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Bugs, maybe a stupid question

lotusinitiatelotusinitiate
edited June 2010 in Buddhism Basics
As the title says, this may be a stupid question but I was thinking about it none the less and wanted to ask.

I'm trying to follow the Path and be a "good" Buddhist but I still have a lot to learn.

Right to the point... I'm diagnosed with Arachnophobia. I can't stand spiders, they terrify me, and I want them dead, flushed, and gone. I have to get someone else to kill them for me because I can't even touch them. I know ordering someone else to kill is just as bad. So I've thought, get someone else to put them in a little cup and take it outside. But I get so irrational with fear (and yes, I know it's irrational) I want it dead and not anywhere near my home still alive.

So, this may be stupid, but it is something I was wondering if anyone could give me advice on how to tackle.

Comments

  • Micsunderland3Micsunderland3
    edited June 2010
    You mentioned that you were diagnosed, so i am going to assume that a professional did so. I would consult that same person who diagnosed you to help find a solution to your phobia.

    I know that there are many treatments for phobias ranging from hypnotherapy to direct interaction.

    One method that i am familiar with is exposure. if you hang around spider long enough, then you might start to not hate them as bad.

    Most of them really wont bite you, and are pretty calm.

    Bees on the other hand. :nonono:
  • bellabella
    edited June 2010
    make friends with them...find a daddy long legs in the corner some wear and force yourself to stay in the room, just say hi and stuff. this is what i did and i used to be the worst arachniphobe there was. im still very scared of them, but i can tolerate them being alive and in proximity to me, even in the shower where they used to terrify me most.

    hope this helps
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  • Ficus_religiosaFicus_religiosa Veteran
    edited June 2010
    Maybe next time you see a spider on the wall or something, imagine what would have happened if you didn't look at that exact moment. The spider would have been there anyway - and you'd never know it was there! It didn't do anything you not sensing it, and it will not do anything you sensing it. It's just there, minding it's own business.
    I feel a little sorry for the spiders, oblivious to human existence, who has to die because we see them and think they are gross.

    Behavioral therapy (like exposing) is a very fine, and effective way of curing phobias - it's also expensive, as you'd have to hire a professional therapist for at least a couple of hours.
    You can try metta meditation, contemplating the nature of the spider first, then wishing all spiders a happy life or something like that. Meet them in your mind as they are - harmless, little beings.
    Maybe it we will help - or else you have two options 1) therapy 2) continue as you do

    Also realize it's ok to be human and have flaws :)
  • uzebuzeb
    edited June 2010
    I saw this TV show a while back where a guy terrified of spiders underwent hypnotherapy. He had the guy visualizing spiders dancing around in top hats and canes, and all kinds of other crazy stuff. At the end of the show, the guy had this huge tarantula put on his bare arm and he was fine with it. Blew my mind.
  • patbbpatbb Veteran
    edited June 2010
    just meditate, with experience, you will get to a point where you will want to face your fear.

    Fear is just like any other feelings, like sadness, like anxiety, like excitement, like anger... If it's a phobia, it mean that you nurtured the fear so much that now the reaction from your body is overwhelming.
    it can be too overwhelming for you to try to face it directly if you are inexperienced with meditation, but the day will come where you will be ready.

    Just like one day you will be ready to face your fear of your own death, and be at peace with the idea of your own impermanence.
  • robbrobb
    edited June 2010
    bella wrote: »
    make friends with them...find a daddy long legs in the corner some wear and force yourself to stay in the room, just say hi and stuff. this is what i did and i used to be the worst arachniphobe there was. im still very scared of them, but i can tolerate them being alive and in proximity to me, even in the shower where they used to terrify me most.

    hope this helps
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    This worked for me. :) I was scared of spiders for years I still am to some extent. I gradually introduced myself and talked to them like they were another person in the room. I also realized their beneficial nature in the garden so now when I find one inside I carefully scoop it up with a piece of paper and one of those Ziploc food containers and put them outside where they can do their job.
  • johnathanjohnathan Canada Veteran
    edited June 2010
    I don't have any experience with phobias but I was thinking a trip to a local pet store that carries spiders might be helpful... Yes, I know, they are much bigger and "scarier" but you also know that they are contained and it is impossible for one to move through the glass and be any danger to you (albeit most likely only a perceived danger)... If you can just look at it... there safe behind the glass... watch it for a few seconds at first... each time try to watch it longer... look at its surroundings, where it lives... imagine yourself trapped inside the glass, taken from your natural habitat... your family... your friends... try to empathize with this poor helplessly trapped creature...

    As you increase your compassion for these larger, "scarier" creatures take your experience home with you... when you see a spider extend the compassion you have learned for his larger kin and realize it does not care that you are there (except possibly it fears you will squash it... thats why they try to scurry away) All it wants to do is spin a pretty web and catch flies... It is serving you in its own way without knowing it and without expectation of receiving anything in return... It has done nothing to you but existed... found a warm dry place and seeks food (they don't eat people)...

    Look how small it is... smaller than a human baby by far and just as helpless (and might I add a lot quieter too)... You wouldn't squash a helpless infant... or even a freshly hatched chick...

    Anywho... You get the picture... start gearing your mind through contemplation and meditation to view spiders as helpless creatures who only wish to live, like we humans wish to live, as all living beings wish to live... It has no agenda to seek out and harm us... Extend compassion to it (Metta meditation may be helpful too http://info.med.yale.edu/psych/3s/metta.html )

    Moving it outdoor, or allowing another to do so is compassionate... killing it is not...

    with much Metta,

    Johnathan
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