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Why are some people so disrespectful?
What I am wondering about is why there are some people who demand respect, but show now respect themselves. I'll give an example:
For example the Islam religion, they demand respect from everybody, but show often little respect to others. For example in Asia and Europe you will find many cities with people from different religions and people with no religion at all. Everybody has to live together, and respect each others privacy. Every religion mostly have their churches or mosques or other temples. Though every religion is following their religion peacefully, mostly without bothering others.
Only I have noticed that Islam wants to be very present by using very loud speakers to scream through entire cities that their god is the only true god. I think this is very disrespectul to all other non-muslims who live in a city with a mosque.
So why do they want to do that? Why scream your opinion about your god through entire cities and annoy all other people with it.
Same goes with churches and their clocks, which is highly annoying. The only difference with a church is that clocks sound neutral and mostly tell time (even though I have a watch and don't want to hear those clocks), but they don't scream in my ear that Jesus Christ is the true savier.
So why does the Islam want to scream in everybodies ear that their god is the one and only. Why can't they be more respectful towards others, and keep it to themselves, and not disturb the peace of others by keeping silent in public.
How can you deal with this, if you live in a city where you have to hear this 5 times a day. Like say you live in Switzerland in a peaceful mountain village, but your peace is disrupted a couple of times a day when you are forced to listen to the mosque their prayer.
I think a lot of people will start to develop feelings of hate toward this kind of public announcement, so how can you deal with this? How can you live with this and still keep your respect towards their religion? If you don't do anything about it, you will be stuck with it for the rest of your life.. And if you do something about it, then you will have to protest against it and that will cause you to start to develop feelings of hate that you project towards the religion.
So how to deal with this? How to be wise, stay respectful, and how to stay peaceful when you have to listen to something you really don't want to hear?
For example the Islam religion, they demand respect from everybody, but show often little respect to others. For example in Asia and Europe you will find many cities with people from different religions and people with no religion at all. Everybody has to live together, and respect each others privacy. Every religion mostly have their churches or mosques or other temples. Though every religion is following their religion peacefully, mostly without bothering others.
Only I have noticed that Islam wants to be very present by using very loud speakers to scream through entire cities that their god is the only true god. I think this is very disrespectul to all other non-muslims who live in a city with a mosque.
So why do they want to do that? Why scream your opinion about your god through entire cities and annoy all other people with it.
Same goes with churches and their clocks, which is highly annoying. The only difference with a church is that clocks sound neutral and mostly tell time (even though I have a watch and don't want to hear those clocks), but they don't scream in my ear that Jesus Christ is the true savier.
So why does the Islam want to scream in everybodies ear that their god is the one and only. Why can't they be more respectful towards others, and keep it to themselves, and not disturb the peace of others by keeping silent in public.
How can you deal with this, if you live in a city where you have to hear this 5 times a day. Like say you live in Switzerland in a peaceful mountain village, but your peace is disrupted a couple of times a day when you are forced to listen to the mosque their prayer.
I think a lot of people will start to develop feelings of hate toward this kind of public announcement, so how can you deal with this? How can you live with this and still keep your respect towards their religion? If you don't do anything about it, you will be stuck with it for the rest of your life.. And if you do something about it, then you will have to protest against it and that will cause you to start to develop feelings of hate that you project towards the religion.
So how to deal with this? How to be wise, stay respectful, and how to stay peaceful when you have to listen to something you really don't want to hear?
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Comments
Do have this feeling already?
By percieving this religion and it's sounds as something outside yourself and different from yourself is where the problem lies. We are also easily perturbed when our notions of the way things should be (in our mind) does not coincide with the way things are. You are attached to your notions of how other people should act, your attachments result in this suffering. Look for the good in these calls to prayer. Not being Muslim, I would take the opportunity this presents to me, reminding me to be mindful, compassionate and ultimately remember these calls are calls for prayer and devotion for people on that path. As for people wanting to push their religious agenda's, this is not just seen in the Muslim world.
Yours in the Dharma,
Todd
Treat all people with respect and loving-kindness, just as you would like to be treated.
Stay in the moment with the practice of mindfulness, and practise the eightfold path to develop equanimity and loving-kindness.
Namaste
I think you are filled with a lot of anger.
You label it disrespectful.
Let it be what it is.
