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@Steve_B said:
Yes, I can picture it: Mingle as an endorphinated happy dolphin, long hair flowing, bottle of Pinot in one fin, didgeridoo in the other, tears of joy freely flowing, female dolphins podding (not flocking, you see, because they're dolphins).
I love happy endings.
Did you know dolphins like to get high? There are these fish/crab things that release this liquid when tipped over that gets them on the stairway to heaven.
@TheBeejAbides said:
Your Big Long Cry is coming. You sound very similar to me before i crack open and let it rip. I'm also a 27+10 year old straight man, and i've been having this crop up again lately. And i've had some good ones... and guess what? They are really just the start of you allowing yourself to feel again. You've been successfully avoiding somethings. You are starting to see that its not helping you. I will suggest that you get a real chiropractic massage and see if someone else can't help surface this stuff. But be warned---> it gets to be a bumpy ride after the juices start flowing. Talk it out. And not just on here. Use actual audible words that you and someone else can hear. It will help you feel what you need to feel. Whatever it is you've been ducking i can assure you that you aren't the only one that has held shit in, only to explode one day in a well-spring of emotions.
Massage, exercise and make 1 consumptive change in your routine. Eventually, you're gonna cry so hard that your young teen self will be proud. Good luck.
Dude this post resonated with me.
I am going through a weird phase atm. I feel like things are stirring up within me. Can't stop listening to soppy music like Celene Dion and Avril Lavigne (love her a bit too much) her music just paints a picture for me and I kinda wish I had a girl like her. There is no "machoness" to be found with me lately. I get these little bursts of deep emotions, like the feeling just seems so much deeper. Somehow a joke seems that little bit funnier, when someone waves at me I feel this happiness and validation then feel glad that this person knows me and acknowledges me . I was even close to tearing up (i think)yesterday, because there is someone who I have recently felt a bond with and it has brought me hope of a deeper and more meaningful life then what im used to and with it fear of the future . Then I deny it, then want those feelings to come back and hope its not all just a phase then I just kind of snap out of it all and think that I'm being silly. I have lost my appetite as well, I thought it was a hangover thing but that was like 5 days ago now. I also find myself wanting to get drunk when i'm really happy too and I have stopped caring about things I used to care about.
Its all just weird man. As you can tell I have been making some pretty odd posts as well lately.
Just seems like things are bubbling up below the surface. I hope it's a good thing, atm I don't know what to make of it though.
I also have a decreased desire for sex but actually that feels like a really good thing. I'm enjoying that.
Perhaps we are all extreme adventure seekers. Most of us spend time in cars every day. And if we don't, most of us spend time on bike, on foot or on the bus where there is traffic. Little riskier in the world than millions of people in 5000 pound hunks of metal hurling towards each other all day long.
I used to hold things in a great deal when I was younger (Your age), I had a great deal of tragedy in my life early on. I used to think "I need to be strong" because that is what I was told and conditioned to think. I began to think that because of all these "things" that had happened to me I had become numb. I carried stuff around with me for years and years.
Then I read an article (can't remember by who - wish I could) that really hit home.
Basically it said something along the lines of ....It takes more strength to be able to openly express and confront your emotions than to hold them in, and if you want to cry...then cry...what are you afraid of?
It might have just been the right timing for me, but it made me realize the truth there.
To this day if I get overloaded, sad, frustrated, happy even I just let myself feel it. I might go into a room and start writing about what is going on, or just sit and "feel" what is bothering me. I have a good cry, and wipe the tears away when I am done.
Feels like getting out of a hot shower after a good workout!
I used to hold things in a great deal when I was younger (Your age), I had a great deal of tragedy in my life early on. I used to think "I need to be strong" because that is what I was told and conditioned to think. I began to think that because of all these "things" that had happened to me I had become numb. I carried stuff around with me for years and years.
Then I read an article (can't remember by who - wish I could) that really hit home.
Basically it said something along the lines of ....It takes more strength to be able to openly express and confront your emotions than to hold them in, and if you want to cry...then cry...what are you afraid of?
It might have just been the right timing for me, but it made me realize the truth there.
