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Prayers for dying pets?
I'm sorry...I know this has been addressed before...but I can't find it.
Can anyone tell me an appropriate prayer, or actions, to attend a dying pet?
Thank you.
Can anyone tell me an appropriate prayer, or actions, to attend a dying pet?
Thank you.
0
Comments
Palzang
I have no specific 'prayer' for such sad times. When one of my animal friends is dying, I try to spend as much time as I can with them, having ensured that they are suffering the least pain possible. If they can support stroking, I stroke. I also talk to them. I assure them that they are loved and that they have a special place in my loving memory. I 'remind' them (and myself, of course) of the life we have led together.
It's all I can do: stay near them as they enter the transition and welcome the dark.
Not much different from supporting dying human animals really.
I'm not sure whether Tibetan spirituality envisages benefit to dying animals in reciting verses from the Bardo Thodol but you may find it helps you, Harlan.
Oh, sorry...
Palzang
No apology needed. Thanks for the info.
I know intent is more important than words, but would like to say these correctly. Any audio links of such? My only connection other Buddhists and learning is the internet right now...so I'm very ignorant of correct practices. I woke the other night, and became aware that while I was sleeping with my kitty, my subconscious was repeating over and over: 'Om mani padme hum'. I figured I'd picked it up somewhere, and thought it might be a corruption of a proper prayer.
Thank you, again.
Hope that helps. Sorry for my lack of linguistics skills! Intention is more important than getting it exactly right though.
Palzang
So, last week we decided to stop some of the medications that were supposed to help...but which I felt were drugging him up badly (stopped eating, drinking, moving and unable to use the cat box). Since my husband is rabidly against my interest in Buddhism, I've secretly been praying for him. He is doing much better for the time being.
Thank you for asking.
Palzang
Hang in there!
Hugs,
Kim
The good thing: it has given me a focus for implementing Buddhism in my life.
Sorry to hear about your pet. I had to put my pug (picture shown here) to sleep about 3 weeks ago. We adopted him when he was pretty old (9 years), so we knew our time was pretty limited. Suddenly he started getting constant diarrhea and losing weight. We all thought it was bacteria, or parasites, or something, but after three months, and many medicines later, we narrowed it down to colon cancer.
By that point, he was really emaciated, and in a lot of pain, so we decided to put him to sleep. Like you, my wife had a dream about our dog, and he said "I hurt", so that was sign. Then he just stopped eating and just laid in bed for days before we took him in.
Putting our dog to sleep was really, really heart-breaking, but it was clear he had very little time left. It still really hurts to think about it, especially since I feel guilty for having put him to sleep. Still, it taught me two things:
1. To cherish the time we have with loved ones because it really is short (one might even say impermanent...)
2. What I did, I did out of compassion. It doesn't make it easy by any means, but I am glad we could put him to sleep when we did and the way we did.
I really feel for you and the time you're going through. I hope you and your dog both find peace in the end.
P.S. In regards to prayers, I did teach my dog the "nembutsu" which is somethiing found in Japanese Shin Buddhism. I think I once tried to teach the Heart Sutra too. I don't know how much good it does, but I figure maybe it will have some kind of positive influence on his life, whereever, whatever it is now.
I assume it's some kind of remission, and that he will take a downturn at some point. Until then...I'll keep praying.
Thank you, guys, for the support.
My heart goes out to you! I recently had a cat die and I was with her during the process (we didn't put her down, just let nature take her course) and it was my first experience with death up close. It was quite an experience and I went through a whole gamut of emotions. It was difficult but worth it in the end.
It's heartbreaking to watch an animal friend go through any kind of suffering much less the suffering of the ending of his/her life. If you're able to let nature take her course it could be a win win situation for both of you because you will have experienced something we in the West rarely allow ourselves to and he may die in the best way he can, karmically speaking. But if you feel the need to put him to sleep at some point you will still have had the experience with death that we need. On the surface this kind of situation can seem so brutal and painful, so heartbreaking. And it is. But when you look a little deeper you'll see the workings of reality more clearly which will be of the greatest benefit to you. Try to relax into the pain and allow it to run its course because it will be temporary but the benefits of experiencing it will not.
I'm sending you all my love and I'll be thinking of you often as you go through this experience. Even though it sucks so badly there is good to be had as well.
All my love,
Boo
I've been taught to let nature take its course because in the big picture that's going to be best for the being in question. It's difficult, very difficult, I know, but I think you have to back off a little and look at the overall effect of your actions. Better, I would say, to make the pet as comfortable as possible while going through the process.
Palzang
I don't pass by suffering. Should I have let the animal die on the street? Should I currently withhold medicine, or food and water if it can't feed it's self? NO. It's my job to alleviate suffering.
