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My approach to Buddhism.
NamelessRiver
Veteran
Hello guys. I just wanna share some ideas.
As I see it, Buddhism is a tool, a way to improve our lives. In order to use that tool the first thing a person should do is to look deep into themselves and find what is it they want from life.
It doesn't have to be a mystical experience of deep reflection. I'll give an example using my own life:
First, I'll rate this areas in my life from 0-10 in terms of satisfaction (you can try this too with the same areas):
Personal Growth: 8
Fun and Recreation: 7
Physical Environment: 6
Career: 8
Money: 5
Heath: 9
Friends and Family: 6
Significant other\Romance: 10
So, I can see I have lower scores on Money and Physical Environment. Great, now let's see what tools I can use to make my situation in each case better, at this point you could do some brainstorming:
Money -> I could get a new job, I could get a second job, I could start teaching, I could open a bookstore, I could become a monk and stop worrying :crazy: (Many solutions that don't need a buddhist approach).
Physical Environment-> I could get some new chairs because the ones I have bother me, I could re-paint the walls, I could get a few plants, I could get a reproduction of my favorite painting from the chinese dude across the street :crazy: (No buddhist approach).
Friends and family -> I have an irascible temper that gets on people's nerves and makes me feel bad. I could try...Loving-kindness meditation? (ok so this is where Buddhism is gonna do me good).
The reason I know loving-kindness meditations might help is because, reading about Buddhism in books or over the internet I have read that loving-kindness is supposed to help me with that.
The simplest tools in Buddhism are usually the best, as I see it.
I don't think, however, Buddhism is the best solution for everything. Sometimes, it is best to just buy an ice-cream than seek dispassion from the pleasure of eating, if you know what I am saying.
What I observe is that Buddhist ideas (or any religion for that matter) can be highly repressive for some people. It's the old "I know I shouldn't be depressed because everything is empty or this is karma or [insert another excuse]" but the person is actually falling apart. It becomes repressive when, instead of focusing on what you need, you focus on Buddhism like it's the generic solution for everything.
It's always important to notice that many people aren't looking for enlightenment. They are looking for fulfillment, which is different, and you don't really need to get down to topics like tantric sadhanas or emptiness to have a fulfilling life.
For me, being fulfilled means knowing your values (ask yourself what values were present at the times you were most happy, or you felt the most successful. Also try to prospect for values when you think the kind of life you want to have.), knowing which ones you are acting against, or acting in accordance with, knowing what do you really want from life - or making a life project in accordance with your values (Imagine yourself in 5, 10, 20 years from now, what what your life would be like? how would it feel? what would your future self be doing? Heck, if you believe in rebirth, imagine yourself in 500 mortal years in a future lifetime
), and acting on it.
Buddhism should be a tool to get you to the point you want or the person you want to be - and this can obviously include being enlightened, which is perfectly possible. But the sutras won't answer for you this question: what do you really want from life?
This is actually me answering the question of another thread:
I just wanted to point out what I think is the most important thing a beginner should know.
As I see it, Buddhism is a tool, a way to improve our lives. In order to use that tool the first thing a person should do is to look deep into themselves and find what is it they want from life.
It doesn't have to be a mystical experience of deep reflection. I'll give an example using my own life:
First, I'll rate this areas in my life from 0-10 in terms of satisfaction (you can try this too with the same areas):
Personal Growth: 8
Fun and Recreation: 7
Physical Environment: 6
Career: 8
Money: 5
Heath: 9
Friends and Family: 6
Significant other\Romance: 10
So, I can see I have lower scores on Money and Physical Environment. Great, now let's see what tools I can use to make my situation in each case better, at this point you could do some brainstorming:
Money -> I could get a new job, I could get a second job, I could start teaching, I could open a bookstore, I could become a monk and stop worrying :crazy: (Many solutions that don't need a buddhist approach).