Stop bothering it and you will stop being bothered.
Remember that it is not he who reviles you or strikes you, who insults you, but it is your opinion about these things as being insulting. When then a man irritates you, you must know that it is your own opinion which has irritated you. Therefore especially try not to be carried away by the appearance. For if you once gain time and delay, you will more easily master yourself.
For example the birds, they demand respect from everybody, but show often little respect to others. For example in Asia and Europe you will find many cities with people and birds. Everybody has to live together, and respect each others privacy. Every group mostly have their trees or electrical poles or other location where they like to group. Though every group is following their assembling peacefully, mostly without bothering others.
Only I have noticed that birds wants to be very present by using very loud voices to scream through entire cities. I think this is very disrespectul to all other non-birds who live in a city with a location where they like to group.
So why do they want to do that? Why scream through entire cities and annoy all other people with it.
Same goes with dogs barking, which is highly annoying. The only difference with a dog is that bark sound neutral and mostly tell that something is going on nearby the dog (even though I have eyes and don't want to hear those barks), but they don't scream in my ear like the birds.
So why does the birds want to scream in everybodies ear? Why can't they be more respectful towards others, and keep it to themselves, and not disturb the peace of others by keeping silent in public.
How can you deal with this, if you live in a city where you have to hear this 5 times a day. Like say you live in Switzerland in a peaceful mountain village, but your peace is disrupted a couple of times a day when you are forced to listen to the birds signing.
I think a lot of people will start to develop feelings of hate toward this kind of public chant, so how can you deal with this? How can you live with this and still keep your respect towards the groups of birds? If you don't do anything about it, you will be stuck with it for the rest of your life.. And if you do something about it, then you will have to protest against it and that will cause you to start to develop feelings of hate that you project towards the birds.
So how to deal with this? How to be wise, stay respectful, and how to stay peaceful when you have to listen to something you really don't want to hear?
with love
Do you respect them even though you obviously question their right to respect?
It sounds to me (and I think to everyone who has answered so far) that in point of fact you are at the stage already where you are projecting feelings of hatred towards Muslims.
you need to look within yourself and question by what authority do you lack respect for them?
people should not have to earn respect, the respect for a fellow human being should be there automatically.
And if you do not respect them, then it is you who is lacking, not they.
I would suggest you investigate Islamic culture and get to know them a little better.
Maybe when you walk a mile in their shoes, you will find it easier to generate bot respect AND compassionate.
if you're attempting to find solidarity here, with regard to your animosity, I fear you will be disappointed.
but if you would like to sincerely know how to relate to them in a kind, compassionate and respectful way, we can try to help....
To me that was just 4 days staying there, but say that you own a house there and live there for years. Then you are forced to get out of bed everyday at 5 AM, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Then even though you are really tired, you must wake up, because the voice announcing through the city is way too loud to ignore.
I can imagine that many non-muslim people who would live there would be really bothered by this. This is not the kind of thing you can ignore, because how can you ignore something that is really loud..
How you can stay peaceful in such circonstances? How can you stay peaceful when you cannot even properly rest, because someone starts making very very loud announcements that keep you from sleeping.
Say that you have lived in your hometown all your life, all your family lives there, and you do not have money to move away, but then mosques start to show up, and then you are forced to listen to really loud announces in the very early morning and 4 others times a day, for the rest of your life.
I want to know how people deal with this, how to stay respectul in these conditions.. I ask this on a buddhist forum, because I hope to find answers to how to keep calm, and how to keep showing respect to all other beings.
Yours in the Dharma,
Todd
I'm not sure about the respect or disrespect of your questions, or if your questions are genuine and not a plea for something to be different. Where you might want to look (apart from the other advice to look inside and see where all this vehemence is coming from) is at the social conditions that have lead some of these people to cling to their ideas so rigidly. The goal isn't to say "their behavior is obviously unjust" but to say "their behavior arrives from somewhere"
So if you look at the regions of origins of the behaviors, the overall spreading of resources across the cultures of the world, and so forth... what is it that you see?
I see most cultures spreading their ideas blaringly from speakers... some in churches, some in our homes, some through the influencing of national and world policies... so the question really remains: "How is this blaring, from all sources, impacting my ability to respond wisely to that which is around me"
With warmth,
Matt
I did not ask this question because of disrespect. I asked this question, because I want to learn about how people deal with these kind of things.
