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Prayers and Support
Simonthepilgrim
Veteran
I notice that members often ask for, and receive, support from the rest of us in the form of prayers.
Would it be useful to have a specific "Prayer thread"? If so, perhaps it could be 'stickied'.
Would it be useful to have a specific "Prayer thread"? If so, perhaps it could be 'stickied'.
0
Comments
Will you hold in your prayers and positive thoughts of support our brothers and sisters in Australia as they come to terms with the death and disaster of the bush fires?
Good thread.
Incredible how much 'weight' my little altar lamp can carry.
Prayers and heartfelt wishes for all.
Palzang
While many weep, let those of the faiths who trust in the Lord also believe greatly in the power of the Lord's grace to put this aside and help these folks find some refreshment soon.
Our kind was not made to see this sort of thing. And who has the strength to bear it?
They removed cancerous tonsils and other lymph nodes in his neck (a tricky op as his jugular ran right through the middle of the lot.
They also had to remove surrounding supportive tissue and muscle, and he is undergoing Chemotherapy.
He still has his tongue, which is something....
The situation is improved, but still a trial.
Deb will know what I'm talking about.
It's not pleasant, but here's the deal:
He wears a perspex mask with 7 small pinhole marks to ensure accurate location of firing points for his chemotherapy sessions.
He has to be careful to maintain a steady weight, because any change will alter his physiognomy and alter the location of the administered 'shot'.
His tongue is swollen and he cannot eat normally, speak or swallow.
He is being fed intravenously.
His tongue is heavily ulcerated, and he can't bear for it to even rest against his teeth.
He needs constant daily massage on his neck and shoulder area to prevent the scars from hardening too much. he needs a daily application of aqueous cream to prevent his skin from drying up. chest, upper back and neck.
He also needs to follow an exercise regime to keep the whole upper body and shoulder region supple. It exhausts him and it's tedious and challenging.
Fiona never knew how labour-intensive it would be, and she's a real soldier....
Keep them in your thoughts folks.
They're live and kicking.....
My thoughts and prayers are with your friends. Bless their hearts.
John's cancer was also in the tonsil and moved to the molar trigon region, which is right behind your molars. It had also spread to a lymph node.
John's surgery was canceled the day before he was to go in because they felt it was to close to the carotid artery. So he had cemo, (old school) and IMRT raditation.
He was fed with a feeding tub for several months and he ended up in the E.R. several times for fluids.
John's mask hangs on our bedroom wall.......That's where it has hung since the day they gave it to him, the day he finished his radiation.
To watch your loved one or anyone for that matter have to endure the pain that one must endure during this is unbelievable.
John has said since he was able to talk again. They take you to the brink of death and right before they kill you they say, OK, now, try and get better.
The road is long and sad and scary.
And once he recovers from the surgery, radiation and cemo......Then he must learn to deal with the life long side effects that it all left behind. Which is where John and I are now.
There are not words to even begin to express how I feel and John feels about what your friends are going thru. I as the only care giver John had and John as the patient.
If your friends ever for any reason need to talk to us or e-mail us we would be glad to be there for them. You can feel very very alone. There is no oral cancer support groups here in our town. We did not have counseling but I highly recommend it for both of them. I wish we had.
Fede, Fiona needs a huge support team. Please be there for her as much as you can. What she needs most right now is someone to listen to her pain......and heart ache. She is in as much pain as her husband it's just a different kind.
Just reading your post has brought back memories for both John and myself and has made both of us teary. It has been almost 2 years since John was diagnosed and a year and a half since he finshed treatment and it still makes him cry when he talks about it or hears others going thru it. John was never one to cry before.....
I would be more than happy to talk or e-mail Fiona if she would like to talk to a care giver that has walked in her shoes.....Bless her.....
Namaste'
Deb
Please also pray for all of those recently killed in the school shootings in Germany and Alabama, as well as all of those suffering from war all over the world.
We worked together in the early '80s. He wrote a wonderful book called AIDS: Sharing The Pain. I heard that he had died but learn, today, that he is still alive but very diminished.
Kudos to Simon.
I will be sending out metta to all those spoken of on this thread.
I wish you well, I hope you recover and I want nothing but peace, serenity and happiness in your heart and mind.
I pray for you, whether requested to or not, all the time.
Now, more so.
Bless your heart! You are in my thoughts and prayers my friend.
Namaste'
Deb
I hope those dark thoughts will leave soon. That the good Sun will warm you up.
thegrackle
Pilgrim, I sent you a PM.
A pain? Simon the Pilgrim?
That's like calling the music of Bach NOISE.
Deep, Quiet Breathing: That's what I associate with you, kind Sir.
