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Getting "Back in Practice"

KBuckKBuck
edited January 2006 in Buddhism Today
Hello All,
Up until about a year ago, I had a regular routine of practice. I would sit for about 30 minutes daily, and couldn't get enough buddhist literature to read.

All this changed when I met my (now) wife. While she herself is a nominal buddhist, she doesn't have a practice. I also have three step children now as well, making private time at a serious premium. I'm certainly much happier now that I was before, but I've lost much of the self discipline I had before I stopped meditating. I've gained back weight I struggled very hard to lose, and I have much less control of my anger. And if any of you have small children, you know how big a problem that is.

Does anyone elso on the forum have a large family? If so, how do you manage to practice? I feel like I've gone from a pretty "good" buddhist (KBuck, a.k.a. Tenzin Dorje) to being a mere dabbler.

Anyone have any advice?

Comments

  • BrianBrian Detroit, MI Moderator
    edited September 2005
    I have two kids and a dog. That can be busy a lot of times, while not necessarily "big". My kids are both elementary school aged, and my wife and I both work full time. It's rough - our week is very hectic. I wake up, get kids off to school, go to work, come home, see wife for ten minutes (if that), she goes to work, I get kids to bed, I wait for her, she comes home, we go to bed. Rinse and repeat 5 out of 7 days a week. Not a whole lot of time for formal 'practice' in there, right? Especially with homework, dinner, breakfast, laundry, etc.

    Ah! But this provides me with the perfect opportunity for practice. Find your practice in your moment. Every moment you spend with the children is practice. Every time you get angry, you have a great chance to practice right in front of you :)

    Tell me, what is the difference between sitting in a quiet place for formal meditation for 30 minutes a day, and cooking dinner for yourself, or wiping your butt for that matter? ;)


    PS: Welcome to newbuddhist.com :thumbsup:
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited September 2005
    It's much "easier" to practise disciplines when you are to all intents and purposes, a free agent... your time is your own, and therefore the structure of your day is more or less under your control.... Once others come into the equasion, we have to shift our parameters... certain sacrifices have to be made, to accommodate the "invasion".... But instead of harbouring resentment (and I'm sure it's not malicious - it is probably unconscious!) I would suggest perhaps, as Brian has said that the best thing would be to incorporate them into - if not make them part or the whole of - your practise.
    It's a mind-set.... decide how you would like this to affect you, rather than to permit it to affect you negatively....

    Buddha pointed out that those who rub us up the wrong way, are the very masters we should seek. Not sure he used this terminology exactly, but you get the gist.... Our loved ones are more often than not the buffers in our life, for the private side of our emotions, whatever they be. Having inherited these children (and well done you, by the way!!) view them as tiny little horrendous bundles of Wisdom - !! Keep at it, and let us know how you fare.
  • KBuckKBuck
    edited September 2005
    The only difference is difficulty level I suppose. My life these days reminds me of a line from the movie (and book, I suppose) "The Razor's Edge". Bill Murray, who is about to leave a Buddhist monastary in which he lived for many years asks the abbot: "Is it true that the easiest thing in the world to be is a priest in a temple?"

    "You are about to find out" replied the abbot.
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited September 2005
    KBuck wrote:
    The only difference is difficulty level I suppose. My life these days reminds me of a line from the movie (and book, I suppose) "The Razor's Edge". Bill Murray, who is about to leave a Buddhist monastary in which he lived for many years asks the abbot: "Is it true that the easiest thing in the world to be is a priest in a temple?"

    "You are about to find out" replied the abbot.

    Excellent point both you and Brian make.

    It's easy to "feel" you are a Christian while sitting in a church or a Buddhist meditating - because you're in an element that supports your practice - at that moment.

    But I've known many Christians that by the time they leave the church - they wouldn't be able to SPELL church if their life depended on it.

    I find for myself that meditating is an escape. It allows me to slow down and re-focus myself. On the other hand - it's during work, my interaction with family, loved ones, etc. that I find I have to "use" the Eightfold Path.

    Thats' where the work is... for me.

    -bf
  • zenmonk_genryuzenmonk_genryu
    edited January 2006
    The whole of the Eightfold Path is already contained in meditation. You may feel like meditation is an escape but in reality, it isn't if it's done with attention. It's the opposite of trying to escape. It's refreshing because you give up at least some of the struggle to escape when you meditate.
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited January 2006
    The original thread was started in september last year.... ZenMonk, your post was but a short time ago... in that space of time, I have come to realise that your comments are absolutely spot on....
    I sometimes go on about the 8FP ad nauseam... and I'm sorry; But without wishing to sound big-headed, It is never out of my Consciousness....!
  • SimonthepilgrimSimonthepilgrim Veteran
    edited January 2006
    I know what you mean, Fede. The Noble Eighfold Path and the Four Noble Truths are like a touchstone which I have swallowed and against which I can test my interactions within and without.
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