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Lust
Hey everybody,
I started practicing Buddhism this January... Can anyone tell me how to conquer sensual lust? I don't say I am completely without any sensual lust... So unless I get a strong thing to hold on to, I don't think think I am going to leave this lust... And as the Buddha says, lust is one of the five hindrances... So please tell me how I can conquer it.... Is it through meditation? If yes, then do I have to do any "special" kind of meditation, or just mindful breathing?
:om:
I started practicing Buddhism this January... Can anyone tell me how to conquer sensual lust? I don't say I am completely without any sensual lust... So unless I get a strong thing to hold on to, I don't think think I am going to leave this lust... And as the Buddha says, lust is one of the five hindrances... So please tell me how I can conquer it.... Is it through meditation? If yes, then do I have to do any "special" kind of meditation, or just mindful breathing?
:om:
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Comments
Maybe grab it by the horns?;)
You don't "conquer" sensual lust. Like any other desire, it has US conquered. Instead of conquering, we recognize it and refuse to "engage in combat". Too often, when we want something we think we have to act on this desire. But over time we learn to see desire, recognize it, and then let it go. This comes from meditation, mindfulness, and understanding what the Buddha taught. It is not unusual for this to take much much more than 5 months.
The moment you decide you are going to go on a diet (which essentially is a form of deprivation, or change of habits of a kind) you focus, and become obsessed by food. All you can think about is your next meal. What you're going to eat. What you can't eat. What you should eat.
And how much.
It's the same with Lust, you see......
Know how I handle diets?
I ignore them.
never touch 'em.
If I overdo it with the chocolate gateau, I just cut down for a day or two, or go for a good brisk walk instead of taking the bus to work.
But I never go on a diet.
it's a sure-fire way of making you want more, not less.....
BRILLIANT! I'm no longer on a diet! here's hoping that your logic works for me!
just like the feeling of hunger, or the feeling of pain if you pinch yourself.
it help if you can objectify the sensation (feeling), like instead of calling it a feeling or lust, just call it a table or a couch (words doesn't matter, but some label are fuzzy concepts in our mind, like the word feeling...).
just in order to be able to observe the thing with equanimity.
this way it is much easier not to take it seriously and get carried away by it.
So you end up having to deal with the actual physical feeling, and not a very exaggerated, nurtured, much more intense version if you'd get carried away by it.
In my experience Metta is probably the least useful tool for dealing with lust. Metta is a great way for dealing with anger, ill-will and irritation though. Body contemplation (doing a kind of imaginary autopsy) has been, for many people, a very useful tool for dealing with lust. Using both of these different techniques (body contemplation and Metta), like a sick person would use different medicines depending on their ailments, is a good way to make sure the mind stays healthy and balanced, in my opinion. If the mind starts to get negative about the body then you've probably gone too far with the body contemplation, ease off a bit and do some Metta.
But, well it's really all about how you look at things. Lust isn't bad in and of itself, like many others have been saying. It's a very natural part of being human. As Pemo Chodron suggests, try just feeling the feeling and dropping the story. You don't have to feed the lust with more lusty thoughts. And I don't even know if there's really a problem with acting on the lust, as long as it's not inappropriate. Just stay with the feeling as it is and don't try to change it. Because you will lose that battle.
One of the things that repelled me from Buddhism for a while was thinking that it would change me, that I couldn't be myself or enjoy life or feel my feelings or think my thoughts. But that's not it at all. What I came to understand is that Buddhism is about looking and listening, not doing. Don't worry so much about changing your actions--just observe them as honestly as you can. The idea is that, over time, you will be imbued with more and more wisdom and come to recognize on a deep level what brings happiness and what doesn't, and naturally make the choices you're trying to force now.
All the best.
Now it appears that masturbation is not only normal, it may be healthy and protective, especially for young men. A team of scientists in Australia found that men who ejaculate more frequently between the ages of 20 and 50 are less likely to develop prostate cancer. The protective effect seems greatest for those in their 20s. Results from the study, published in the August 2003 issue of BJU International showed that men who ejaculated more than five times per week were one-third less likely to develop aggressive prostate cancer in their later years. The result contradicts an older belief that high frequency of sexual activity increases the incidence of prostate cancer. The key difference is that earlier research defined sexual activity as sexual intercourse alone rather than focusing on the number of ejaculations.
The Australian team speculated that potential infections associated with intercourse might raise the risk of prostate cancer, whereas masturbation allows the prostate, together with the seminal vesicles, to discharge secretions and prevent the buildup of any carcinogens that may be concentrated in them. (Canine studies have demonstrated that certain cancer-causing compounds found in cigarette smoke do concentrate in prostatic fluid.)
In my view, masturbation can be a normal expression of sexuality in both men and women. When done compulsively or addictively it can be irritating or exhausting, but in moderation it is medically harmless and may even be healthy. If the Australian findings are confirmed, they should become part of the advice doctors give men for protecting their reproductive systems.
Andrew Weil, M.D.
found at.....http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/id/QAA297851
Yes
No
You don't have to leave it, it will leave you, all by itself. The reason why is because lust comes from thoughts. Breath meditation is the practice of letting go of thoughts and when the thoughts leave, the things that come from the thoughts also leave.
Metta is a great way to subdude unwholesome/unwanted lustful feelings. By unwholesome I mean the kind that leads to sexual misconducts of various sorts. Sexual misconducts, even though not put into action, can be things like, having lustful feelings for an under-aged, someone else's partner, things that would harm anyone physically or mentally. When you direct your mind to the well-being and happiness of others these feelings get subdued.
I see, good point.