I will be sending you my deepest prayers and wishes for that nasty Black Dog to go on his way. I pray for the sun to light up the darkness and for the quick return of your wellness.
You are always in my mind and heart, Simon. Always.
Love,
Boo
P.S. Please rest your mind about your posts. You've said nothing negative or harmful on here. Don't spend another nanosecond concerned about that.
Palzang
I would request that, whatever your practise, and however you do it, that you keep my elderly father in your thoughts.
He is 88.
He has had cancer of the bladder.
He broke his back 4 years ago.
He has an enlarged prostate.
He has osteoporosis.
he has great difficulty walking.
He was on a special diet to relieve the work of his kidneys, due to this cancer.
Now, he is passing blood copiously, with his motions.
So they have changed his diet, yet again....
he has lost a great deal of weight, and is very weak.
They will be conducting further tests at the beginning of May to try to diagnose and establish the precise cause of this bleeding
He is on much medication.
I don't know whether this means he will get better, or he will die.
I am aware of dying being a possibility.
This is what happens to us all.
so I do not necessarily request that you pray for his continued life.
I ask that you consider his discomfort and distress.
And I ask you also to consider my mother (11 years his junior, but now his carer) and that she have the energy and stamina to be able to cope and be comforted.
Life ends.
This I know.
So maybe this is then beginning of the end for him; who can tell.....?
but I wish him relief and serenity. And I wish my mother fortitude and courage.
That's all I ask of you, to join me in this prayer.
I will also be praying for your peace of mind and comfort. May your suffering be brief, Fede, and your love, gratitude and serenity never fail you. Now and always.
It won't be very long until I'm asking for support from my brothers and sisters in this sangha for the very same thing; an ailing and perhaps dying parent. I've been so incredibly lucky to be able to share my parents' twilight years with them but I've grown re-attached in many ways. It's going to be a challenge.
This is a very good reminder for me, Fede, to get to work preparing myself psychologically. Thank you for providing the push I needed.
I love you very much and I'm always, always here for you, darling Fede.
I spoke to my mother this morning (Monday 27th April) and I asked her how things were:
Bleeding has stopped although motions are still loose.
he seems more attentive and 'Chipper' in the mornings, but towards the afternoon/evening, he 'deflates' and becomes withdrawn...
I asked her if anyone had prescribed something for anaemia.... she said no, but added that a medically -connected friend (She's a professor of dermatological diseases) had also commented that with such a high loss of blood this should have been a first priority - !!
I then suggested she obtain a prescription for 5mg Folic acid, as pharmaceutical iron causes constipation.
She immediately agreed, and then thought it would be a good idea if she took them as well....
Mother is the one who passed on the Thalassaemia to me.... bless.... she's such a generous giving person...!
So things look a little calmer and less frantic....
Thank you all once again for your thoughts, good wishes and prayers.
They mean so much to me....
XX :namaste:
You and your parents are in my thoughts and prayers.
Namaste'
An update:
Father has been taken into hospital.
His bowel movements are still very loose although there is no blood, he cannot eat a single thing without an "accident" occurring virtually within minutes of his eating something.
He has been in all this week, but today and they have had him on a drip, to re-hydrate him.
Due to his medications his veins are far below the surface, so insertion is difficult and painful.
He keeps getting infections on the site of the needle entry, so they are treating him with antibiotics - but we all know what they do to your stomach and digestive process!
Today (Sunday 10th May) they are putting him on fluids only, but also giving him a powder (don't know if it is a barium meal) to make his insides easier to see and diagnose just what the problem may be. The tests take place tomorrow and my mother says the results will be immediately visible.
I will let you all know what is found.
Something isn't right.....
Prayers continue daily.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.....
He suffered not only an asthma attack during the day of Sunday 10th, but at 03.00 the following morning, also went the whole hog and suffered a full-on heart attack.
The intestinal tests have been postponed.
He is on Nitroglycerine (I just hope the adverse effects are not seismic should he break wind! - His Joke, NOT mine!!) and he is being cared for in the best possible place, really.
Mother is bearing up well.
I am now in frequent touch with both my brothers.
The younger broke down this morning on the 'phone and cried inconsolably.
I tried, across such an inadequate medium, to provide support and comfort.....
I told him to leave nothing unsaid, that the opera wasn't over until the fat lady sings....(Or 'twixt thee and me, until Yama, waiting in the wings, finally says "Ok... you're on!") and that he had to come to terms with the fact that Kenneth's slowly ailing body is being chivvied along. His conditions are being managed. They will never be cured.
He's 88, for goodness' sake, and used to smoke nigh-on 50 - 60 a day.....
So it seems it is as both brothers predicted a few years back. When the crapoola hits the rotating ventilator, I'll be the one they look to for the stiff-upper-lip.