Physical Environment-> I could get some new chairs because the ones I have bother me, I could re-paint the walls, I could get a few plants, I could get a reproduction of my favorite painting from the chinese dude across the street :crazy: (No buddhist approach).
Friends and family -> I have an irascible temper that gets on people's nerves and makes me feel bad. I could try...Loving-kindness meditation? (ok so this is where Buddhism is gonna do me good).
The reason I know loving-kindness meditations might help is because, reading about Buddhism in books or over the internet I have read that loving-kindness is supposed to help me with that.
The simplest tools in Buddhism are usually the best, as I see it.
I don't think, however, Buddhism is the best solution for everything. Sometimes, it is best to just buy an ice-cream than seek dispassion from the pleasure of eating, if you know what I am saying.
What I observe is that Buddhist ideas (or any religion for that matter) can be highly repressive for some people. It's the old "I know I shouldn't be depressed because everything is empty or this is karma or [insert another excuse]" but the person is actually falling apart. It becomes repressive when, instead of focusing on what you need, you focus on Buddhism like it's the generic solution for everything.
It's always important to notice that many people aren't looking for enlightenment. They are looking for fulfillment, which is different, and you don't really need to get down to topics like tantric sadhanas or emptiness to have a fulfilling life.
For me, being fulfilled means knowing your values (ask yourself what values were present at the times you were most happy, or you felt the most successful. Also try to prospect for values when you think the kind of life you want to have.), knowing which ones you are acting against, or acting in accordance with, knowing what do you really want from life - or making a life project in accordance with your values (Imagine yourself in 5, 10, 20 years from now, what what your life would be like? how would it feel? what would your future self be doing? Heck, if you believe in rebirth, imagine yourself in 500 mortal years in a future lifetime
), and acting on it.Buddhism should be a tool to get you to the point you want or the person you want to be - and this can obviously include being enlightened, which is perfectly possible. But the sutras won't answer for you this question: what do you really want from life?
This is actually me answering the question of another thread:
Should it be right or wrong to discuss emptiness in this the Beginner's Forum.
I just wanted to point out what I think is the most important thing a beginner should know.
0
Comments
No it shouldn't. It should be what Siddhartha Gautama intended it for, namely release from suffering in this lifetime.
Who is represented in the picture in your avatar?
I believe you misunderstand the point of Buddhism... You seem to think it is something too do to get more of what you want and to make things better for you externally...
Buddhism is not a tool... It is a prescription to end suffering... it has a symptom (suffering), a diagnosis (clinging), a realization that their is a cure (suffering can end) and a medication to lead to the curing of suffering (the eight fold path)...
All the quotes from above indicate things you are clinging too and which cause you suffering... What you suggest to do is cling more tightly to find happiness or fulfillment... Buddhism directs one to do the opposite, to loosen ones grip and to let go...
It works... I have done it for a few things already... I no longer crave pop, I now mostly drink water or tea... I no longer crave television, and will not turn one on to watch. This gives me more time to be mindful and actually enjoy life more... At one point I had instantly released my craving for coffee (I was drinking 3-4 a day and had 3-4 teaspoons of sugar in each) After 6 months of not experiencing the craving I lost 20 lbs... Since then I admit I have a few coffee a week with 1-2 teaspoons of sugar (I admit, I am not perfect and realize even now writing this that I will again let go of the craving of coffee)...
Buddhism is not just another tool in a Bat-man like utility belt... One cannot get much from it if they only take it out when they believe they need it... it would be like a doctor giving you an antibiotic and you deciding that instead of taking 2 pills three times a day you figure you need only take a pill every other day... The symptom will always remain... uncured...
Anyways, that's just my point of view...
I have no problem with where you are coming from. After all, we are all looking for happiness and fulfillment, and it is ever the province of youth to be full of ourselves and think our solutions come from altering our circumstances.
If you pass your 60th birthday, however, you will reflect back and understand that:
1. Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them (Henry David Thoreau).