To this day if I get overloaded, sad, frustrated, happy even I just let myself feel it. I might go into a room and start writing about what is going on, or just sit and "feel" what is bothering me. I have a good cry, and wipe the tears away when I am done.
Feels like getting out of a hot shower after a good workout!
It's hard though. Really hard. I just think way to much. I don't I don't know how to just let myself feel.
0
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
Don't even try. There is no 'how'. Just notice thoughts as they come up and see what they say.
The more you try the harder you fail.
3
SarahTTime ... space ... joySouth Coast, UKVeteran
edited September 2016
I hardly cried at all when my sister died. I just felt grateful I had known her longer than anyone else - my parents had not known her once she grew up and left home but I was the one she came to with questions she couldn't ask anyone else. I cry the odd tear at things that are beautiful - it tends to be my test of beauty. But I bawled when told by an NHS doctor in the emergency suite that I had been institutionally let down. I had sought help from police, the legal services and the health service. I had ended up being sectioned (committed) because I was told it was "not a matter of life or death". Being forbidden from caring for my children by the courts WAS a matter of life or death for me. But I needed someone else to acknowledge this before I could cry.
Now, I go through months when not only am I emotionally numb but also physically numb. I have not been here for a long, long time but @Mingle, I am so grateful for your post as it is what I needed to see.
I feel emotions WAY more strongly than most people but didn't realise this until my late 20s/early 30s when my sister explained it to me. I just assumed that everyone felt emotions like I did. In Italy they seemed to! Yet my mother told me I was melodramatic, compared me with Sarah Bernhardt. My emotions matter to me - they tell me what needs to be pruned from my life and where I need to grow. When I can't feel them, I am lost.
I don't think it matters whether I cry or not - it is a pretty exhausting past time - but it DOES matter to me that I know what my emotions are and understand them. Initially, I found it helpful to have a list of emotions and try to match the label to where I was. Often it was no more than "numb" but things such as gratitude and frustration started to crop up.
Sometimes there is nothing I can do except acknowledge that I am attached to something in a very non-Buddhist way and am willing to feel the pain - eg of not being allowed to be with my daughter. But usually there is some attachment I can work on letting go of or some joy I can acknowledge - the constantly changing sky, the serendipity of finding threads like this, the total abandonment of my dog sprawled out on the sofa with no thoughts to how much of himself he exposes. He doesn't have this conditioning, he can be himself at home. It's only when he goes out that he has to be cautious of other dogs/humans.
Bit of a stream of consciousness, sorry @Mingle, but thank you for posting
@SarahT said:
I hardly cried at all when my sister died. I just felt grateful I had known her longer than anyone else - my parents had not known her once she grew up and left home but I was the one she came to with questions she couldn't ask anyone else. I cry the odd tear at things that are beautiful - it tends to be my test of beauty. But I bawled when told by an NHS doctor in the emergency suite that I had been institutionally let down. I had sought help from police, the legal services and the health service. I had ended up being sectioned (committed) because I was told it was "not a matter of life or death". Being forbidden from caring for my children by the courts WAS a matter of life or death for me. But I needed someone else to acknowledge this before I could cry.
Now, I go through months when not only am I emotionally numb but also physically numb. I have not been here for a long, long time but @Mingle, I am so grateful for your post as it is what I needed to see.
I feel emotions WAY more strongly than most people but didn't realise this until my late 20s/early 30s when my sister explained it to me. I just assumed that everyone felt emotions like I did. In Italy they seemed to! Yet my mother told me I was melodramatic, compared me with Sarah Bernhardt. My emotions matter to me - they tell me what needs to be pruned from my life and where I need to grow. When I can't feel them, I am lost.
I don't think it matters whether I cry or not - it is a pretty exhausting past time - but it DOES matter to me that I know what my emotions are and understand them. Initially, I found it helpful to have a list of emotions and try to match the label to where I was. Often it was no more than "numb" but things such as gratitude and frustration started to crop up.