I grew up in a place where there is a lot of discrimination towards people from other cultures. Everyday I see in the eyes of people a lot of hate towards others who have different cultures, who have different physical appearances.
I do not want to be a person who has thoughts of racism, I do not want to be a person who has thoughts of hate. I do not know any one who can teach me about staying peaceful and respectful in a place with so much rasicm.
That's why I came to this forum, because buddhism has many meaningful answers. If you want to live in a multi cultural society, then people must be civilized and respect each other, I agree with that completely. That is why I think it is important to find for ways to be respectul and civilized.
If someone gets troubled with something, then it's better to find out how to deal with it, than to ignore it. For those reasons I posted this question. I did not post this question out of disrespect and I did not post this to state an opinion.
Same with christianity, it's NOT the followers of that religion that I dislike, it's about that things like "gay-marriage" is forbidden, because it doesn't fit the idea of christianity religion because god is said to create "man and women" and not "woman and woman" or "man and man".
It's about "live your life your own way, but do not disturb others", but some people in christianity live their lives, but forbids gay marriage. so they disturb gay people.
But for the same example, instead of the announcements of the mosque, I could have talked about having neighbours who play very loud music every evening. I also had neighbours like that for many years, I would get angry with them because they kept on playing their loud music.
It led to dislike between me and my neighbours. So can say "accept their loud music every evening, even though you got home tired from work". But that's ignoring it, and you will put your feelings away and look away from your feelings.
I want to reach a point where i can honestly say that I'm not bothered by loud public announcements in languages I cannot understand, and that I am not bothered that gay marriage is forbidden because of religious beliefs of others. I am not even gay, but it bothers me that people try to control other people..
I want to understand how Dalai Llama can say: "I still feel love for the people who killed and hurt my people. When his country was invaded and many people where killed."
I don't just want to read about it, and just acknoledge it, I want to UNDERSTAND how he can feel such compassion for others.
But if you ignore the things that bother you, instead of learning about them, you will never reach a point of peace of mind. That is why I turned to buddhism. I want to know how to be compassionate to all other people, with all their ideas and beliefs. But if I am not honest about how I feel about things that bother me, how can I learn from them?
========================
The Swing is Yellow wrote:
Look for the good in these calls to prayer. Not being Muslim, I would take the opportunity this presents to me, reminding me to be mindful, compassionate and ultimately remember these calls are calls for prayer and devotion for people on that path.
========================
This answer from The Swing is Yellow got me thinking, this is the kind of answer I am looking for, this answer is something I can learn from. This is the kind of answer that made me look into Buddhism.
With no disrepect to other answers, most other answers tell me to ignore the things I am bothered by, and that it is me being "disrespectful" by being bothered by it. Maybe I am disrespectful to be bothered by it, but I'm genuine in trying to develop compassion, I'm genuine in my effort to learn from the things I'm bothered, so that they eventually will not bother me and that I can look at those things as opportunities to learn from.
That is why I posted this question.
PattBB had a good response, and let me give you a personal example that relates to this strongly. I am living in Cuba now, and guard dogs are used a lot to protect houses. It is normal here to leave your dog out all night, and there's no chance a noise complaint can be filed either as social service is entirely different. The dogs bark all night, and it is widely talked about killing them amongst some of the other diplomats. I too find this difficult, as I can barely sleep. The dogs are trained to protect ground, a cultural convention, just as it's a cultural convention for the city you describe to have this call to prayer at 5:00am.
Yes, it is difficult to overcome distastes to people, cultures, music, ...anything. But why allow yourself to feel that way? Does expressing the distaste to the way a part of the world operates make you happier? Gil Fronsdal has an excellent guided mindfulness meditation that will help you acknowledge these feelings, and simply allow them to pass, let me know if you would like it and I'll hook you up!
With Loving Kindness
But since you clarified and you seem to be genuinely honest with your request, then no problem
welcome to the forum
I suggest you use the search function and look around for threads on how to get started with Buddhism. There were many very useful threads filled with wisdom and experiences.
Part 1: http://www.zencast.org/index.php?post_id=33409
Part 2: http://amberstar.libsyn.com/index.php?post_id=35116
Thanks for getting my point.