2. The Fulfilled are the exceptions. They are not desperate ... they are merely dissatisfied and restless and wondering what went wrong.
And if you practice Buddhism more than a decade you will know that:
1. A sound Buddhist practice has the opposite effect of repression, opening you up totally to being alive.
2. Focusing on what one needs IS the problem.
2. Buddhism IS the generic solution for everything!:p
As I see it, the important thing is not what you drink and don't drink, or if you watch tv or not. The important thing is, that you do not crave for tv or cofee. You can enjoy a cup of nice cofee, but if it's not available and you want it, you simply say "I long for cofee, I don't have to long for cofee, I don't have to drink cofee" and let it go. You no longer want cofee. Just like when meditating thoughts arise and we let them go.
And just as we act with compassion towards our selves and our thoughts when they do arise, we should act with compassion when we find ourselves longing for something or clinging
Hey FoibleFull...
A decade is not necessary for everyone... Although I have read about Buddhism on and off over the last 15 years I have never really practiced it or done much more than just read about it...
It has only been several months that I have truly embraced Buddhism and have already come to the conclusion of your above three points... It is a matter of ones ability to let go... As I have indicated in another thread i have had numerous life experiences that taught me harshly about letting go... Ones that up until recently I felt I needed some type of closure too as they have hurt me for so long...
So I add to my above list of things I have let go of is the hurts of my past and blaming others for having done me wrong... I no longer need apologies or even the need to personally forgive those transgressions... I appreciate the lessons I have learned from them and accept them... I have let go of the hurt...
Oh... and I guess I can add also the letting go of life itself, for as i mentioned in yet another thread about a time I choked on food and struggled and fought to clear my throat... it was not until I let go, i accepted that death was upon me... I became relaxed and within my mind had no thoughts of fear or sorrow but total acceptance... It was then that the food dislodged and i was able to breath once more...
And that is the essence of Buddhism... Letting go to end suffering...
Silly rabbits.
With warmth,
Matt
I'll strike this one up as a lesson in letting go of my preconceived notions of what Buddhism is and is not for...
Avalokiteshvara in one of his forms, methinks :-)
What would that place in the middle look like for you? :-)
Mostly, internally.
Yes, it works. But I have to be honest with myself, I'm not aiming for final release.
Maybe. Right now I am not in that place, so it would feel forced to behave like it. :S
I'm not aiming for final release either, however, less suffering is always welcome...
One of the standard exercises for young Buddhist seekers, especially for Tibetans, is to go spend a night or a few in a cemetery- and in traditional Tibetan practice, a cemetery is an open-air sort of thing, that is, the bodies are left out in the open for the animals to eat. I guess my point is that Buddhism is for the most part preparation for death, or preparation for being separated from that which we cling to, so that "feeling forced" is a usual part of early Buddhist practice. I think Pat's point is that we do these exercises so that we are familiar with these situations when we do get to "that place".
I think it's important to note that this is obviously a place where beginners come to learn about Buddhism. I note that the thread on emptiness got moved, probably because it was getting too complex and may have been misleading to beginners or just confusing. So I don't think there should be any confusion here.
So, in the spirit of "I just wanted to point out what I think is the most important thing a beginner should know.", I will do that too. You are of course free to do anything you want to do with your life, and if fulfillment in this life is what you want to do, that's what's right for you.
Just don't call it Buddhism.
About the same as most everything looks like.
Who's pat?
patbb
Oops. Misquote.
I guess it was FoibleFull, talking about when death is approaching.
metta
Totally agree. It's not so much what we do, but why we do it. One moment I can be watching TV and just enjoying it, relaxing. Another moment I might feel scared or tense and turn on the TV as means of escape. Looks like the same action, but in one case I am free, and in the other case I am acting compulsively.
