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Hello, sorry to bother you like, but.....
I'm listening to a dhamma talk by Ajahn Sumedho and I'm feeling really good like I completely believe in it, but the only problem is, I only feel like this when I am wrecked. You know, drunk, stoned whatever.
I know the Buddha advised against these things (intoxicants) but I'm just really scared, that I only feel like this when I am under the influence, and too lazy to even bother with it when sober. But man its way too far out there for me to properly understand.
I tried stuff like NA and AA but I just find it way too boring and you have to hug people. It just didn't work. I'm sorry to any AA and NA success stories who over came leaps and bounds, but I could never get in one as I could never admit I had a problem, but admired people who could, but honestly I'm not a addict or a frequent alcohol user I just use it ever know and then when the oppertunity presents itself. I even lost my phone tonight because a theif stole it from me without me knowing, and he was supposed to be a freind.
but anyway, thanks for listening to my rant, but heres the problem again unless you forgot it.
I can only bear to listen to the dhamma when I'm extremely stoned. I suppose that dosn't make me a real buddhist and I'm sorry if I have offended you.
Thanks All
I know the Buddha advised against these things (intoxicants) but I'm just really scared, that I only feel like this when I am under the influence, and too lazy to even bother with it when sober. But man its way too far out there for me to properly understand.
I tried stuff like NA and AA but I just find it way too boring and you have to hug people. It just didn't work. I'm sorry to any AA and NA success stories who over came leaps and bounds, but I could never get in one as I could never admit I had a problem, but admired people who could, but honestly I'm not a addict or a frequent alcohol user I just use it ever know and then when the oppertunity presents itself. I even lost my phone tonight because a theif stole it from me without me knowing, and he was supposed to be a freind.
but anyway, thanks for listening to my rant, but heres the problem again unless you forgot it.
I can only bear to listen to the dhamma when I'm extremely stoned. I suppose that dosn't make me a real buddhist and I'm sorry if I have offended you.
Thanks All
0
Comments
I would suggest a couple of websites that have Self-Study guides that are not too difficult. You can just get the "jist" of the Dhamma, and if you have questions there are always more links to more detailed information.
Access To Insight @ http://www.AccessToInsight.org
BuddhaNet @ http://www.BuddhaNet.net
Good luck.
I could be wrong here, and hopefully corrected, but the important part of buddhism is the meditating and the actual lay practice in terms of living and interacting.
The study part is more your actual guidance from a source such as a teacher or book, where you get pointed in the right direction.
Not quite as mind blowing as you would expect, but you know, anything for a quiet life.
Re-read the bolded parts. You could try meditating on that to start the ball rolling. When the opportunity presents itself? Do you ever say no to the opportunity?
I do not write this with the intention to offend. But as someone who has sstruggled herself in the past, my very humble opinion is that you can't face the Dharma sober because you then have to face the truth about your habit. If you can only "bear to listen to the dhamma when I'm extremely stoned", then what is your subconscious telling you? You already know the answer - do something about it.
Respectfully,
Raven
You call it a habit but its not its a very rare thing. Honestly.
I had several years of getting drunk "ocassionally" (IE every weekend) but hey it wasn't my fault because my friends just morphed into "bad people" whenever alcohol was around and it's easily done. And the spiritual experience I found under the influence was me being receptive to truth because I was too pissed to fight it. The difference between you and me is, that I wanted that truth ALL THE TIME. So I went cold turkey from drinking, avoided situations for me to "ocassionally" get drunk and basically did the hard yards. You can't get out of it easily.
Honestly? I call shennanigans on that statement. If it was "a very rare thing" you wouldn't even be worried about it. OR it started off as rare but it's increased as you want that "spiritual high" you're chasing.
You need to face facts here. Maybe this is the wakeup call you need to stop your habit. You have already dome some research as you know the Buddha said to avoid intoxicants and getting intoxicated. I'm sorry if I sound bitchy but I'm not going to enable you by saying it's ok to get stoned or drunk and experience the Dharma that way.
Respectfully,
Raven
Hey, I'm not saying its OK at all, the fact is its not OK and I know that is why I am discussing it here now. The fact is its very rare that I use drugs or alcohol, and I want to stop for good.
So stop. Don't TALK about it, DO something about it. You know there are various avenues to help. Find one and do something. That's what you need to do - bottom line.
To be honest I don't do it often enough to really have a problem like addiction or depedancy.
The Buddha said it was a no-no.
so - don't so it.
On the one hand you protest that you have near-spiritual experiences... then you say you want to stop... then you say you don't use it enough to be labelled dependent.
Stop bouncing from one foot to the other.
Just stop.
alcohol, eh. every once in a while. marijuana, great! you can contemplate dhamma when you're high for good karma. only when you're high by yourself though. when you're high with others, just try to keep yourself under control.
meditate every day before and after sleep, sober or not.
may you be happy, may you find peace, and may your bud be hella trichy
*smiles* Spoken like a true dependent.
Like Fede and I said - just stop. Do something about it.
I'm no expert, but I doubt the Buddha would have endorsed it. Marijuana existed back then and the Buddha said no intoxicants. That's just me though.
Respectfully,
Raven
In this case it is best not to try and justify taking intoxicants, because that's just the Non-Self doing the speaking and trying to please itself, but as we come to know... that Non-Self is just a construct of the mind. It is not us. Learn what the teachings *mean*, not just what they say. Understand that everything about Buddhism is there as a tool to unlocking the truth, and that every rule that was created was done so in order to prevent such wrong actions from occurring before we were wise enough to not need guidance any longer.
It seems that you seem to be finding out that getting baked isn't helping you from a spiritual standpoint. Sure, many people can have spiritual experiences while using mind-altering substances. The problem is that usually you have a hard time remembering what it was that you experienced, and how you got there in the first place.
Drugs can give you some perspective, seeing that there is more out there than you were told, maybe they give you a flash of insight, but they won't give you the understanding that you're looking for.
The fact that you're saying you want to stop indicates otherwise. To me it say you know you have a problem, you've already admitted that to yourself. Seems like you just don't want to admit it to anyone else though. And you said in your first post that you're scared, as in scared to stop? If that's the case then you definitely have a problem. One need not use a drug everyday to have a problem with it.
What would I like?
I wish I could have my own bit of land of the greatest natural beauty, where the sun always shines and I can live in happiness in a sort of utopia no one else can enter.
I don't think thats going to happen though, very few of the things I would "like" are likely ever to.
But in your mind, you can always make the sun shine...
As my signature says: "I am sooooo happy. How on earth could I be otherwise?"
I have happiness because I choose it.
So can you.
Because of karma there will be a result. Because you have a heart you you have the possibility to be open, clear, and sensitive. If you can manage to open to the results you will get the messages that you need to guide you.
You have to find something that you already have that is reliable. The old strategy of condmening/indulging isn't going to cut it. If you can be compassionate and open it doesn't matter if you do drugs or have a hangover. You are still a good person. And when you get the right signals? When it hurts your heart to see the addictive cycles it will eventually make you sick. And you will just vomit up that cycle.
Try to find the support in the direction of awakening at the center. AA is good but I wonder if sobriety rather than awakening is at the center? See if some mindfulness groups buddhist teachings are near you. Jon Cabot Zinn (spelling) has had a lot of success with mindfulness in the case of addictions. Pema Chodron's tapes teach specifically about shenpa which is how addictions hook us. PM me I can link you to free tapes from Pema Chodron to listen to!