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I think it very interesting that the issue of the Buddha's leaving of his family has sparked so much discussion here. It is a very live question for American practitioners, who so often have fully lay lives, and the questions of compassionate action that accompany those relationships.
People may be interested that Palzang's comments are very much in accord with an outtake from Jane Hirshfield's interview that appears on the pbs.org/the buddha website--which is in general a treasure trove of further material of all kinds, much by people not featured in the program. Anyhow, here's Hirshfield's thoughts on the matter:
As FoibleFull pointed out, this is not something that is exclusive to Buddhism, as Jesus also instructed his disciples to leave their families behind in order to bring beings to God (he said to abandon the fishing boats and nets and become fishers of men - I assume he included women in that). And it's a common theme in many spiritual traditions. Certainly taking ordination in Buddhism means joining the sangha and leaving one's ordinary life behind, including one's family (although that has often been modified in the West. We have some nuns who had kids already when they took ordination, so the kids stayed with them. Hubbies got the boot, though, if they were still around - usually not!).
It really all boils down to how bad do you want to get off the wheel and help the countless multitudes of suffering beings to do the same. If you look at it in that way, as Mr. Spock once said, the needs of the many (sentient beings) outweigh the needs of the few (family). Of course, that doesn't mean you have to abandon them totally, but the relationship obviously changes dramatically. But it takes a lot of love and compassion to go all the way, more than most of us are able to express at the moment. So we practice.
Perhaps you should try some cortisone cream! And btw, Rahula (Buddha's son's name) does not actually mean "fetter", despite stories to the contrary. It has to do with an eclipse of the moon (probably at his birth), which was thought to be caused by the snake, Rahu.
My parents, who are Catholics, watched the whole thing and by their own volition too. They wanted to understand my path. How lovely of them, eh?
I thought it was very good. Like Glow, I was particularly impressed by Jane Hirshfield.
Regarding leaving one's wife and children: As others have pointed out, many of Jesus' disciples left their wives and children.
Also, don't forget, women's equality to men in society and their status as 'persons' under the law is a very new idea, historically speaking. Women (and children) have legal/societal protections today that weren't even dreamed of in the past and the value of women has always differed by culture as well. Women in Canada weren't even 'persons' under the law until something like 1919 (when women finally won the right to vote).
The story of Prince Siddhartha leaving his beloved wife and son is not so difficult to understand, I think. He loved them deeply, and he left them because of his deep love for them. He realized that no matter how much he loved them and tried to protect them and care for them that in time they would grow old, become sick, and die. He could not live with that. It was his love for his family and indeed for all sentient beings that was aroused when he left the palace and saw what suffering was about that drove his search to find the answer to suffering. He didn't "abandon" them; he offered them liberation, and us as well.
Palzang, you said this so succinctly! You are truly an excellent apologist for the Buddhist path.
This is from the link a person of no rank posted above:
There’s no reason I see to idealize the beginning of Buddhism. It’s just the story of a person, a normal and human person, confronting the normal dilemmas of what it’s like to be in a body inside of time, inside our shared fate, and trying to answer the question: how do we navigate that?
If, the future Buddha, uncertain of his fate, named his son fetter, walked away from his family while they slept so that he would not have to deal with the trauma it would inflict... not even have to see it. If that is true, calling it anything but selfish and irresponsible is just spin. Why do all of his pre-Buddha actions have to be perfectly noble? I dont get it. He wasn't God. That is what makes his struggle and realization so powerful.
I finally watched this today (had to download it since I missed it the first time). Pretty nice introduction to the Buddha's life. It would be nice if it were a mini-series that went into some detail though; it only touches on the 4NT and little else about Buddhism.
Almost done watching "The Life of Buddha" (BBC) also, and it's pretty good. Found relevance to another thread here about the Buddha's teaching in five words where a monk, in this special, says Buddhism in two words could be summed up as "Practice mindfulness".
Comments
I am grateful for the PBS showing of the life of Buddha. I thought it was very well done.
People may be interested that Palzang's comments are very much in accord with an outtake from Jane Hirshfield's interview that appears on the pbs.org/the buddha website--which is in general a treasure trove of further material of all kinds, much by people not featured in the program. Anyhow, here's Hirshfield's thoughts on the matter:
http://www.pbs.org/thebuddha/blog/2010/Mar/16/jane-hirshfield-leaving-palace/
As FoibleFull pointed out, this is not something that is exclusive to Buddhism, as Jesus also instructed his disciples to leave their families behind in order to bring beings to God (he said to abandon the fishing boats and nets and become fishers of men - I assume he included women in that). And it's a common theme in many spiritual traditions. Certainly taking ordination in Buddhism means joining the sangha and leaving one's ordinary life behind, including one's family (although that has often been modified in the West. We have some nuns who had kids already when they took ordination, so the kids stayed with them. Hubbies got the boot, though, if they were still around - usually not!).
It really all boils down to how bad do you want to get off the wheel and help the countless multitudes of suffering beings to do the same. If you look at it in that way, as Mr. Spock once said, the needs of the many (sentient beings) outweigh the needs of the few (family). Of course, that doesn't mean you have to abandon them totally, but the relationship obviously changes dramatically. But it takes a lot of love and compassion to go all the way, more than most of us are able to express at the moment. So we practice.
Palzang
:mad:
I thought it was very good. Like Glow, I was particularly impressed by Jane Hirshfield.
Regarding leaving one's wife and children: As others have pointed out, many of Jesus' disciples left their wives and children.
Also, don't forget, women's equality to men in society and their status as 'persons' under the law is a very new idea, historically speaking. Women (and children) have legal/societal protections today that weren't even dreamed of in the past and the value of women has always differed by culture as well. Women in Canada weren't even 'persons' under the law until something like 1919 (when women finally won the right to vote).
Palzang, you said this so succinctly! You are truly an excellent apologist for the Buddhist path.
Metta.
Palzang
Well, there ya go.
Palzang
Palzang, did Jane Hirshfield really study with you? I thought she was a Zen practitioner.
The program got me looking around for Buddhist websites. Are there others that all of you like as well as this one?
I was just kidding. You have to learn that I kid around a lot.
Palzang