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whats the point
Fenix
Veteran
Im 20. I know a life time of unhappiness is my future. Everyone is acting like everything is fine??! Drinking smoking like they will be fine, sugar plums and fairy dust. Im unhappy know not doing what everyone else is doing, but I know doing it will only temporarily make me happy if even that. whats the point? why cant everyone just stop being so silly?
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Comments
I hope that you can take refuge in the buddha, dharma, and sangha and use the suffering you are experiencing as a goad to practice.
I hope my piece is helpful and I hope you come in contact with someone wiser and better to help you. But yeah you just keep trucking and 'doing the best we can'.
Hi Fenix,
Why would you imagine that a lifetime of unhappiness is your future.?
If you're interested in Buddhism then I suggest you investigate the Buddha's teachings and see if perhaps you could join a meditation class.
If you're being sensible and not drinking and smoking like your friends, then that's really good. Looking outwards at their actions isn't going to help you much in the long term though. Best to get yourself sorted out first.
I wish you good health and much happiness.
Kind regards,
Dazzle
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I already practice meditation, have been for 5 months now. I have been on my own for a year now. I would really like to have friends. All my current friends that being 2 people or only one actually like to hang out, smoke drink like I said. I would love to do this and enjoy it also, but I have done it and dont enjoy it. I envy my friends they seem to have it so easy.
you read dhammapada.
It might be good for you to look for a Buddhist centre or Buddhist meditation group so that you can make more friends and socialise a little, Fenix.
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Seek help if you need it and "break" your depression. Good buddhist friends may help too.
Good luck
/Victor
I can relate a lot to what you are saying. I'm 23 and started becoming disenchanted with the "lets just get drunk and high" mentality a couple of years ago. You are wise enough to see that its a total fantasy world that your fellow 20 year olds are living in, not associating with such people is a good idea. For a while when I stopped drinking I had no friends and I did feel lonely or like an outcast from time to time. But rest assured it is much better to have no friends than bad friends. But its even better if, like Dazzle has suggested, you seek out spiritually mature friends.
You don't know a lifetime of unhappiness is your future, the way you feel now is impermanent. Whatever perceptions you have of the future will be tainted by your current frame of mind, so don't worry about the future. Just do the best you can today to stay out of trouble and be a good person, the future will take care of itself if you take care of the present moment.
A good mantra that I try to remind myself of, both in and out of meditation, especially when I am feeling negative is: "Make peace, be kind, be gentle, be patient" (thanks to Ajahn Brahm).
Or, to prevent it becoming robotic, you can ask yourself "Am I making peace (with what I am currently experiencing)?" then pause and see if you are or not:
- If you are, then ask yourself "Am I being kind (to myself)?"
- If not, then cultivate that quality of being at peace with things.
Then repeat for "Am I being gentle?" and "Am I being patient?"
It works for me, here's hoping it will help you. And remember, that if you aren't getting the results you want soon enough then you should probably answer "no" to "Am I being patient?"
With Metta,
Guy
I'm 20 too bro. I used to smoke and drink, stopped that because it wasn't getting me to where I had to be. It wasn't easy at first but the friends who still stood by my decisions were those who are my real friends anyways. Life can feel very burdensome at times. Were at a crossroads at this point; not really sure where to go or what to do. My advice to you is the advice I've given myself: Take life moment to moment. Make an effort to see things as they are. Emotions will come and go, thoughts will come and go, even our bodies will come and go. Life will carry on whether you want it to or not. I don't know anything about your situation and why the 'future' would seem so bleak, but all we have is the present moment. People will smoke, drink and act silly whether or not you want them to or not. That's not your problem. Stop reacting and start acting.
I also did all of these things,but over time began to let it go.
So now I feel healthier,do not worry about being drug tested(I spend a lot of time in Thailand)by the police or suffer from blackouts(must have been a good night,I cant remember a thing).
It would be great if you can find a group,where you can meditate under the guidance of a good teacher.
Often when we meditate alone,without having first received proper guidance we can be unsure of the feelings we are having during the meditation sessions.
Good luck with your future practice,
With metta,Greg
Life is pretty low on meaning and very low on length. Maybe being silly is a coping mechanism? Or maybe its just fun?
In many ways the first noble truth is a bit silly: We have this amazing thing called "being alive" and yet, built into its very fabric is universal Dukka. You might think that that is a bit silly, but I don't think you could think it is stupid.
namaste