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Another question for ye:
One of the first things your supposed to do to become a buddhist is give up wrong speech or speaking badly of other people. But how do you interact honestly with other people if you dont give them your honest opinion even if that is not good. I do try and be empathic, especially with someone I don't get on with and I always try and think from the other persons point of view and see perhaps why they behave they way the do. I often find that if you can understand the other persons behaviour then it takes the sting out of it and your anger dissapates.
However, there is one person I know and I cannot find a motivation for their behaviour. I have been trying for at least ten years to be patient and understanding but I find I am pushed to the limits with this person. However, the real difficult I have is the other friends around this person who expect me to voice my beliefs about this persons behaviour. I am very aware of the fact that I should let go of my negative feelings and that I shouldn't be involved with bad speech about that person but I cant be honest if I say nothing at all and also people assume when you say nothing that you are somehow compliant with the bad behaviour.
The Dalai Lama said in his book "Live in a better Way, Reflections on truth, love and Happiness" that it is your enemy that teaches you more on how to let go of your own negative behaviour and grasping and I honestly believe that to be true but ... In reality how does that work and how do I implament it on a personal basis ?
I have so much to learn!