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My experience tonight with violence
comicallyinsane
Veteran
Well I am bussing tables tonight at work and I see this guy that comes in who is a cousin of a former employee. He hangs out with this guy who fights down at the casino. Well the fighting guy and I talke din th epast and he seemed like a nice enough guy. Well tonight he was drunk and started challenging me left and right. His friend kept telling him to sit down and stop it but he kept it going. I kept trying to change the subject keeping it on a happy note. I knew what he was doing. Then he was meesing around and swung a punch a little too close to me. I put a hand up to block and I wasn't sure if he was really attacking me. I just told him I had to get back to work and I walked away. He kept wanting me to come over but I went into the back. I am glad they left right after.
Well I started thinking about it and of course it started to stick in my craw. A year ago I would have beaten him to the hospital. I am a fighter and even though I am on this path towards peace I am still having trouble. I have decided I will be a bit more aggressive if this happens again. I will ask him why he wants to keep this up. I mean he was insulting me and my Kung Fu. My honor has to mean something. He was trying to be a bit of a bully.
Well I started thinking about it and of course it started to stick in my craw. A year ago I would have beaten him to the hospital. I am a fighter and even though I am on this path towards peace I am still having trouble. I have decided I will be a bit more aggressive if this happens again. I will ask him why he wants to keep this up. I mean he was insulting me and my Kung Fu. My honor has to mean something. He was trying to be a bit of a bully.
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Comments
For my two cents, you did the right thing. less aggression is best, because more aggression means less self-control. ("Losing it", I think it's called....)
Stand your ground, and don't confuse assertiveness for aggression. You have power and strength at your fingertips, with your Martial Art. Be true to the dictum that an ounce of self-control is enough resistance and equals a ton of aggression.
A real martial artist can assess true confrontation for what it really is - in this respect you behaved honourably. Indeed a part of training is to know that you are not threatened by the behaviour of fools.
Peacefulness is invincible in it's unmovable postion. Even if he chased you into the parking lot and stabbed you in the back - who really 'won'?
You did up hold your honor and that of your Kung-fu well. My understanding of the martal arts is that one does not use it to retaliate (Sp) Only to protect oneself.
Actually that is a misconception. It is really for destroying your enemies. The insurance companies made it so teachers here had to say that. I would even say the Shaolin Monks are like that but they won't fight at all unless to save someone else or to defend the temple, but never to defend themselves.
Not my back ,that's for sure. LOL
Thanks BSF
Humm, I didn't know that, I will have to ask my cousin, He teaches martial arts. As for me I teach Tai Chi. Which can be used for self defense, Although that is not it's true purpose.
I think you did the right thing. I have to admit that mouthy people tend to get on my last nerve. :grr: Especially mouthy drunk people because I used to be one of them! LOL! Ever since getting sober, I find mouthy drunks really irritate me more so than usual. You showed real self-discipline in my opinion. I don't know if I would have been able to keep my cool.
Adiana :wavey:
That is true, Tai Chi can be both deceptive and deadly. As well as relaxing and calming. I teach it as both a form of reflection and defense.
Sorry, I'll stop being such a war monger. But I feel like such a vigilante when I get all riled up about this kind of stuff.
The highest attainment of the samurai is defeat of the opponent by the technique of "No Sword".
A Samurai of great skill, could without doubt, cut down their opponent swiftly and definitively.
A Samurai of highest achievement could defeat their opponent without even drawing their sword,
by out-witting them.
http://www.kimsoft.com/polwar.htm
Well that is good for the samurai but I am a Kung Fu fighter.
glad you make the right decision not to fight him, but i'm a little sorry you didnt use the opportunity to use your drunken fist style on him. have you ever heard about buddha's palm style?well,if you have another chance to use your gong fu, do not hesitate to use it, let 'em know that drunken fist can make them drunk too. this is an opinion of me as a martial arts lover not as a buddhist.:))
One of the hardest things I've found to do is let go of things, especially situations that you can replay in your mind and think of different outcomes. This, too, is an attachment, and shouldn't be dwelt upon. The more one thinks on these situations, the more that is read into them, and hardly ever is it positive (well, except this one time when I worked in a microbiology lab in the navy, this hot medical student and I were talking in my lab and she had asked my what time I got off, and I just told her 11 and left it at that. Now I hit myself in the head 'cause I read into it that she wanted me to ask her out!).
Release your anger, as yoda would say, and just say to yourself that that guy has problems and leave it at that.
You can also think of it this way... how would you want you children to react in the same situation? My 4 year old is kind of going though this with a bully at his day care, and I so much want to tell him to just pound him into the ground, but instead tell him the best thing to do is just walk away. That really is the hardest thing to do...at 4 or 34!