Palzang
What other suffering is there for an animal?
Palzang
I don't understand. Why is it so important to let someone suffer in order to "work out their karma" than to help them?
There's enough negative karma built up over one's lives that it probably can't be worked out even under the most painful of circumstances. Negative karma and suffering are just a part of life.
I think true compassion has to look beyond metaphysical issues, and simply inspire people to help others in pain, without hesitation or calculation. Based on what's taught in the Diamond Sutra, I believe this is the case. "After the Bodhisattva has saved all beings, he does not think he has saved a single one." There's no calculation in true compassion. You just help people when they're suffering.
Please trust me in that having been through what I have, I know I made the right decision. Euthanasia sucks, but please know it was right decision for me. If I incurred any negative karma, so be it.
Palzang
Palzang
Regards
Perhaps you recall the story of the Buddha suffering a headache. One
of his disciples asked how could he, an enlightened being, suffer physical discomfort in this way. The Buddha explained that it was simply a karmic ripening from a time when he was not yet enlightened - a much more benign ripening than might ordinarily be experienced as I think it had to do with killing, but a ripening nonetheless.
Palzang
Palzang
It is indeed a bit confusing for me, since an Arhant does not produce Karma anyways any more, so his suicide would not have karmic consequences at all, i.e. not lead to a new birth. From what i read, suicide was not recommended, not usual, but happend ocassionally even among arhants. When we talk about karma, i think it is safe to say that there is a difference between killing out of compassion and out of ill will.
Regards
I mean...I've read about these holy men in Japan who basically committed suicide by starving themselves to death. The whole...go down to one grain of rice a day thing. These guys were venerated. But it is still suicide...holy or not.
When is death not death?
Yes, of course motivation matters, but the karma of killing is still killing, even if it's inadvertent (like killing bugs with your car as you drive). You can't, of course, live in the world without killing, but you do want to limit it as much as possible.
Palzang
Not killing people because it will land you in jail for life isn't really much of a motivation. It works (for most people), but the real reason you don't want to kill people is because of the Buddha's teaching on the preciousness of human rebirth. Only as a human can one practice the Dharma and escape the Wheel of Cyclic Existence. That's why it's such heinous karma to kill a human, even a demonic horror like Sadaam Hussein. According to the Buddha's teaching, it takes tons of merit to even be born a human, much less be born in a time when the Dharma is extant, where you have an opportunity to hear and practice the Dharma, and you have all faculties needed to practice it.
If you kill a sentient being to alleviate their suffering, you are interrupting the stream of their karmic ripening. As I said, karma is exacting. It's like energy - it will play out completely at some time when the conditions are right. So you can't "save" a being from the results of its karma. The only karma you have control over is your own, and even then it's more in the sense of avoiding creating negative karma than "fixing" negative karma you've already accrued. For example, let's say it's someone's (or something's) karma to be killed, and it's your karma to kill that being. If you refrain from killing that being, however, you interrupt the cycle of karma - essentially putting an end to it. So that's why it's important to put the Buddha's teachings into practice because you can stop creating the karma that keeps you bound to cyclic existence and instead begin to create the karma that will free you from it.
Palzang
Another time the same ani went to the doctor, and he discovered an aortic aneurysm in her abdomen. So she was rushed to surgery where they had to do an aortic graft post haste. Obviously Jetsunma and all of us were praying hard for her and dedicating whatever scraps of merit we could generate to her health. She did survive the surgery (barely) and has now more or less completely recovered - still working her butt off 18+ hours a day despite being told to slow down! Jetsunma told her afterwards (long afterwards ,thank goodness) that she had actually died on the table during the surgery and that the karma for causing her death had been there, but the force of the merit being generated for her had brought her back.
So yeah, to a degree karma can be purified or at least mitigated. It's a wonderful experience to actually see it happen, like in the examples above, and it's something I've had the great privilege to see happen many times in our sangha. But still, all the same, everyone will one day die. That's life in samsara!
Palzang
But, I can understand completely why others would want to put an end to the suffering of their animal friends and I don't even know if I'm going to have the strength to watch another one of my cats die in front of me. I don't know. I just don't know. I want to do what's best for them in the long run. I love them so much. I don't want to interfere in the working through of their karma and I want to be able to view the whole thing with equanimity but it's so hard. Emotionally, though, it's been easier to let Samantha go than it has the other ones, especially the ones who were given the needle when I wasn't there.
Thank you Palzang, and everyone for your thoughts on this. It's a heart wrenching issue, that's for sure.
Harlan, those "cat kisses" are the sweetest thing I've ever heard.