So if I come in and vent - bear with me.
But actually, I'm ok so far. Surprisingly cool in fact.
I hope I don't come across as callous or uncaring.
I personally have a mild tendency to see myself thus, yet I'm not a cold person.
Maybe it's getting through to me at long last.
Attachment is not recommended.....
{{hugs, all}}
Fede XX
Bless your heart!
It seems to me that male children have a tendency to fall apart when parents become seriously ill or die and it is left to the female sibling to keep everyone going and be the strong one.
I have watched this with my uncle, mother and aunt when my grandmother died. I have watched this with my brother and myself when my father became very ill and with other families I know.
What I've seen is the female stays strong until it's all over and then she crumples for a bit. She does what it takes to get thru it all.
I'm sure this is not in all cases but it has been what I've seen.
Hang in there......You're in my thoughts and prayers daily....and if you need an ear to listen I would be glad to do so.......
Namaste'
It's not that important, just interesting. Nurturing must be part of being female in most cases, I guess. But that's painting with a broad stroke.
My mother is occasionally tearful and feels helpless.
My father is weakened and lethargic.
I am completely aware and resigned to the fact that this may be the last time I ever see him alive.
I am returning on Monday 25th (A bank holiday here in the UK).
I will touch base again then.
Whatever happens, happens.
_/l\_
Daily prayers and offerings are made for the intentions of all your family, Fede, for peace and such joy as can be at this time.
There's a (less than tasteful) joke about a fantastic hog on a farm, who is faithful, loyal, an excellent 'guard-pig' and who offers invaluable service all round, on the farm.
One day, a neighbour notices he has a hind leg missing. He asks the farmer:
"What happened? Was he attacked? Did he have an accident?"
"No," replies the farmer, "We essentially bred him for food.... so we took the leg for lunch, but he's such a great pig, it seems a shame to get rid of him all at once....."
So here's the father update:
He had a stent inserted into one of the severely clogged coronary arteries, to give the heart a bit of 'leg-room'.... The situation, heart-wise has improved no end. he has regained colour, and is becoming kantankerous, which is a good sign!
However:
His kidneys are functioning at around 15%.
His colon is still producing very runny stools (although the situation seems to be improving - the medication they are giving him appears to be taking some effect, although I suspect it could be Portland cement in tablet form!)
They were going to send him home today. An absolutely ridiculous premise, because having been bed-bound since april 30th, he has now lost use of his legs.
Furthermore, my mother does not have the suitable equipment at home (proper clinical bed, standing frame, wheelchair, etc) although this is available on prescription. But it would take a week or so to supply and deliver.
It took 3 able-bodied young nurses to lift him from, and back into, bed.
At 77 years of age, there is absolutely no way my mother could cope doing this on her own.
However, they have now realised that due to his being bed-bound for so long, his prostate has enlarged to such an extent, that he can no longer pass water at all, without a catheter. And my mother is medically unequipped and inexperienced to be able to deal with this factor in a domestic environment. So it's possible they will transfer him to urology.....
Hence the 'pig' joke.
Bit by bit, he's losing his working parts. But all in all, my dad's a good 'pig'......
Will keep you posted.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and all your family, especially your dad.
Cheers.
Message for your father: "Welcome to the stent club!"
Bless your heart and your family....
Having been bed-bound for so long, his legs had simply refused to function, but with the exercises my mother has given him to do, and with her massage and therapy, it seems he's really come along .... well, if not in leaps and bounds, certainly a lot better than before.
She had considered putting him on a static exercise bike with a cable and dynamo, to save on electricity, but I think it may be a little while yet before he manages to go that well....
But things are definitely better.
They have a male nurse who visits daily, and apparently he and my father have struck up a good friendship.
It helps to have a good rapport.
he's quite strong, and takes the strain off my mum - in more ways than one.
Bless him....
I have taken to meditating upon dying and preparing myself for the inevitable, if for nothing more than being strong and supportive for my mother....
But he's obviously not ready to admit defeat yet!! Talk about live and kicking!!
I'm glad to read your father is doing better. As always you, your family, and all on this list are in my prayers.
Cheers.
Thankyou
~nomad
I know how terribly painful breakups can be and how profound the sense of loss. After all, we lose not only our partner but our hopes and dreams for the future we imagined with them.
I wish you clarity, peace, patient endurance, and above all the ability to accept and let go.
Please allow yourself to grieve so the pain of the loss can run its course. It's impermanent, as you know, but there's no telling how long it will take which is why you'll be needing your patient endurance.
We're always here when you feel like talking and when you don't, you can read.
My heart goes out to you, Nomad. I'll be thinking of you.