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Tell me what I am?
Theswingisyellow
Trying to be open to existenceSamsara Veteran
To the forum I would request your insight and help. (A side note i don't want offend anyone with my belief's or practice as they are just my particular view. I don't make claims as to what is right or wrong for someone nor is my intent to debate or prove anything:))
As of late I feel that my practice has gotten to a point that I would benefit from a teacher or a Sangha community. My learning thus far has been mainly n the Zen tradition. One of my favorite books along that line is "The Compass of Zen" by Zen Master Seung Sahn. I tell you this to give you some insight into my learning. Over the years of reading about Buddhism, sporatic fits and starts with meditation, last year I finally started meditating on a regular basis ( I try to meditate twice a day) It is only recently, and a big deal for me, that I actually started calling myself a Buddhist. I find my practice and the study of the Dharma both liberating. What I have found, as it occurs to me, is a deep truth, a reality and as such it is something I wish to persue. It seemed that my understanding has increased, especially when I compare it to when I first started looking at this many years ago. Something clicked for me. Also I came to a point where I dropped any lofty goal (enlightenment, samadhi ect) and just focused on being. May be reading on this forum has been unskillfull for me? Maybe thinking I need a teacher is unskillfull. Now I have my self questioning what kind of Buddhist I am. Maybe I have come to a point where I am at a stage that is pushing me to progress and this is just part of it. Let me state my particular outlook and from that I would ask the forum what tradition do I seem to most identify with. I think I want to deepen my understanding and path but have come to a fork in the road and I am not sure which way to go. So here it is:
1. I meditate by watching my breath go in and out of my nose. At the same time I try to be aware of sounds and my bodily sensations. If thoughts arise I tend to label them as they are; Thinking, Planning ect and let them go and return to my breath.
2. I ascibe to the basic tenents of Buddhism; The Four Noble Truths, The Eightfold Path, selflessness, dependent origination, and impermenance.
3. I believe compassion is at the heart of what I should paractice, I try to practice loving kindness.
4. I practice mindfullness.
5. I believe in non-duality. All is created by the mind alone. We make good, we make bad. We set the wheel of samsara in motion.
6. I don't believe in gods, devas, or demons. For me the only realm is right here and right now. For me these supernatural beings are projections and metaphors for ourselves and our own behaviors, be they good or bad. People have many opinions about this. Ultimately for me this is unknowable, we can discuss the supernatural all day long but ultimately we cannot prove nor dissprove our belief. The belief is in the eye of the beholder. No offense to anyone's beliefs.
7. Buddha is not a god (see # 6)
8. My release from suffering is only going to come from me and how I keep my mind.
9. I am not a vegetarian nor do I believe believe being one makes one any better. Hitler was a vegetarian, it didn't seem to help his compassion.;)
10. I am not into "hippie" New age or feel good Buddhism. I don't do this to feel happy. I do it, as over time, I have gained a little insight into the reality of this condition and find that the reality of here and now is life giving and life-engaging, be it pleasure or pain.
11. I believe that the Buddhadharma requires us to ultimately be responsible for our lives and actions. It requires us to face reality. It is work, it is responsibility, it is reality with all the joy, pain, suffering and wonder that is of this world.
12. The mouse eats cat food, but the cat's bowl is broken. The swing outside my window is yellow.
So that is my perspective. Thank you in advance for your insights.