Palzang
Palzang
When she died (6 a.m. on Sunday morning), the doctor came out immediately and the undertaker when I had washed and laid out her body. It was taken next door and returned to us, in a coffin, on Monday afternoon. The coffin was placed on trestles in our livingroom, lid loosely laid on top. There it stayed until the funeral the following Saturday.
A moment of semi-hysterical laughter eripted the first time we took the lid off and looked at her body. We had supplied a favourite dress and there it was but her hair....! And bigmouth me says: "She wouldn't be seen dead with her hair back like that!" Collapse all round. So we did her hair as it she be done.
Having attended far too many funerals, I had come to the conclusion that the modern process is calculated to shock. What usually happens is that the body is taken away and then, after some days, a wooden box is produced in church or wherever. This time, the coffin had become familiar, and familiarity breeds acceptance. There were even coffee mug rings among the candlewax marks.
Jack was 9 at the time and took great pride in showing his dead mother to his friends. Only one parent complained and I gave her short shrift, particularly as she declares herself to be deeply Christian.
Nothing is quite so helpful in the process of grief as to witness, with one's own eyes, the gentle dissolution of even a body part-embalmed. Not even my assisting my father in his path lab with his Home Office forensic work was of as much benefit as those days and nights where we watched, prayerful, tearful or even just sleepy, by the body of a person who was so loved and so loving.
P.S. In one row, she had burned a favourite pair of my shoes on a bonfire so we put her favourites in there with her, along with other grave goods. Funny how times change: as an archaeologist, I was taught to recognise a Christian grave because it had no grave goods whereas pagan graves do!
To most people, Brigid, you're right, it does sound like a very strange, even ghoulish thing to do, but in Tibetan Buddhism it's considered quite normal. In the old days, when "sky burials" were more common, or when the great charnel grounds of India still existed, chod practitioners would practice in the midst of death and gore in order to help them release attachment to their own bodies.
As for what to do with a body after death, for me, cremation is the best. I was so happy that both my parents decided, quite on their own, on that route. They didn't want any funeral or anything like that, nor the massive funeral bills that come with it. Cremation is also the method used for lamas when they die (in Tibet, most people practiced sky burial in the old days - cutting up the bodies and grinding the bones into dust for the vultures to feast on). I personally like the idea of returning the elements to nature quickly, rather than rotting in a box in the ground.
Tibetan Buddhists also believe that the body should not be touched after death for a period - 3 days if possible, other than the usual washing and things. And when someone is dying, it's best not to touch them except for tugging gently on the hair at the top of the head. It is taught that the consciousness leaves the body at the time of death through one of the gateways of the body, and the best one to leave through is the crown chakra at the top of the head. That will lead to an auspicious rebirth, whereas leaving through one of the other orifices, like the anus, for example, could result in a lower rebirth. Not easy to do in our culture, I know, but something to keep in mind.
Palzang
Thank you both.
Point well taken. One can certainly argue that's it never good to kill anything, let alone someone you love. I wonder though if it can be considered the only reasonable option remaining. I think that's what I felt at the time I had to put my dog to sleep. Arguably, it would unquestionably lead to bad karma, but I felt at the time that I'd rather ease his suffering than avoid the karma.
If it were my mother, I probably would end her suffering if she requested. However, can a dog request euthansia? No, and that's where the solution isn't so clear.
Food for thought. Sorry for the misunderstanding earlier.
Amen to that. My mother (speaking of cancer) was in the hospital many times due to breast cancer, and I always found that hospitals reminded me of important truths such as impermanance and compassion for the suffering.
Your background as an autopsy assistant reminds me of a Shin Buddhist book by a gravedigger who talks about similar topics, and the things he came to realize while tending to the dead. Sadly I can't remember the title. Anyways, I hear lots of praise for the book, so if anyone finds it, feel free to give it a read.
Palzang
According to traditional stories of the life of the Buddha, he first decided to leave his home and seek enlightenment after encountering the “four sights” – (1) a sick person, (2) an old person, (3) a corpse, and (4) a world renouncer. The first three epitomize the sufferings to which ordinary beings are subjects and the last indicates that one can transcend them through meditation and religious practice. The greatest problem of all is death, the final cessation of all our hopes and dreams, our successes and failures, our loves, hates, worries, and plans.
