the same topic here - so apologies in advance if I've done that.
Peace - gundy
Comments
Welcome @gundicus, nice to meet you.
You may find this thread of interest.
As far as your example goes, I think right speech includes the notion that whatever we say should be helpful. So, yes, I think in some cases, we need to hold our tongues, and let people see their own faults with their assumptions, views etc.
There are a few "what brought you to Buddhism" types of threads, and there is a search at the top of the page but you'd have to know what keywords to search for which in this case could make it difficult!
Welcome
My first introduction to Buddhism was in a college World religions class. It was the most attention-grabbing part of the class for me, but was very brief and ill-described. After looking into it I came away with an idea that if life is nothing but suffering, Buddhism wasn't for me!
It wasn't until 15 years later that I started reading to actually understand what the suffering in Buddhism was about. My then-14 year old son got interested in it and I started reading to help explain it to him. My first book was The Heart of the Buddha's Teachings by Thich Nhat Hanh, and I took off from there. It was quite overwhelming at first but as soon as I got to the point of wanting to throw up my hands in frustration at it all, I saw a poster for a retreat in my tiny town with an actual Buddhist monk
I went to that retreat, and that monk has since become my teacher. I took my refuge vows with him 4 years ago and will take Bodhisattva vows with him sometime this winter.
I've been a lurker here for the past few weeks, and I guess I'll use this as my spot to dive in. I'll try to keep it relatively brief.
First, I like the question and thanks for sharing your experience. I've noticed similar tendencies within myself to dissociate from conversation and thoughts like the ones you mention since starting my journey into Buddhism. Good stuff.
For about 10 years, I suffered from what I'd classify as chronic generalized anxiety disorder and agoraphobia. I coped with it better during some periods of that time more so than others, but even in the "good" times it was something I dealt with in some shape, form or fashion on a daily basis. I tried different forms of therapy and medications but all were to no avail.
Things had flared back up for me about a year and a half ago and while reading a self help book, the author suggested creating a morning ritual which included some form of meditation. I dabbled in it briefly, didn't stick with it and my anxiety issues didn't really subside. Fast forward to about six months ago, somewhat randomly, I thought back to what I'd read about the morning rituals and meditation and decided to incorporate that back into my life, and make it a priority.
During my newfound meditation journey, I got the urge, again on a somewhat random thought, to begin to study a handful of the world's larger religions/belief systems. I read books on Taoism, Hinduism and lastly on Buddhism. I'd planned on continuing on to Judaism & Islam, but something couldn't let me move on from Buddhism. Not long after starting reading and studying (which mind you I haven't gotten very far), I've had what I can only describe as kind of a gradual and consistently intensifying "a-ha moment." It's pretty clear to me that from some unknown and deep level of consciousness, my being was on a search and found what it was looking for in Buddhism.
To tie back to my anxiety issues, since I started meditating and studying Buddhism, my anxiety has substantially improved and on most days, it's something that never crosses my mind. Now, I'm certainly not cured, and I recognize that there are going to be days ahead where the seas are going to be rougher and maybe even calmer, but I feel as though things are finally moving in the right direction.
Welcome @gundicus!
I am not sure why but about five years ago I picked up a book called "The Art of Happiness" by HHDL and Howard Cutler. It just totally resonated with me straight away and I have been practicing ever since.
I tried out Zen and Theravadan but settled on the Tibetan tradition a year or two ago.
Your anecdote sounds quite familiar. I have become better at just sitting and listening to someone, particularly when they're quite emotional. In the past, when people got emotional around me I just wanted to run away!
Best of luck on your journey. Hopefully you'll find this forum helpful.
@gundicus
Much of Buddhist Meditation is the process of observing phenomena arise, live and fade away as well as our conditioned impulses in regards to them.
Any conversation that comes up can reflect ones meditation by objectively observing our conditioned impulses with the same objectivity that we practice with in formal meditation, rather than mindlessly acquiescing to our own conditioned impulses to it..
Here, you have the chance to simply be present for the actual exchange instead of just reacting in accord to your own identity programming.
Here, beyond the limitations of your own self interests, skillful possibilities unfold.
What brought you to Buddhism & made you want to explore it?
If some cossetted ancient aristocrat (ShakyabootyMuni) can do it, anyone has a hope ...
And welcome to @njohnson12 as well!
Decades ago I was required to take some "distribution credit" classes outside my major, and I took a class on world religions. The text was by Huston Smith. What an amazing writer. He is at once passionate and analytical, and writes from a perspective of immersive and encyclopedic knowledge. This book planted the notion of respect for all religions (and points of view in all realms, for that matter).
I stumbled on a utube video featuring one of Alan Watts videos and was hooked on the thought provoking discussions... I didn't know at first that many of his ideas had Buddhist roots, as I had no clue what Buddhism was about.
Even though there are people who don't believe that Alan is a proper representative of Buddhism, I believe it is a decent starting point for someone who doesn't have a clue. It is what got me through the distasteful idea of wasting time on learning another old out dated "religion", to true enjoyment of learning to see things in a different way, with no obligations.
Story of my dharma life
For me it was the anatta-lakkhana sutta, I read it in I think late 2012.
Well said.
Helpful is skilful and silence often the noble [meaning higher] expression.
Expression is often how the least important aspect is given precedence. For example trivial popularists given precedence over experiental wisdom.
As a wisdom tradition, Buddhism has things I want to hear. Surprisingly that is despite the words, not in them ...
@gundicus
What brought me to Buddhism?
Suffering.
Ultimately, that is the most concise and correct answer I can give you. The road I actually travelled to get here is far less important, as such will be different for every person. The realization that suffering has cause, led to the search for remedy, which eventually led me here.
@gundicus
Hello! I'm also fairly new to the forum, I've been practicing on and off for about a year, and fairly steady since this summer.
I've had a fascination with all things religious studies for most of my adult life, but although I have a PhD, I've never formally studied religion in classes. I was raised in a Christian home, but just never felt "connected" to that faith. I consider myself an atheist, and I'm not taken to believing in the mystical or supernatural. I've had a deep respect for Buddhist philosophy for a long time. I can't say exactly what it was that made me want to give the practice a real try. Although Steven Batchelor's book "Buddhism without Beliefs" was an eye opener to me.
Perhaps it's just that I finally realized that I'm mortal and I'm suffering. There's not a thing I can do about that first condition, but maybe there's something I can do to alleviate the second. So far, Buddhist practice has been the most promising remedy to the second condition I've found.
My answer "peace." That is it. Nothing more, nothing less.