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Deciding what actions are skillful
followthepath
Explorer
Hello everyone. I am a new Buddhist and I am having trouble deciding whether some of my actions are skillful or unskillful. I know that any action that stems from greed, aversion or delusion is unskillful, but actions that stem from the antidotes are skillful. What I don't understand is the definition of greed.
If someone says something false about me and I try to correct them politely because I care about my reputation, is that unskillful?
If I see delicious food and I am not hungry, but I eat it anyway, is that acting out of greed?
If I choose to relax instead of completing my To Do list, is that acting out of greed or delusion?
Please help me. I am truly lost on this subject.
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Comments
Skillful action can itself be the home topic of meditation and mental inflexion.
Continued at http://www.buddhanet.net/wings_1a.htm
Anyway, this is a great topic, and I look forward to a thoughtfully slow and deliberate discussion of what helpful takeaways there can be in daily life.
Anything we do that gets us farther from freedom is unskillful and anything that gets us closer to freedom is skillful.
For me, it has boiled down to effectiveness. Of course, we know that causality is our benchmark, causality is our relative experience of life and persons and whatnot. But, beyond any individuality labels or matrices of experience, we know thanks to the four noble truths that there is freedom (3rd noble truth).
Anything we do that gets us farther from freedom is unskillful and anything that gets us closer to freedom is skillful.
So in understanding this and deciding this it is very important to apply ourselves at the roots of our ignorance. We can try and destroy all outside enemies, but Shantideva tells us that this will never work, they will simply multiply again and again, no end in sight. However, "conquer ones own anger and all enemies are slain."
Thus, what comes skillfully must attack at the root of ignorance, attachment, and aversion ... the hog is simply unaware... the rooster grabs and jumps at the snake, and the snake slithers and slides to avoid any inkling of danger. It's a wheel that goes round and round, pretty much by itself, and the Dharma, used like a pure mirror, can wipe away every blemish and stain that prevents us from understanding and experiencing reality as it is -- which is to say, as we are.
On a practical level, you're making the mistake my old Zen Teacher Young called "checking".
You're trying to check the motives of your actions, and that's an impossible task. I want to do something, but am I acting from selfish or unselfish motivation? If I have a few dollars in the bank, am I being selfish for not giving it to the needy? If I give something to the needy but enjoy it and I'm doing it to get good karma, am I being selfish?
You cannot divide your actions into selfish and nonselfish, or skillful and nonskillful, and always do one and not the other. Motivations in reality are not pure. They are a mix. Likewise the results of your actions, even well meaning, are mixed. You only tie your mind into knots by thinking you can anticipate what you should or should not do this way. That's checking.
As you learn to keep a calm mind and realize you are not your thoughts and not slave to your emotions, you will stop acting out of emotions like anger or jealousy. The meditation and calm mind has to come first. When you practice compassion then acting to hurt others out of selfish desire will stop. The compassion has to come first.
Thanks everyone. Cinorjer, your comment was especially helpful. Are you saying that I should stop trying to categorize actions as skillful or unskillful based on my intentions? It sounds like you're saying I should focus on meditation and calming my mind instead. If I understand you correctly, you're saying that as I practice calming my mind, I will get better at acting out of only non-greed, non-aversion and non-delusion.
In the past, I have tried to follow Theravada Buddhism, but maybe I'll look into Zen Buddhism as well.
@followthepath That is my advice from the Zen perspective. You have the Precepts to be a guide, so you do need to be mindful but it's a path of learning to act from a spontaneous, clear mind.
@followthepath
Zen Meditation is a process of learning how to stop feeding our identity's dream construct in this very nano second.
Why ruminate over the past gorging s of our identity when the only place you can actually ever address it's indulgences is in this very unfolding moment?
Skillful actions simply reflect the degree to which our identities dream is not presently being pandered to.
Here, skillful means will just manifest in the absence of our obstruction to it's truth rather than us looking for ways to personally wield them.
I've always liked this little description. Of course you can just substitute "verbal" with whatever else and it would be the same.
Your mind decides what is wise.
http://www.buddhanet.net/dhammapada/d_heed.htm
That being said I am humbled that my happiness for the evening is somewhat based on a particular football team winning the game in the last second. But I did do my meditation and prepared a good environment for my family and friends to share the day with me.