Sometimes there is nothing I can do except acknowledge that I am attached to something in a very non-Buddhist way and am willing to feel the pain - eg of not being allowed to be with my daughter. But usually there is some attachment I can work on letting go of or some joy I can acknowledge - the constantly changing sky, the serendipity of finding threads like this, the total abandonment of my dog sprawled out on the sofa with no thoughts to how much of himself he exposes. He doesn't have this conditioning, he can be himself at home. It's only when he goes out that he has to be cautious of other dogs/humans.
Bit of a stream of consciousness, sorry @Mingle, but thank you for posting
@SarahT said:
I hardly cried at all when my sister died. I just felt grateful I had known her longer than anyone else - my parents had not known her once she grew up and left home but I was the one she came to with questions she couldn't ask anyone else. I cry the odd tear at things that are beautiful - it tends to be my test of beauty. But I bawled when told by an NHS doctor in the emergency suite that I had been institutionally let down. I had sought help from police, the legal services and the health service. I had ended up being sectioned (committed) because I was told it was "not a matter of life or death". Being forbidden from caring for my children by the courts WAS a matter of life or death for me. But I needed someone else to acknowledge this before I could cry.
Now, I go through months when not only am I emotionally numb but also physically numb. I have not been here for a long, long time but @Mingle, I am so grateful for your post as it is what I needed to see.
I feel emotions WAY more strongly than most people but didn't realise this until my late 20s/early 30s when my sister explained it to me. I just assumed that everyone felt emotions like I did. In Italy they seemed to! Yet my mother told me I was melodramatic, compared me with Sarah Bernhardt. My emotions matter to me - they tell me what needs to be pruned from my life and where I need to grow. When I can't feel them, I am lost.
I don't think it matters whether I cry or not - it is a pretty exhausting past time - but it DOES matter to me that I know what my emotions are and understand them. Initially, I found it helpful to have a list of emotions and try to match the label to where I was. Often it was no more than "numb" but things such as gratitude and frustration started to crop up.
Sometimes there is nothing I can do except acknowledge that I am attached to something in a very non-Buddhist way and am willing to feel the pain - eg of not being allowed to be with my daughter. But usually there is some attachment I can work on letting go of or some joy I can acknowledge - the constantly changing sky, the serendipity of finding threads like this, the total abandonment of my dog sprawled out on the sofa with no thoughts to how much of himself he exposes. He doesn't have this conditioning, he can be himself at home. It's only when he goes out that he has to be cautious of other dogs/humans.
Bit of a stream of consciousness, sorry @Mingle, but thank you for posting
In love.
The not being able to care for your children must suck. How does one get over such an attachment?
I'm going through something similar (don't wanna give too much info though) but by all means not the same level. That feeling though when you have such love for someone and it's not reciprocated is tough. I thought perhaps it was but It turned out to be just wishful thinking.
It does beckon the question though "where do I go from here?"
0
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
You don't need to go anywhere. You just need to evaluate your own desire to progress, improve, modify, change or perfect.... You go to 'you'....
Comments
Did you know dolphins like to get high? There are these fish/crab things that release this liquid when tipped over that gets them on the stairway to heaven.
Don't spend the whole time playing though, have a porpoise in life.
This
Dude this post resonated with me.
I am going through a weird phase atm. I feel like things are stirring up within me. Can't stop listening to soppy music like Celene Dion and Avril Lavigne (love her a bit too much) her music just paints a picture for me and I kinda wish I had a girl like her. There is no "machoness" to be found with me lately. I get these little bursts of deep emotions, like the feeling just seems so much deeper. Somehow a joke seems that little bit funnier, when someone waves at me I feel this happiness and validation then feel glad that this person knows me and acknowledges me . I was even close to tearing up (i think)yesterday, because there is someone who I have recently felt a bond with and it has brought me hope of a deeper and more meaningful life then what im used to and with it fear of the future . Then I deny it, then want those feelings to come back and hope its not all just a phase then I just kind of snap out of it all and think that I'm being silly. I have lost my appetite as well, I thought it was a hangover thing but that was like 5 days ago now. I also find myself wanting to get drunk when i'm really happy too and I have stopped caring about things I used to care about.