I loved your entire post. You cultivated the path and it become your own. You went beyond pages in a book or the words of another, and found an approach based on your own reflections, creativity and intelligence. Bravo! :cool:
Personally (keyword here) I became interested in it as a tool. I decided to practice after reading "the Art of Happiness" and though I've immersed myself in the philosophies, I don't desire enlightenment, more so I just wanted to cultivate my compassion and find purpose in the life I lead. However, I also believe that it is a mistake to think enlightenment as something mystical. I believe it is just an altered state of perception, so to me Buddhism training is more a reconditioning of the mind to step away from the broken state societal restriction and misunderstanding of the world has turned it into, and to reawaken or tap into it's potential.
So I don't know which side I'd take. I don't believe in anything mystical, and consider everything a tool in the sense it can thus be utilized in some way. In metaphor, buddhism itself isn't the tool, the brain would be the tool, Buddhism is the smith, reworking and refining the tool so it best suits it's purpose.
I also think debating what Buddhism is, is fine. But telling someone it's this or that is kind of silly when one considers that one of the most famous ideas of the Buddha was to understand through ones own experience, and use teachers, but come to the answers on his/her own. The Dalai Lama also seems to support this, having said that in truth there would be as many religions as there are people.
My Buddhism is my own, and it's not really a religion.
Sorry Namelessriver, I got caught up in the responses...
In the open market of ideas, it's different strokes for different folks.
But, focusing on Buddhism as the solution allows one to realize that we really don't need the things that we think we need to begin with. So what it essentially does is remove the needs and when there are no more needs, there is nothing left to repress.
I want to have no more wants.:)
Can you provide a source for this statement please, SherabDorje?
Also, are you refering to Tibetans living in Tibet under Chinese rule, or Tibetans in exile?
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I believe he's referring to charnel grounds. I've heard about them in some of the Buddhist books I've read. Here's a wiki page that mentions some things about them and how they were used for meditation. Very scary places I imagine!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charnel_ground
Experience tells us much about what desires can be met without a lot of hassle. When we are young the sky is the limit. But as time goes on, we learn that what we want, even when achieved is not very /if at all satisfying. Maybe that is what "wisdom" is all about. We have been disappointed so many times in getting and pursuing what we think we want, that we become smart or realistic about the actuality of obtaining the desired ends. We do not know this until we experience it. Remember the phrase "hindsight is 20 x 20 vision". In Buddhism we call this ignorance....and it is the basis of suffering.....if only we knew what we do not know from the start, it would relieve us of a lot of grief!
Hi Cristina,
Yes I already know what charnel grounds are - and there's also something called 'sky burial' which I think the Chinese still allow in some parts of Tibet. However I haven't heard of any present day charnel grounds where present day young Tibetans spend a night or two:
"One of the standard exercises for young Buddhist seekers, especially for Tibetans, is to go spend a night or a few in a cemetery- and in traditional Tibetan practice, a cemetery is an open-air sort of thing, that is, the bodies are left out in the open for the animals to eat"
Which is why I'm asking for evidence to support the above statement.
.
I don't know that they actually do it any more at all. There are probably no charnel grounds available to Tibetans in exile. It's probably not allowed for the Tibetans under Chinese rule. It's a classic practice, but it's probably not done any more.
My whole point is that meditation on the closeness and ever-present possibility of death by way of this practice is intended to remind the seeker of these things, and turn the mind away from material pursuits and less-than-ultimate pursuits. My whole point is that Buddhism is not intended to be an instrument for lifestyle pursuits, but is intended to be a truly serious path beyond all lifestyle pursuits.
The link to Wikipedia suffices to make my point. I am in fact suggesting to NamelessRiver that, depending on his circumstances, he do something that approximates this. If he can spend some nights in a modern conventional cemetery, that might work. Or go for a walk in one during the daytime for a few days sequentially- whatever possibility presents itself for him.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charnel_ground
Who knows though. This might just raise the "Fun and Recreation" from 7 to 8 points.