yours in the Dharma,
Todd
As of late I feel that my practice has gotten to a point that I would benefit from a teacher or a Sangha community. My learning thus far has been mainly n the Zen tradition. One of my favorite books along that line is "The Compass of Zen" by Zen Master Seung Sahn. I tell you this to give you some insight into my learning. Over the years of reading about Buddhism, sporatic fits and starts with meditation, last year I finally started meditating on a regular basis ( I try to meditate twice a day) It is only recently, and a big deal for me, that I actually started calling myself a Buddhist. I find my practice and the study of the Dharma both liberating. What I have found, as it occurs to me, is a deep truth, a reality and as such it is something I wish to persue. It seemed that my understanding has increased, especially when I compare it to when I first started looking at this many years ago. Something clicked for me. Also I came to a point where I dropped any lofty goal (enlightenment, samadhi ect) and just focused on being. May be reading on this forum has been unskillfull for me? Maybe thinking I need a teacher is unskillfull. Now I have my self questioning what kind of Buddhist I am. Maybe I have come to a point where I am at a stage that is pushing me to progress and this is just part of it. Let me state my particular outlook and from that I would ask the forum what tradition do I seem to most identify with. I think I want to deepen my understanding and path but have come to a fork in the road and I am not sure which way to go. So here it is:
1. I meditate by watching my breath go in and out of my nose. At the same time I try to be aware of sounds and my bodily sensations. If thoughts arise I tend to label them as they are; Thinking, Planning ect and let them go and return to my breath.
2. I ascibe to the basic tenents of Buddhism; The Four Noble Truths, The Eightfold Path, selflessness, dependent origination, and impermenance.
3. I believe compassion is at the heart of what I should paractice, I try to practice loving kindness.
4. I practice mindfullness.
5. I believe in non-duality. All is created by the mind alone. We make good, we make bad. We set the wheel of samsara in motion.
6. I don't believe in gods, devas, or demons. For me the only realm is right here and right now. For me these supernatural beings are projections and metaphors for ourselves and our own behaviors, be they good or bad. People have many opinions about this. Ultimately for me this is unknowable, we can discuss the supernatural all day long but ultimately we cannot prove nor dissprove our belief. The belief is in the eye of the beholder. No offense to anyone's beliefs.
7. Buddha is not a god (see # 6)
8. My release from suffering is only going to come from me and how I keep my mind.
9. I am not a vegetarian nor do I believe believe being one makes one any better. Hitler was a vegetarian, it didn't seem to help his compassion.;)
10. I am not into "hippie" New age or feel good Buddhism. I don't do this to feel happy. I do it, as over time, I have gained a little insight into the reality of this condition and find that the reality of here and now is life giving and life-engaging, be it pleasure or pain.
11. I believe that the Buddhadharma requires us to ultimately be responsible for our lives and actions. It requires us to face reality. It is work, it is responsibility, it is reality with all the joy, pain, suffering and wonder that is of this world.
12. The mouse eats cat food, but the cat's bowl is broken. The swing outside my window is yellow.
So that is my perspective. Thank you in advance for your insights.
yours in the Dharma,
Todd
0
Comments
"I would benefit from a teacher or a Sangha community."
That sums it up really. Follow your own intuition and get a teacher, ask him or her those questions and see what happens.
Example:
Ajahn Brahm book on meditation propose stages.
- First stage should be only be in the present moment.
- second stage should be be on the present moment and only allow thoughts about the present moment.
- third stage should be watching the breath, at least once when it come in, and once when it goes out. Your attention can go to different places in between (sounds, sensations to the body etc...)
this seem to be the stage that you are at.
- Fourth stage would be full continuous attention to the breath. Meaning if you can manage about 100 breaths, watching it constantly without any thoughts, any breaks, you can go to the next stage
- Fifth stage the beautiful breath.
After the fifth stage have been experienced for a long period of time, you will encounter a nimitta...
From there you will go even much deeper in meditation.
http://www.dharmaweb.org/index.php/The_Basic_Method_of_Meditation_by_Ajahn_Brahmavamso
Been practicing in Seon for years and recently began practicing in Kwan Um. The quality of practice and practitioners is solid.
Thank you for taking the time to reply and your insights. Maybe it is indeed time to find a teacher and a home. I would guess and maybe it would appear that my grounding and base is in Zen. I guess I feel most at home with it. This question I had, was one that was beginning to really trouble me, I then went back to my source I meditated. All is what it should be and this is just my path. I will go with my gut and seek out a teacher in the Zen school.
Yours in the Dharma,
Todd