Its all just weird man. As you can tell I have been making some pretty odd posts as well lately.
Just seems like things are bubbling up below the surface. I hope it's a good thing, atm I don't know what to make of it though.
I also have a decreased desire for sex but actually that feels like a really good thing. I'm enjoying that.
Perhaps we are all extreme adventure seekers. Most of us spend time in cars every day. And if we don't, most of us spend time on bike, on foot or on the bus where there is traffic. Little riskier in the world than millions of people in 5000 pound hunks of metal hurling towards each other all day long.
@Mingle
I used to hold things in a great deal when I was younger (Your age), I had a great deal of tragedy in my life early on. I used to think "I need to be strong" because that is what I was told and conditioned to think. I began to think that because of all these "things" that had happened to me I had become numb. I carried stuff around with me for years and years.
Then I read an article (can't remember by who - wish I could) that really hit home.
Basically it said something along the lines of ....It takes more strength to be able to openly express and confront your emotions than to hold them in, and if you want to cry...then cry...what are you afraid of?
It might have just been the right timing for me, but it made me realize the truth there.
To this day if I get overloaded, sad, frustrated, happy even I just let myself feel it. I might go into a room and start writing about what is going on, or just sit and "feel" what is bothering me. I have a good cry, and wipe the tears away when I am done.
Feels like getting out of a hot shower after a good workout!
It's hard though. Really hard. I just think way to much. I don't I don't know how to just let myself feel.
Don't even try. There is no 'how'. Just notice thoughts as they come up and see what they say.
The more you try the harder you fail.
I hardly cried at all when my sister died. I just felt grateful I had known her longer than anyone else - my parents had not known her once she grew up and left home but I was the one she came to with questions she couldn't ask anyone else. I cry the odd tear at things that are beautiful - it tends to be my test of beauty. But I bawled when told by an NHS doctor in the emergency suite that I had been institutionally let down. I had sought help from police, the legal services and the health service. I had ended up being sectioned (committed) because I was told it was "not a matter of life or death". Being forbidden from caring for my children by the courts WAS a matter of life or death for me. But I needed someone else to acknowledge this before I could cry.
Now, I go through months when not only am I emotionally numb but also physically numb. I have not been here for a long, long time but @Mingle, I am so grateful for your post as it is what I needed to see.
I feel emotions WAY more strongly than most people but didn't realise this until my late 20s/early 30s when my sister explained it to me. I just assumed that everyone felt emotions like I did. In Italy they seemed to! Yet my mother told me I was melodramatic, compared me with Sarah Bernhardt. My emotions matter to me - they tell me what needs to be pruned from my life and where I need to grow. When I can't feel them, I am lost.
I don't think it matters whether I cry or not - it is a pretty exhausting past time - but it DOES matter to me that I know what my emotions are and understand them. Initially, I found it helpful to have a list of emotions and try to match the label to where I was. Often it was no more than "numb" but things such as gratitude and frustration started to crop up.
Sometimes there is nothing I can do except acknowledge that I am attached to something in a very non-Buddhist way and am willing to feel the pain - eg of not being allowed to be with my daughter. But usually there is some attachment I can work on letting go of or some joy I can acknowledge - the constantly changing sky, the serendipity of finding threads like this, the total abandonment of my dog sprawled out on the sofa with no thoughts to how much of himself he exposes. He doesn't have this conditioning, he can be himself at home. It's only when he goes out that he has to be cautious of other dogs/humans.
Bit of a stream of consciousness, sorry @Mingle, but thank you for posting
In love.
@Mingle- good, man. Let it rip.
@SarahT- wow. Now your post is doing for me what you are saying Mingle's is doing for you. Thanks.
I'm glad my post helped you
The not being able to care for your children must suck. How does one get over such an attachment?
I'm going through something similar (don't wanna give too much info though) but by all means not the same level. That feeling though when you have such love for someone and it's not reciprocated is tough. I thought perhaps it was but It turned out to be just wishful thinking.
It does beckon the question though "where do I go from here?"
You don't need to go anywhere. You just need to evaluate your own desire to progress, improve, modify, change or perfect.... You go to 'you'....