From its inception, Buddhism has stressed the importance of death, since awareness of death is what prompted the Buddha to perceive the ultimate futility of worldly concerns and pleasures. Realizing that death is inevitable for a person who is caught up in worldly pleasures and attitudes, he resolved to renounce the world and devote himself to finding a solution to this most basic of existential dilemmas. After years of diligent and difficult practice he became enlightened, and through this he transcended death. His life provides his followers with a model to emulate, and even today Buddhist teachers strongly advise their students to meditate on death and impermanence, since they are powerful counteragents to short-sighted concern with the present life and one's own transitory happiness. Buddhist teachers also point out that according to tradition Buddha began his teaching career discussing death and impermanence in his first sermon on the four noble truths, and he also ended his career with teachings on death and impermanence, which indicates how important they are in Buddhist teaching and practice.
Tibetan Buddhism places a particularly strong emphasis on instructions concerning death, and Tibetan literature is full of admonitions to be aware of the inevitability of death, the preciousness of the opportunities that a human birth presents, and the great value of mindfulness of death. A person who correctly grasps the inevitability, of death becomes more focused on religious practice, since he or she realizes that death is inevitable, the time of death is uncertain, and so every moment counts.
An example of this attitude can be found in the biography of Milarepa, who began his meditative practice after having killed a number of people through black magic. The realization of his impending death and the sufferings he would experience in his next lifetime prompted him to find a lama who could show him a way to avert his fate. His concern with death was so great that when he was meditating in a cave his tattered clothes fell apart, but he decided not to mend them, saying, “If I were to die this evening, it would be wiser to meditate than to do this useless sewing.”
This attitude epitomizes the ideal for a Buddhist practitioner, according to many teachers. Atisha is said to have told his students that for a person who is unaware of death, meditation has little power, but a person who is mindful of death and impermanence progresses steadily and makes the most of every precious moment. A famous saying of the school he founded, the Kadampa, holds that if one does not meditate on death in the morning, the whole morning is wasted, if one does not meditate on death at noon, the afternoon is wasted, and if one does not meditate on death at night, the evening is wasted.
In stark contrast to this attitude, most people frantically run after transitory pleasures and material objects, foolishly believing that wealth, power, friends, and family will bring lasting happiness. This is particularly prevalent in western cultures, which emphasize superficial images of happiness, material and sensual pleasures, and technological innovation as avenues to fulfillment. We are taught to crave such things, but inevitably find that the wealthy and powerful die just as surely as the poor and powerless. We try to cover up the signs of aging through cosmetics and surgery, and we attempt to hide the reality of death by putting makeup on corpses to make them appear “lifelike.” We are even taught to avoid discussion of death, since this is seen as being inappropriate in polite company and overly morbid. Instead, people tend to focus on things that turn their attention from death and surround themselves with images of superficial happiness.
As Dr. Richard Kalish states,
“Death is blasphemous and pornographic. We react to it and its symbols in the same way that we react to pornography. We avoid it. We deny it exists. We avert our eyes from its presence. We protect little children from observing it and dodge their questions about it. We speak of it only in whispers. We consider it horrible, ugly and grotesque.”
From its inception, Buddhism has taken a far different course. Anyone who has studied with a Tibetan lama has been regularly reminded of the importance of mindfulness of death. Teachings on death and impermanence are found in every facet of Tibetan Buddhist teaching, and any student who tries to overlook them is soon reminded that dharma practice requires a poignant awareness of death. Buddhist teachings emphasize the idea that although one's destiny is always influenced by past karma, every person has the ability to exercise free will and influence the course of both life and death. We all shape our own destinies, and in every moment there are opportunities for spiritual advancement. According to many Buddhist texts, death presents us with a range of important possibilities for progress.
Meditation on Death
Buddhist meditation texts point out that we have ample evidence of death all around us, since everything is changing from moment to moment. A person wishing to ponder death need not go to a cemetery or a funeral home: death is occurring everywhere and at all times. Even the cells of our bodies are constantly being born and dying. All of us are inexorably moving toward physical death in every moment. Since every created thing is impermanent, everything we see, hear, touch, taste, love, despise, or desire is in the process of dying. There is nothing to hold onto, nothing that remains unchanged from moment to moment, and so anyone who tries to find happiness among transient created things is doomed to disappointment.
This transiency is the reason why we are prone to unhappiness and suffering, since everything we desire eventually breaks down, and we often have to put up with things that we find unpleasant. Impermanence is also essential for liberation, since the constant changing nature of cyclic existence makes progress possible. Every moment presents opportunity to train the mind in the direction of enlightenment, and since there is no fixed element to personality, every person is constantly engaged in the process of becoming something else. We do, of course, tend to fall into patterns of behavior, and it is all too easy to become caught up in negative patterns, but since every moment is a rebirth, there is always an opportunity to initiate change. A wise person, according to Chagdud Tulku Rinpoche, understands the imminence of death and plans ahead.
