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Be careful with your advise, PLEASE.
I am leaving this board because I just don't agree with what is being said on some of the threads.
We all have a right to our own opinions and a right to state them, but some peoples opinions are being stated as fact on this board and it's just wrong.
Please people, be careful what you say to vulnerable people and inquisitive new comers who log into this forum looking for help or information, what you say directly influences their choices and smart a*s answers or philosophical riddles may put them off forever.
Lets try to keep it real. J.P.
We all have a right to our own opinions and a right to state them, but some peoples opinions are being stated as fact on this board and it's just wrong.
Please people, be careful what you say to vulnerable people and inquisitive new comers who log into this forum looking for help or information, what you say directly influences their choices and smart a*s answers or philosophical riddles may put them off forever.
Lets try to keep it real. J.P.
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Comments
Understand that there is no one to be angry with; no one to be frustrated with. Each of us is the result of conditioning, and it is only our respective conditioning that makes us any different. If one speaks out of ignorance, they were led to that line of reasoning through causality. If no one will speak up and correct them in a well-spoken fashion and with true wisdom, the conditions for their own understanding may never occur.
If anything I get the impression that the members here are oversensitive and easily upset. This does have its merits when it comes to helping people who really need it, but it has its downside too, when people are getting upset and fussy over a few words.
But you can only protect people to a certain extent. People are not idiots, but if you shelter them too much, you make them weaker. Sure people are always going to be misled. What's the point of a spiritual forum if everyone has this supposed perfect 'right view'.
Anyone here can just turn the damn computer off and go back to simple everyday living. Eating, working, meditating, sleeping. Talking with people face to face. I probably don't get along in this environment as much as some who seemingly bond amazingly well. For me, and many others, we can turn the monitor off, and this whole virtual world of importance disappears with it.
Forum posting can be as addicting as video games. I'm the first to say I'm addicted to forum posting.
It hasn't mattered what kind of forum: politics, crime, religion, psychology. Same things arise in every forum.
Sorry but got to agree with this.
But I do agree with a point you are (implicitly) making here: that when we don't agree with advice that's being given, rather than "leave," we should stay, and make our own voice heard.
Otherwise, you're just leaving the community in the clutches of the "bad advice" givers. Maybe the community needs you to stay, so they can hear your opinion on the matter. I guarantee you that someone is going to find your words helpful.
Don't forget: no one can control your feelings unless you let them. Don't let the negative elements in life defeat you or drive you away; stand firm in your own truth, and use your own energy to make the situation better. Don't run from a bad situation: help make it a good one.
What I am doing, though, is trying to use each new forum as a stepping-stone to self-improvement. Seeing the mistakes I made in an earlier forum, I try to correct them in the next one; and from there I try to do better in the next one, etc.
Besides helping you become a better person, this approach also lends greater legitimacy to forum-surfing, because now it's not just an obsession, now it's an experiment in self-improvement.
In the process, you may let go of certain kinds of forums, and replace them with more enlightened ones. This particular forum has been very helpful to me so far.
It's all about how you use it. Even if there are bad elements, you can still make progress in your own practice: you just have to navigate the threads carefully, and maintain mindfulness.
Acting on such emotions alone would in itself be childish.
perhaps the use of such a term could be qualified as unskillful? (or childish by your own standards?
Most people have always acted out of reacting to emotions.
Perhaps you would qualify everyone who live this way as "childish"?
It's not true that most behavior arises from emotional reactivity. Civilization would disintegrate within hours if that were true.
This is how wrong speech is born. The precept to avoid wrong speech is only necessary insofar as we have not realized that our actions are born of selfish desire and not of genuine compassion.
When you "decide" it's childish, all your subsequent reactions get funneled through this one definition--even though it might be wrong.
Can we really know for certain what is happening in someone else's heart or mind, when we have:
* never met that person;
* never looked in their eyes;
* never heard the tone of their voice;
* indeed, never done anything beyond read a few words on a computer screen, during the myriad distractions of the day?
Based on such a tiny sample of that person, can we really say with certainty what their inner motivations are?
Isn't it prudent to at least allow for other possibilities--even if you feel sure you're right?
When you have judged enough people wrongly in life, you tend to see the wisdom of this approach.
