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Therapy with opposing beliefs

Just been to a session with my counselor and although as well as feeling good I feel like if she wasn't in a professional position she would very much think I'm an asshole seeing as we seem to oppose on many things regarding gender.

I don't wish to go into these views but do you reckon this is something that might impact the sessions?


  • BuddhadragonBuddhadragon Ehipassiko & Carpe Diem Samsara Veteran

    I have never been to therapy myself, but one of my friends is very Christian, and mentions God and Jesus every three words.
    A past therapist told her that he felt he had to refer her to another therapist because he felt deeply disturbed by her religious beliefs, and feared that this could interfere with the efficacy of the therapy.
    So I guess, if either of you feels too strongly -as in negatively- about each other, the sessions would be too tense for you to open up.
    I surmise such a relationship should be based on trust and a sympathy of sorts...

  • federicafederica seeker of the clear blue sky Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    Not if she's a professional, no. A Therapist/Counsellor has to know how to put their own feelings aside.

    However, you are making assumptions as to how you think she perceives you. And putting yourself down in the process.

    She's your counsellor. Forget about how she might be viewing you.
    That's not anything other than your insecurities playing up again...

  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Moderator

    Sometimes when others challenge us it's worth looking at why we feel so averse to the difference of opinion. Not that you arrive at a different conclusion, I just find it worth investigating. It's doubtful she goes home and lets your conversations niggle at her. But the fact they are bothering you might be good enough reason to look into why you react that way. Unless the topic actually is part of your counseling, it might be best to avoid it if possible, or simply tell her you do not wish to discuss that topic. But 100% of the time when i am bothered by someone else, I can do enough investigation to arrive at a point that I can let go of the fact it bothers me once I understand why.

  • yagryagr Veteran

    I have been to about a dozen counselors over the years, though that number is just a knee-jerk guess and I suspect that it would be higher if I actually got serious about counting. I have had a total of one with whom I've had a good relationship; my current therapist.

    We hold vastly different positions on many issues but we do agree on one very important thing and that is that relationship trumps modality in treatment. The better the relationship, the more we are able to see, respect and honor each others positions. It's kind of like Republican President George Bush who was firmly against LGBT rights, right up till his daughter came out of the closet and suddenly his heart opened. If your heart opens in therapy, good things happen.

    My therapist is very, very Christian. I, obviously, am not. It doesn't impact the therapy because of the relationship. She loves me because she takes the best of her Christianity and applies it to her profession - that part about loving others. Most therapists that I have had our differences would have been magnified because of the lack of relationship. So, is it a factor in yours? Who can say - but if you are able to progress in your treatment in spite of your fears, who cares?

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