Warned of a hurricane, we don’t wait until the storm pounds the shore before we start to prepare. Similarly, knowing death is looming offshore, we shouldn’t wait until it overpowers us before developing the meditation skills necessary to achieve the great potential of the mind at the moment of death.
Each moment is said to give us a glimpse of the bardo (bar do, antarabhava), the intermediate state between death and rebirth, since every moment of mind passes away and is replaced by a successive moment. Reflection on one’s own mental processes graphically indicates the fleeting nature of consciousness: thoughts flow along in unending succession, each one giving way to its successor. Thoughts and emotions change in response to our experiences and perceptions, and even our most cherished ideas and aspirations are subject to change. Thus, for a person who has awareness of death, every moment becomes a lesson in death and impermanence.
Our dreams also provide an opportunity for mindfulness of death. In Tibetan Buddhist death literature it is said that at the moment of falling asleep one experiences a moment of clear light like the one that arises at the time of death. Moreover, the dream state is like the bardo, since in dreams one often conceives of oneself in a body and undergoes vivid experiences that are creations of mind, just as beings in the bardo do. Waking from a dream is similar to rebirth, since the illusory dream body passes away and we awaken to a new “reality.” Because of these similarities, dream yoga is said to be an important method for gaining control over the production of mental images, a skill that is extremely useful in the bardo.
How to Develop Mindfulness of Death
A person wishing to develop mindfulness of death should first cultivate awareness of its inevitability. Everyone who has ever lived has died, and there is no reason to suppose that anyone presently alive will be able to escape death. Even the buddhas, bodhisattvas, and Buddhist saints of the past have all died, and so it should be clear to a person who thinks on this that the same fate awaits us all.
This understanding should not result in passivity, resignation, or morbidity; rather, it should spur us to greater diligence in religion practice. Every moment should be viewed as being infinitely precious, and we should make the utmost effort to use our time to the best advantage.
After making this decision, the meditator considers the uncertainty of the time of death and decides that it might occur at any moment, which should lead to a resolve to begin practicing dharma immediately. Practice should not be put off until the future, but should begin right now. A person who thinks, “I’ll wait until the children are grown,” “After I finish this semester I’ll begin meditating,” or “I just don't have enough time right now,” will probably never get around to meditation, and even if he does, meditation will most likely be halfhearted. A person who wishes to make real progress must feel a strong, sense of urgency, like a person caught in a burning house looking, for a way out.
The next stage in this process is coming to understand that at the time of death only spiritual accomplishments will be of any worth. Material possessions, friends and relatives, worldly acclaim and power all vanish at the time of death, leaving nothing behind. None of these can be carried over into the next life. Moreover, one’s future birth will be determined by one’s actions in this life, and so one should resolve to practice meditation and other religious activities diligently.
It is also important not to think that in one’s next lifetime one will necessarily be born as a human. According to Buddhist teachings on rebirth, a human life is very rare, and it is much more likely that one will be born in some other life situation, and if this happens one’s chances for becoming aware of the problems of cyclic existence and seeking a solution are greatly diminished. Humans are uniquely situated in cyclic existence: we are intelligent enough to recognize the problems and sufferings of cyclic existence (unlike lower types of beings such as animals), and we are not so overwhelmed by either suffering or happiness that we are blinded to the realities of cyclic existence. A person who understands this situation should become keenly aware of death and resolve to “extract the essence” of the present life.
from Chapter 10 of An Introduction to Tibetan Buddhism, by John Powers, Snow Lion Publications, 1995.
If I can add some perspective on this, I think Buddhism stresses the importance of death, but of life as well.
I read a really good book on the Hua-Yen school of Buddhism, which was a major school of philosophy in Tang Dynasty China. The Hua-Yen school really, really emphasized the teachings of the Avatamsaka Sutra ("The Flower Garland" sutra) and Emptiness.
What was interesting though was how they were able to take something like Emptiness and emphasize the interdependence of all things. They see it as not just simply lacking something (permanent identity) but rather they emphasized the dynamic nature of Emptiness.
Later East Asian schools of Buddhism continued with this idea. Shingon Buddhism, another esoteric Buddhist school, emphasizes the potential of Buddhahood within you. As you become a light for others, this helps all beings because we are interdependent. As a Shingon monk I know said, "When you smile, the world smiles."
In the Jodo Shinshu (Shin Buddhism) school, which focuses on humility and gratitude, there's a lot of emphasis on how we live through the compassion of others, not the least of which is Amida Buddha. Because we are interdependent, the kindness and compassion of others helps us through our journey, and realizing this helps one be grateful for life. This gratitude in turn becomes compassion toward all living things, and leads us further down the path.