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Tolerance

FenixFenix Veteran
edited December 2009 in Buddhism Basics
Tolerance

How much should you have. What im wondering is if anger is not a proper response and letting people walk all over you isint, what is??

I know this might sound stupid but, im being bullied by a little kid, a child that calls me names on end, pokes me, and I cant just take it, cause hes hitting me like kinda of hard and shouting and stuff, so what can I do? I just usually try to be as patient as possible. then when he starts to grab me and hitting me I get a bit angry and tell him off, which makes him a bit sad and is not that skilldful :( but I cant just let him hit me, right?!?

Comments

  • ValtielValtiel Veteran
    edited December 2009
    What im wondering is if anger is not a proper response and letting people walk all over you isint, what is??

    It really depends on the situation. Whose kid is it? How old are you?
  • DazzleDazzle
    edited December 2009
    Hi Fenix,

    Maybe give him plenty of attention, interest and praise when he's being sensible, but ignore him when he behaves badly, after telling him clearly but gently and kindly that it just isn't acceptable.

    There are also the factors mentioned #2 to consider too, of course.


    Kind regards,

    Dazzle
  • FenixFenix Veteran
    edited December 2009
    o0Mundus-Vult-Decipi0o wrote: »
    It really depends on the situation. Whose kid is it? How old are you?
    My little brother and im 20 years old. Hes 8
  • fivebellsfivebells Veteran
    edited December 2009
    He's probably seeking some kind of connection, so give it to him. I would tickle him. :)
  • AriettaDolenteAriettaDolente Veteran
    edited December 2009
    I agree with FiveBells. Sounds like he really wants your attention. Take it as a compliment, open your mind to his. Be a positive role model. Be firm and honest. If he's doing something wrong, make sure he knows it. He'll respect your authority, but its up to you to be the adult. It's okay to be a kid with him sometimes, but you have to set boundaries. Getting angry and yelling is just reinforcing bad behavior. Keep your cool, and teach him alternative ways of getting your attention. Play a game with him. Share your favorite sport of TV program. Give him an outlet that doesn't involve beating you up. :)

    Just a few thoughts off the top of my head.

    ~ AD
  • bluefaceblueface
    edited December 2009
    it doesn't hurt to separate behaviour from person too. Saying 'I hate you stop annoying me' is probably not as effective as saying 'I love you, your my little brother, but i don't like what you're doing'. Calm friendly assertive. Always easier said than done though right!:o
  • cazcaz Veteran United Kingdom Veteran
    edited December 2009
    Fenix wrote: »
    Tolerance

    How much should you have. What im wondering is if anger is not a proper response and letting people walk all over you isint, what is??

    I know this might sound stupid but, im being bullied by a little kid, a child that calls me names on end, pokes me, and I cant just take it, cause hes hitting me like kinda of hard and shouting and stuff, so what can I do? I just usually try to be as patient as possible. then when he starts to grab me and hitting me I get a bit angry and tell him off, which makes him a bit sad and is not that skilldful :( but I cant just let him hit me, right?!?

    would a good doctor become angry with his patient because his disease causes him to be unstable ?
    No of course not a little kid is being a little kid this is the nature of a child being a child, it doesnt mean discipline isnt needed though it just requires you to know that anger will never solve anything only make the situation worse.
  • DeshyDeshy Veteran
    edited December 2009
    Fenix wrote: »
    Tolerance

    What im wondering is if anger is not a proper response and letting people walk all over you isint, what is??

    You can prevent people from walking all over you by not getting angry about it too. Anger is not the only solution to the problem. On the contrarily, anger is the least productive reaction. You can control your brother without getting angry with him, can't you?
  • PalzangPalzang Veteran
    edited December 2009
    Speaking as a little brother myself, I think he just wants attention from his big brother, who he probably admires a lot but doesn't know how to express it. How about just spending some time with him and showing him that he's important too?

    Palzang
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