"Positive anything is better than negative nothing." ~Elbert Hubbard
(from the post above... empasizing the word ENERGY)
interesting that the scripture mentions energy. I feel it is part of the 'calculation' to be mindful of what helps you to 'energize'. A lot of people talk about energy in dharma talks and I will try to find what I looked at last night.
~ Zig Ziglar
Perhaps some examples:
Now you might realise everyone is greedy.
What is a gal to do?
What is your plan?
That would make sense because Zen is an offshoot of Theravada.
Although it may difficult for us to discern at times, the criteria is actually quite simple: if an action, whatever the motivation, leads to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both, then it's most likely unskillful; if it doesn't, then you're good (MN 61). The majority of the practice is all about growing our mindfulness and being more aware of what we're doing, why we're doing it, and what the results of our actions are, both in the short term and in the long term.
I'd just add that, out of the three examples given above, one appears to be skillful, one appears to be unskillful, and one is likely neutral. It's up to you to figure out which is which. Hint: lobha ≠ chandha.
I merely ask:
Is it necessary?
Is it kind?
Is it true?
These three caveats apply to the spoken word, but I see no reason why they should not also apply to what we think, and do.
It's pretty hard to be 100% truly skillful all the time. We make mistakes, and then we learn better ways.
Yes, you will get better and knowing the right thing to do when your mind is better calmed and operating from a different place. Always wonder what is right or wrong is just another extension of ego. If you are trying to figure it out, it's your ego wanting to know if it is doing everything right. When you operate from an open, compassionate, loving place instead, you don't have to wonder so much and the words you need come more naturally. You don't have to try to hard because you know what is needed.
The questions you asked, no one can answer because it varies based on situation and other things. And it might not be the same answer every time you encounter it. Sometimes it is appropriate to relax rather than work. Sometimes it's appropriate to speak up and sometimes it's not. You will learn what is skillful because you will approach everything from a more skillful place by training your mind and thus operating from your heart.
I am inclined to thinking that the word "skillful" would mean something that is good in the beginning, the middle, and end. Meaning that you should feel good about doing it, while carrying it out, and after you carry it out.
The examples of greed that you mentioned obviously would not bring good results if we have to question it again later. Greed and selfishness both stem from self clinging/attachment, and it definitely will not bring any good results in the end.
So how much ego is good enough to keep, and how much should be let go of? Perhaps a similar a question would be how much firewood is enough to keep warm? It really depends on how much we can carry and clean up after as well.
Buddha says they critisize who seats, they critisizes who stand ups, they critisizes them who walks and also critisizes who remains steal. There is nobody who is wholly admired or critised in this world. Many times people malign us proposely due to many reasons. If you behave responsibly then people will not give attention to those people which are maligning your reputation. Some times people may ask you explanation then only you may explain reality otherwise i don't think it is better to be furstrated.
Dalai lam says "Do not let behaviour of others to deatroy your inner peace."
Over eating is always bad. It will grow stomach and loss of shape and health of body. It will also make feel lazy and lack of self esteem.
If one eats delicious food at regular basis then we can eat in proper amount without having more greed to take overdose.
Relaxation is good but not at level that we might have trouble due to it. This habit may get converted to laziness.
The act which is not harmful for one and others might be a skillful action. But it needs lots of wisdom to know therefore it might called as skillful. In such case middle path is used and sometimes puting things in priority works great.
I dare say overthinking is a killer.
The nanosecond you squander pondering if your action is skillful or not, defeats the disinterested motivation of the action.
I can only repeat what has already been very well expressed by others above: that ideally a skillful action is an action which does not lead to self-affliction nor inflict suffering on other sentient beings.
But life is full of grey areas: we might find ourselves incurring seemingly skillful actions stemmed from the wrong motivations or performing unskillful ones with someone's welfare at the back of our minds.
Just plunge, live and do as much good as you can, for whatever reason.
Life is too short to keep tabs on whys and wherefores.
This is indeed a tough one!
Yesterday I had reason to complain about someone at work.
They're in a management position but, as far as I can see, don't accept all the responsibilities that come with that. Other people (including me) have had to cover for them in the past.
I ended up saying something to their manager in the end. I did have to question my motivation though due to the fact that I find them annoying. If I liked them as a person, would I have said something to their manager. Possibly not.......
Work situations can be really tough to deal with, stuck in close proximity with people who ordinarily you would have nothing to do with, some of them in positions of authority....