My point is, (having been a Tibetan Buddhist practitioner myself for many years) that you should be careful to get you facts right for the benefit of people reading your posts - who may be mislead into thinking that you are speaking from personal knowledge of these things.
Kind regards,
Dazzle
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There is sufficient anecdotal evidence to support that this was a classic practice. But that's not really my point and it really doesn't matter if it's currently practiced or not. The point is that Buddhism is in large part preparation for death, and the OP is talking about using Buddhism instrumentally for gain in this lifetime. Corpse meditation is still done, whether or not it's done in charnel grounds in Tibet. And that's what my point is. Here:
http://www.katinkahesselink.net/tibet/Thich-Nhat-Hanh-meditation.html
Thich Nhat Hanh
Short Meditation Quotations
Old school charnal grounds are probably rare if they exist anymore at all but any kind of cemetery or "scary" place will suffice.
The different locations are used for different practices and they can very quite a bit.
There are American practitioners who practice in cemeteries etc. right now here in the states.
Granted SherabDorje that this suttra does seem to have the purpose of preparing us for death, but this is just one Suttra... There are many suttras that do not... I don't think Buddhism's "goal" can be then summed up as what one suttra expounds on...
I think it is better for a person to take whatever they can from Buddhism, whether it is, as has been mentioned, as a tool or even just subliminal information that still has some effect on an individuals thoughts and actions...
A little is better than none...
If someone is looking for fulfillment and can use Buddhism to do so then perhaps they will simply find that fulfillment with a less likely chance of hurting others in doing so... Who knows, the more a tool is used the more likely one will want to incorporate more tools from the same bag...
Now that is showing true wisdom. Kudos!
"If you cultivate a sense of the uncertainty of the time of death, you will make better use of your time."
<style type="text/css"> <!-- @page { margin: 0.79in } P { margin-bottom: 0.08in } H1 { margin-bottom: 0.08in } H1.western { font-family: "Times New Roman", serif } H1.cjk { font-family: "SimSun" } H1.ctl { font-family: "Tahoma" } H3 { margin-bottom: 0.08in } H3.cjk { font-family: "SimSun" } H5 { margin-bottom: 0.08in } H5.cjk { font-family: "SimSun" } A:link { so-language: zxx } --> </style> Preparing to Die
By His Holiness the XIV Dalai Lama
Advice on Dying : And Living a Better Life, Chapter 3 : Preparing to Die : pages 94 • 98, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Translated & Edited by Jeffrey Hopkins, Atria Books • 2002 • New York
http://www.katinkahesselink.net/tibet/dalai5.html
One reaches the end
With fine threads woven throughout ,
So is the life of humans .
It is in the nature of cyclic existence that what has gathered will eventually disperse -- parents, children, brothers, sisters, and friends. No matter how much friends like each other , eventually they must separate. Gurus and students, parents and children, brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, and friends -- no matter who they are -- must eventually separate .
While my senior tutor, Ling Rinpochay, was healthy, it was almost impossible, unbearable, for me to think about his death. For me, he was always like a very solid rock on which I could rely. I wondered how I could survive without him. But when he suffered a stroke, after which there was a second, very serious stroke, eventually the situation allowed part of my mind to think, " Now it would be better for him to go." Sometimes I have even thought that he deliberately took on that illness, so that when he did actually pass away, I would be ready to handle the next task -- to search for his reincarnation .
In addition to separating from all of our friends, the wealth and resources that accumulate over time -- no matter how marvelous they are -- eventually become unusable. No matter how high your rank or position, you must eventually fall. To remind myself of this, when I ascend the high platform from which I teach, just as I am sitting down, I recite to myself the words of the Diamond Cutter Sutra about impermanence:
To be like twinkling stars, figments seen with an eye disease ,
The flickering light of a butter lamp, magical illusions,
Dew, bubbles, dreams, lightning, and clouds .
