Another Situation
33_3
Veteran
My life is changing rapidly and I cannot seem to slow it down. I have developed dyspepsia and was told to get a feeding tube. The muscles in my throat have begun to grow weak. The doctors can not say why, other than it is Neurological.
I have decide not to add a feeding tube and go the thickened/pureed route. Add this to a back disability from 2013. I should greet each day with a "SMILE"...the whole Zen thing. But all Buddhist studies or interactions are on hold...
Things happen beyond my control sometimes that remind me I am Buddhist. Things that would have flipped me out 2 years ago. (Acid flash back stuff). Kinda like, "How can you be in two places at once when you are nowhere at all?"
I have turned my time to collecting records, jazz. Music.
I had enrolled in a class on Buddhism. Stopped.
Truth be told. My depression has taken over, again.
Oh well...It will be cool.
Comments
I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this @33_3 I also have multiple health issues, so I feel your pain.
Is there any specific reason you've stopped taking the class? It might be just the thing you need right now. The social interaction might help you to get through all this. And learning more about Buddhism seems like a worthwhile use of your time.
Best wishes going your way.
@33_3 I empathize with you. As an aging person, with health issues, I often contemplate what my decisions would be given certain outcomes. While it is just as unhealthy to dwell on such things, as the things dwelled upon, it is more than advisable to be aware and mindful of them and their possible affects. I too would opt for a more natural approach to my longevity in this body. It is, after all, impermanent. There is little sense in artificially prolonging one's own suffering, merely out of vanity or fear of death. You have my support and positive energy. Be well in all you do.
Thank you @33_3 for the update. Keep up your Buddhist interactions here!
OP, what doctors have you seen? Have you tried, and can you afford, a doctor who's off the insurance rolls, someone you have to pay out of pocket? The good ones can usually get to the bottom of difficult issues that the insurance-based docs are helpless with.
Dyspepsia is neurological? IDK, have you considered food allergies? Just a thought.
I have to use insurance. I have a GI, 2 neurologists, my GP, Speech and dietitian. It looks like it is not nero. As far as food, I really do not eat much. I am a vegetarian but had to add some dairy and sugar back in... I do protein drinks. I have no appetite.
I'm so sorry you are struggling, @33_3. One of the funny things about people is that we have a tendency to stay the same unless we put something into motion to interrupt it. Some people are always in motion and have to learn how to bring balance by slowing down and relaxing. Some are always at rest and have to bring balance by forcing themselves to become more active. When they find balance, they feel much better. Maybe each day, try to do one thing that you are resisting. Realize that your heart, your Buddha nature, needs it even if your brain is resisting. Meditate, revisit your class, maybe find a teacher to meet with, go to a support group. Resist the nature to let things lie the same so that you can find balance.
Just a thought, but perhaps the western style of medicine is not serving you well. Any time I talk to someone who has seen all sorts of doctors who have next to no answers and only invasive treatments to offer, I have to suggest they try something else. Try an ayurvedic practitioner. Many will do sliding scale payments if you ask them and are up front about your finances. Try accupuncture. Try something, anything, that might give you answers in another direction. Nutritionists are trained with information that the USDA approves, with much input from major food suppliers. They are often not the best source of good information about nutrition, especially because every body has individual needs and they are unable to assess for those needs. Others can. Nutrition has a HUGE impact on our bodies and over many years the impact can compile causing significant problems. But they can be improved.
Wishing you the very best.
Sorry to hear about your troubles. I wouldn't worry about being a Buddhist or any other labels, just use what helps day to day.
Firstly, I am sorry to hear about your struggles with health. Neurological issues are especially tricky because the root cause is difficult to pinpoint.
Secondly, don't worry about studying or "interacting" with Buddhism. Time to start the real meat of the practice, don't you think?
While I obviously have no clue what the doc's assessment was, if the OP's got a neurological dysfunction that causes his esophagus and GI tract to function improperly, then I don't see why indigestion couldn't occur.
Nearly everything in our anatomy is linked to the nervous system after all.
I am going to get a feeding tube this week. I changed the way I was looking at things,
Had my 6 month appointment with my cardiologist.
He is a special human being. Throughout my heart attack, back issues and
my dyspepsia he has truly cared about how I feel.
On Monday he suggested that a tube may be a good idea while we figure out what is going on as not to let my body get weak.
As he was listening to my chest he noticed the tattoo on the left side of my chest of Buddha. He asked why I got it. I told him that after the loss of my brother I started studying Buddhism. He listened as I told him what it has done for me. When I was done he told me he was Muslim. He said that times are hard right now but keeps positive by remembering that we all have the same DNA. We are all in the same God or what ever we choose to call the power. He then wished me luck in my studies and suggested I read the Coran, not abbreviated, rather the full version. His eyes smiled as he reached out and grabbed my hand. He told me to be well and hang in there...
Afterwards I decided to embrace the use of the feeding tube and do what I can to keep my body healthy. I feel rejuvenated.
A profound experience in an unlikely environment. We will forever be connected.
Doctors who really care deeply about people are not the majority, in my experience (I worked in health care for many years; my wife still does). Treasure this.
Be well.
I too was in health care for 12 years. I know. My GI is also a very caring person....not a westerner...
I posted several months ago I would not most until I could be positive, well it may be half positive? I have had my feeding tube since December and other issues has cropped up due to the tube like severe nerve pain around the stoma. When my shirt touches the button it is like a raw nerve. I am holding on to some resemblance of food, smoothies, yogurt and even some types of chece cake. But the recent pains with my tube caused my GI to say no more food. She pit me on two medications (Buspar and a nerve pain med). I tried them for 2days and said nope. I would rather have pain than to be drugged up. I did not tell her I stopped yet. I have new issues as well that I feel are related (GI does not). I get the chills/flu like symptoms out of nowhere. It knocks me out with fever for up to 5 hours then I am fine. Also when I consume any liquid or food my ears plug up. All my doctors say they do not know why?
I think everything is nerve related as far back as my back surgery in 2013. I am alone however in my diagnosis. Eastern Medicine would have improved my quality of life years ago. I am almost ready to deal with not being able to eat than put up with the pain.
The half positive is "quality of life."
I can only wish you well @33_3 and try to put into practice what you have learnt from your Buddhist class....
Much metta to you @33_3 .
_ /\ _
I don't really know what to say
However that will not stop me
As usual I will ask others to unleash their efforts and practices to send you goodwill, metta, the touch of the 'Medicine Buddha' etc.
Tayata Om Bhekandze Bekhandze Maha Bhekandze Bhekandze Randza Sumungate Soha
http://opcoa.st/0gW89-831b3
A family member of mine has a feeding tube for similar, esophageal weakness issues. He became extremely depressed after the insertion, but he hasn't had the pain issues like you are experiencing. They are sure it's nerve pain? My family member keeps getting thinner, not gaining any weight, despite the tube. My heart goes out to you, honey.
In time, I expect you will feel the pain less and become more and more accustomed to the reality of what's necessary.
You know how the docs say "honey consistency?" Have you tried just a spoonful of honey? goes down slow and sweet. Has much needed sugars.