Metta

David

I've often heard of metta being unconditional love for all beings.

In light of recent issues and the vague definition of "love" we can go by, would it be better described as an awareness of kinship?

Bunks

Why would you want to change the definition? People have been doing horrible things to each other since the beginning of time. If anything, recent events should be increasing our love and compassion for ALL beings.

Shoshin

@ourself said:
I've often heard of metta being unconditional love for all beings.

In light of recent issues and the vague definition of "love" we can go by, would it be better described as an awareness of kinship?

I 'think' I see where you're coming from...No doubt, subjectively we all have our take on what Metta means to us personally, and an awareness of kinship is as much an expression of an understanding of Metta as unconditional love is....They are the two sides of the same coin, equal in value, if spent wisely .....

Jeffrey

Maybe a tenderness?

Tony_A_Simien

I've often heard of metta being unconditional love for all beings.

Unconditional love in this case, is not to do with feelings or emotions driven by thoughts of good, bad, right, wrong, moral or otherwise. Those qualities all originate from conceptual thinking.

But instead refers to understanding others experientially as not being separate from ourselves.

If you know others as not being separate then natural selfless compassion will flow. It's not self centered. It has nothing to do with feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. Nothing to do with bringing joy to one's heart for a deed well done. It's natural action which originates prior to the conceptual thinking mind.

We simply do without a thought of it benefiting ourselves or the recipient. Assistance is needed and if one is in the position to assist one does. Natural compassion or metta is prior to the thinking mind.

This can be seen in animals who show compassion for others of a different species. It's natural and completely selfless.

Shoshin

I guess in a sense Metta's true expression is more in an action as opposed to a thought

"A single pair of hands at work is worth more than a billion clasped in prayer"

federica

@Tony_A_Simien said:

This is not the first time such an incident has occurred...

In fact, the above account in Tony's post, is also referred to in this Wikipedia article.

lobster

@ourself said:
I've often heard of metta being unconditional love for all beings.

That is an ideal and may not be in our repertoire.

In light of recent issues and the vague definition of "love" we can go by, would it be better described as an awareness of kinship?

That I feel is attainable as an awareness. However do we feel kinship towards terrorists?

Personally I feel kinship towards the most depraved as well as the 'most deserving' innocents.

Our emotive response is complex. I am repulsed by bestial, hateful activity or if somone spills my ambrosia. It may be difficult to extend metta to anything more than our favourite cookie.

We have to start the metta ripple effect from somewhere ...
http://www.mettainstitute.org/mettameditation.html

Today I was so grumpy, I could not even extend metta to my favourite doll ...

David

@Bunks said:
Why would you want to change the definition?

It's not a matter of me wanting to change anything, just saying how it may make more sense to some and asking if anyone agrees.

People have been doing horrible things to each other since the beginning of time. If anything, recent events should be increasing our love and compassion for ALL beings.

And you think recognizing our kinship would somehow diminish this?

lobster

@ourself @Bunks - you are dharmakins

and you both metta

In other words metta is a more intense form of kinship.

Be kind to each other - iz plan!

Bunks

@ourself said:

Perhaps I misunderstood your post - sorry.

Jeffrey

It's important to know that unconditional does not mean nonreactive or sensitive to your true feelings. You might not experience a particular feeling that lights up the category of love as you expect it. Your very experience of having difficulty loving does not negate unconditional love because if you work with whatever is there that itself is the meaning of unconditional. Opening to whatever is there is the meaning of unconditional and it is not 'pass/fail'.

Glow

@ourself said:
I've often heard of metta being unconditional love for all beings.

In light of recent issues and the vague definition of "love" we can go by, would it be better described as an awareness of kinship?

"Love" or even the more common "loving-kindness" is, in my opinion, too strong a translation for metta. In Pali, metta is closely related to the word mitta -- which means "friend." Pema Chodron translates it as "unconditional friendliness," which I think is a pretty good approximation. Another good translation is "goodwill" -- it is wishing good for another being. Thanissaro Bhikku wrote a whole essay on this topic. In it, he quotes the Cunda Kammaraputta Sutta, in which is found the original intention of metta:

He bears no ill will and is not corrupt in the resolves of his heart. [He thinks,] 'May these beings be free from animosity, free from oppression, free from trouble, and may they look after themselves with ease!'

The phrase "free from animosity" is important. When we cultivate metta for someone, we wish for them to be free from hatred. In Buddhism, we recognize hatred as a form of suffering. The people who commit or wish heinous acts against their fellow human beings are entrenched in a living Hell. We wish for them to be free from Hell.

Dhammika

Then, there is Thich Nhat Hanh's poem "Please Call Me by My True Names"," which calls for some pretty extraordinary compassion and metta. Here is an excerpt:

I am the child in Uganda, all skin and bones,
my legs as thin a bamboo sticks.
And I am the arms merchant,
selling deadly weapons to Uganda.

I am the twelve-year-old girl,
refugee on a small boat,
who throws herself into the ocean
after being raped by a sea pirate.
And I am the pirate,
my heart not yet capable
of seeing and loving.

I am a member of the politburo,
with plenty of power in my hands.
And I am the man who has to pay
his "debt of blood" to, my people,
dying slowly in a forced labor camp.

My joy is like Spring, so warm
it makes flowers bloom all over the Earth.
My pain is like a river of tears,
so vast it fills the four oceans.

Please call me by my true names,
so I can hear all my cries and laughter at once,
so I can see that my joy and pain are one.
Please call me by my true names,
so I can wake up
and the door of my heart
could be left open,
the door of compassion.

Full poem here:
http://www.julianmaddock.info/poetry/please-call-me-by-my-true-names.html

David

@Bunks said:

Hey, no worries. You had me confused there for a minute but that's not hard to do these days.

@Jeffrey; I see what you mean but I wasn't really meaning it's a view for those who have problems with unconditional love, it is only meant to add another subtle layer.

But I'm just thinking out loud and hoping for input.

Non-separation comes with it an implied kinship and so I thought maybe a subtle reminder of the logic behind compassion within the Metta practice could give it more strength in trying times.

@Lobster;

I admit that yes, I do feel a kinship with every living being including the ones doing harm. If I had to kill a terrorist to stop them I would but I would not stop loving them and would do it with a heavy heart.

Of course I would have to be there on the scene and not be dropping bombs out of planes.

@Glow and @Tony_A_Simien;

I agree with both of your posts.

@Dhammika;

That's still my favorite poem of all time and I don't usually have favorites of anything.

sova

@Bunks said:
Why would you want to change the definition? People have been doing horrible things to each other since the beginning of time. If anything, recent events should be increasing our love and compassion for ALL beings.

Ah you jewel! You are so right