Any living being -- no matter how long he or she lives -- must eventually die. There is no other way. Once you dwell within cyclic existence, you cannot live outside of its nature. No matter how marvelous things may be, it is built into their very nature that they and you, who take joy in them , must degenerate in the end.
Not only must you die in the end, but you do not know when the end will come. If you did, you could put off preparing for the future. Even if you show signs of living to a ripe old age, you cannot say with one hundred percent certainty that today you will not die.
You must not procrastinate. Rather, you should make preparations so that even if you did die tonight, you would have no regrets. If you develop an appreciation for the uncertainty and imminence of death, your sense of the importance of using your time wisely will get stronger and stronger. As the Tibetan scholar-yogi Tsongkhapa says:
there is no way to stay doing nothing.
When its great meaning is seen , passing the time
senselessly is a cause of sorrow.
When death is contemplated , preparation to go
to the next life is made.
When actions and their effects are contemplated ,
sources of non-conscientiousness are turned away.
When in this way these four roots have become firm,
Other virtuous practices easily grow.
Both parties know it is a lie. It is ridiculous!
Sometimes even patients suffering from terminal diseases such as cancer avoid using the words 'die' or 'death'. I find it almost impossible to speak with them about their impending death; they resist hearing about it. But for one who cannot now face even the word ' death', never mind the reality of it, the actual arrival of death is likely to bring with it great discomfort and fear .
On the other hand, when I meet with a practitioner who appears to be near death , I do not hesitate to say, ' Whether you die or recover, you need preparation for both.' It is possible for us to reflect together on the imminence of death. There is no need to hide anything, for that person is prepared to face death with no regret. A practitioner who, early on, thinks about impermanence is much more courageous and happy while dying. Reflecting on the uncertainty of the time of death develops a mind that is peaceful, disciplined, and virtuous, because it is dwelling on more than the superficial stuff of this short lifetime .
Summary Advice
- If you cultivate a sense of the uncertainty of the time of death, you will make better use of your time.
- To prevent procrastination with regard to spiritual practice, take care not to come under the influence of the illusion of permanence.
- Realize that no matter how wonderful a situation may be, its nature is such that it must end.
- Do not think that there will be time later.
- Be frank about facing your own death. Skillfully encourage others to be frank about their deaths . Do not deceive each other with compliments when the time of death is near. Honesty will foster courage and joy.
Advice on Dying : And Living a Better Life, Chapter 3 : Preparing to Die : pages 94 • 98, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Translated & Edited by Jeffrey Hopkins, Atria Books • 2002 • New YorkI appreciate the wisdom you're offering in two ways. Your responses to Dazzle have been mild, which is admirable and a good example for all of us when dealing with odd reactions. Also, the descriptions you gave of the practice of cemetery meditation, helping us come to terms with the nature of life, is spot on and something that I think many of us could benefit from.
I go and sit in a cemetery quite often, almost weekly in the months where it is warm where I live. Its amazing how the stillness of death helps to encourage letting go in the present moment.
With warmth,
Matt
Well then you should go when it's really COLD!!!
That's not necessarily a bad thing, but please, don't confuse the two.
One of the people in the group that I sit with is in the process of signing up as a volunteer at a hospice. Of course, the people are not dead yet but they are very close to dying.
Yes, this is a very good idea, and practice. It certainly puts our own "self-importance" in perspective. How life is really temporary, and that illness, old age, and death are not just ideas, but facts of life for everyone.
I'm not sure it can be compared to working around the dead or dieing... I saw more life in those athlete's than I see in most "normal" people...
I do work in a developmental group home and have residents breaching 60 so in that aspect I can relate to, as the growing number of intellectually challenged individuals is certainly growing due in part to the level of care they have received over the past half a century...
I think working with them teaches more about the impermanence of our minds and body and our control of it (as it were) Anyone of us at any moment could, either through accident or some unforeseen event find ourselves in there shoes...
It is another path to opening to compassion for all beings...