I guess so, but the choice of how to act still have to come from emotions.
to be more specific, the way i understand things is that usually,
people act because of a conditioned response to a situations which trigger an emotion, which are almost instantaneous and completely on the subconscious level.
By not reacting to this emotion, we can change the conditioned response.
Can you please comment if you think i'm wrong?
Often, the wisest thing we can say is "I don't know."
At the same time, we do need to be mindful of how our words might affect others, and "season" our speech with wisdom and moderation. We do have an effect on those around us; let it be a positive effect.
Perhaps a more detailed yet private communication to Moderators would be more suitable or appropriate. This is just sour grapes.... Is this a fact, or just your opinion....? Newbies may be un-informed, but they're not unintelligent. Many of them are more than capable of discernment. And keeping a watchful eye on new threads here, you'd be amazed at just how many smart @ss answers I've personally removed that you don't know about....;)
That - on a Buddhist forum - is quite funny, really.
The OP's complaint seems to be
Jovial prankster, I think you are making an error in how you are reacting to others' views. I don't think it's wrong for people to speak of their views as if they think their views are true. If that bothers you, you can either leave or changer your approach. Due to the fact that taking things less seriously isn't that hard, I think you should stay.
I personally think if people want to leave, just leave.
Don't make a song and dance about it, draw attention to yourself or post a long diatribe about the injustices, broken morals, questionable content and injured pride....only to come back again because you lack the will-power to resist it.
Either stay, or go.
But if you go - go.
I think that what matters most is that people in the forum try to help each other.
just don't make a huge song and dance about it, involve members, mods and admin in your grieviances, declare yourself fed up with the injustice of it all, state publicly that 'that's it dear friends, I'm going....!' then come back.
Oy, my life.....:rolleyes::D
Drama queens.....
Sorry, just looking around the fora, dropped in, and thought it would be funny to post that. It is not a matter of will powe:rolleyes:r. Just an undeleted account.
about 9 letters/numbers.
Go in to change your password.
Type in the new unintelligible password.
Type it in again.
Confirm change, then log off.
Burn the bit of paper you wrote it down on.
Now come back in a week and you'll see that your account is inaccessible, because you cant remember the password.
I've done it on 2 websites.
it's so liberating.
No way. This is my name and if it belongs to this site, then this site belongs to me as well. If I feel like dropping by every now and then, I'll do so.
Later.
For me, I love sugar coated answers and all that, but sometimes what I really need is a good kick in the @$$. Some people here can see that, and give my @$$ a good kicking. I like to think that there are a lot of gurus on here. Preachers tell everyone the right way to do something, whereas gurus give specific advice based on that persons individual needs.
smart ass: answers. we all got one.
philosophical riddle: only when the question is exhausted will the answer appear..
Something like that? Ok I'm keeping it real now. Sorry to see you go. Hope you find it better elsewhere.
My god, there must be something more interesting to do. Alas
Note to self: open all the doors and windows, attract local cats with a bucket of sardines.
That's right!
Then if it doesn't work just quit, quietly.
You mean childish?
I call those suicide letter threads. It is funny the way some people try to make a deathbed before they leave. (or maybe it isn't funny but creepy, I don't know).
You're being way too sensitive. Of course people state their opinions as facts. If they didn't think what they believed was a fact, it wouldn't be their opinion, now would it?
Welcome back big Fella! I've missed you!:)
BTW In you absence we have dissembled Dharma and can all conclude that it really is as good on the outside as it is on the inside.
Much metta
Mat
I guess we should be thankful then, that it's the one suicide you can commit time and time again.....
Well the person who started this thread sent me a PM and they were far from suicidal. More dispondent and angry, in fact.
I dont think it was funny or creepy.
Let's not lose ourselves in the "good riddance/don't bother coming back" mentality. Any unconscious person can think that way. Let's be better than that!
If this guy were to see the error of his ways later, regret his move, and desire to humble himself and come back and learn about the dharma, why should we make it harder for him to do so?
It's not like every person here hasn't acted like a baby at some point in our lives. Heck, I've even done this same "angry forum departure" act myself (long ago, before I got it out of my system).
When someone makes an error that you yourself have made (or that you could make), the enlightened Buddhist response is compassion. Times like this are opportunities to practice compassion, to rise above the "serves you right" mentality that the world is mired in, and be actual Buddhists.
Cheers to everyone here who has risen above reaction, and offered a more conscious response.
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Mtns