Rbastien, thanks for the links, I've listened to a small part of it already and the things she talks about are really helpful. My commute to work takes about 1,5 hours in the morning, so I'll use it tomorrow morning to listen to the recording in detail. Thanks.
And so I read you wrong.
And I apologise, unreservedly.
you've had some excellent advice (from those who actually got your point!)
The Dalai Lama's book, "The Art of happiness" (written with Howard Cutler) is an excellent book to read and gain insight into precisely how he manages this.
Also, "A policy of Kindness" again, by HH the DL. Both excellent guides in the art of co-existing with others.
Sorry to be disrespectful, but in my country ( Romania) the Mulsims are really nice people , whom you can have a nice and decent conversation. As for other places...I think it depends on the type of mentality adopted by their Imams(The Islamic equivalent of Xstian priests, I think). Imean, if they adopt fundamental Islam , then you'll get terrorists. If you adopt the ancient version of Islam ( the one that encouraged science and development), yeah, you'll get a nice and peace loving community.
As far as I'm concerned with bothering non-Islamic with the loud speakers which announce prayer, in my country the Orthodox Churces use these kind of things mostly to attract the 'believers in Jesus Christ, the defender of the Romanian people' (somehat of a quote from an Orthodox forum) .
They're really bothering (these speakers). Now, I'm disrespectful to Christian religion !:D. And to continue with my lack of respect, I can tell you that Christians ( fundamental, orthodox-> reffering to my country) are worse that muslims living in the same place(the muslim population of Romania consists of Turks, and Tatars<mongols>) .
I won't give examples, but if you want to talk about them...ask for them
What do we think about the Taliban who destroyed the giant Buddha carvings in the Bamyan valley of Afghanistan because they were sacrilegious graven images made by infidels (their words, or a semblance thereof)?? Which statues, btw, were designated a World Heritage Site by UNESCO...
Mtns
I think the Taliban destroyed giant Buddha carvings in the Bamyan valley of Afghanistan. Is there really a need to go further?
While it is nice if any religious group would follow their religion in a way which is not a disturbance to anyone else, it is better not to conflict with this sound too much to the point that it becomes a noise. Let it go and relax into the reality of here and now. It is just the way it is. They use it becasue that's the way they follow their religion. If it is possible you can make a request to reduce the sounds but if not so be it. There can come worse situations in your life that you really cannot change. Learning to accept them as they are is a good way to avoid stress.
Is why people are disrespectful.
Goes for you too.
(You know, I actually am Islamic and I drive around in my truck, with speakers in the back
Just blasting the word of Allah throughout the town....because I get paid to do it and I believe it is good for people, instead of all your America = Burgers and American Idol..
I do my job to reinforce MY PEOPLE...i'm sorry I don't think about NON-Islam people.
Because I am under the impression they are just wrong and need instruction from Allah.)
hmmmmm?
:PWNED:
One of the things that will prevent habituation is negative self talk about the stimulus and thinking about how much it disturbs you. Some people think the call to prayer and church bells are beautiful sounds and are signs of the spiritual search that we are all engaged in.
One way to approach the fact that there is a 5am call to prayer is to go to bed earlier. Acknowledge that what you are doing is meeting your needs for sleep rather than getting angry that 'you are being told what to do by others'. In addition, if you are woken and can't return to sleep then spend the time in meditation or listening to a Buddhist talk as a you lie in bed.
Namaste
Lol
Have you considered noise-cancelling ear buds... very small, non intrusive, easy to sleep with, and will cancel all external noise. Similar to the ones used on airplanes for listening to your iPod. Carry a set with you, and use them when you need to. Combat technology with technology, and maintain your peace.
Namaste.
For example the xyz religion, they demand respect from everybody, but show often little respect to others.[/QUOTE]
I don't think stereotyping helps. we could stay that about any religion.
Screaming to your ears is music to another's ears. Additionally I think this practice is largely cultural. I haven't read the Quaran but I have never heard anyone say that this practice is in there. I could be dead wrong.
Compassion and patience. remember they are just beings trying to be happy just like us.
This is a great opportunity to practice mindfulness and not react 5 times a day!
Though I think mindfulness is a state we attempt to stay in - rather than only practice every now and then.
when ever faced with difficulty - there is a way to find the dharma within.
I whole-heartedly agree!