Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
Question about Malas?
zpweston
Explorer
What is the best way to explain to my girlfriend why she can't touch my mala, without offending her?
0
Comments
Get her one of her own or give yours to her since it already has been used and has some heat to it.
I am not too rigid about this personally. If I have practiced with a mala and someone else touches it I usually just hope that some of the heat of practice rubs off on them.
Just explain gently that the mala is a tool for you, and one that you don't want anyone else to touch for your own spiritual reasons. That shouldn't offend her. Make sure to emphasize that you wouldn't want ANYONE to touch it, so she doesn't think it's just her. That's the only way I could see her being offended.
Karma Cooties!
There is a lot of personal intimate connection with the implements that make it a bit taboo to share them with others.
Could you elaborate further? Are you referring to a "clinging" sort of connection, or something more metaphysical?
Just tell her that the attachment you have for your mala, exceeds your attachment for her - that should do the trick
Get her one of here own.
Also tell her that the Mala is a personal tool used to channel enlightened Energy Into Increasing the efficency of your practise and that If used by others without the proper know how and Intentions that the Energy will dissapear.
Of course me having said this is rather bogus as the actual energy it accumulates is upon your mental continuum.
I second that about the OP.
Superstition ?
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHdbLJo2kPs
I hope it is ok to post a link to it?
The reason I post it here is because I have been looking for information about malas & I saw this thread & was concerned about the "sacredness" (probably not quite the right word but I hope it conveys the right meaning) which seems to attached to malas in general. There seem to be quite a few "rules" to using them, wearing them, handling them, who can touch them etc & I was beginning to think I should not have one at all. Then I saw this thread & thought the video might be helpful/interesting.
It depends very heavily on the tradition. Tibetan tradition seems to have most of the "rules" so to speak. Other traditions don't have any rules on them. I think my wrist mala is under the couch right now since my cats seem to enjoy playing with them. That would probably be a big no no in Tibetan practice.
Certain practices develop a connection and power through implements that are used over time. The implements are usually only used by the person they are intended for. I think there is a metaphysical level because we are using a lot of different methods that are associated with the implements and that is something very personal and profound.
It shouldnt be a clinging thing although I am sure it is in many cases.
If you ask me there is a bit of a taboo thing going on but I also think the idea of intimacy of practice can be useful.
Why even post in this thread?
Your post is ignorant.
More attacks on me coming from you again shenpen nangwa?
What's wrong with saying 'superstition' ? I was an offline Tibetan Buddhist practitioner for a long time, and its a valid point as far as I'm concerned.
.
You are good at attempting to play the victim though.
If you had actually added an explanation that might have been relevant to the thread rather than smilies etc. you post might have come across as less ignorant.
But, the way it was posted was simply rude, ignorant, and in no way contributed to the thread.
//edit: Ah, shenpen largely made my point for me while I was typing.
Jeez - if my smilie was patronising then so is yours, Lincoln!
.
Your post was clearly patronizing and then you did accuse me of "attacking" you, which was just plain weird by the way.
Don't call me 'Dude' please. I'm a woman, and I'm not American....and you're starting the ad homs again. Back off bully boy.
.
Whatever you say Dazzle.
Maybe if you keep your posts relevant and leave out the clear bias behind them you wouldnt feel like you are being "attacked" when I respond to them indicating problems that they contain. Just a thought.
Returning to the subject of malas, a Tibetan teacher once gave me his own mala which I used afterwards for several years myself.
Another mala that I used for a long time I lent to a novice monk for a day when he was involved in chanting and ceremonies.
No draining of energy took place. Everybody was happy.
I maintain that in my opinion it's just superstition to think otherwise.
Kind wishes to all and goodnight. :buck:
.
The reason not to have others touching your mala in the Tibetan tradition is mostly to do with the concept of "drip", which could be translated as obscuration or in a more vernacular sense as "bad vibes". Mipham Rinpoche describes this very well in the excerpt here:
http://www.wisdom-books.com/ProductExtract.asp?PID=15835
As with most seemingly obscure things in Tibetan buddhism, there are precise reasons behind them that are shared as oral instructions in the course of one's deepening relationship with a lineage master. These teachings are never suspected to exist by the spiritual tourists that flit from master to master and tradition to tradition like starving bees.
Drip is pretty interesting and also plays into Tibetan/Ayurvedic medicine as well.
Let's move on.
If she offends herself, then I think she is being childish. Simple as that; I don't want you to touch this which is from my property, and you are not going to do it because you should respect my space. And, if she asks why, then you explain. No need to reformulate some arguments from information here imho, you already have a reason why she shouldn't do it.
If you have some kind of empowerments, lots of practice, etc. it is not a good idea for them to touch your mala, it has a heavy karmic connection. But that doesn't mean that in the moment he/she touches it is going to start having weird dreams, etc.
I am sure of what i said, but of course anyone here can choose what they want to believe...
They are just objects, no?
I mean, I understand not wanting someone to pick them up and play around, but surely holding would be okay?
Don't mind me, I'm new to all this stuff anyway.
They are objects... yes. But not just any object... they represent the Buddha and His teaching. It should not be looked as just a shelf with some ornaments.
I'd say it would be ok if someone were to hold an object for closer examination, but not ok if all they want to do is just toy around with the objects. This is just my POV... you may view it differently, as would others.
Not a problem... ask away....
Also the Buddha said, before dying that in the future he was going to manifest in the form of scriptures, images, etc. That means, at least from my point of view, that the Buddha finally is not different from the teachings, and the teachings are not different from the internal transformation of the mind, so, if one is going to use an altar, then it is supposed that one bears in mind the significance of using a support and not as a veneration object.
At least from the Tantric point of view, when one has tantric empowerments, and one's own instruments are "blessed" by a Lama (or your root Guru) they become "charged", also when doing the practice.
If you don't agree with tantric tradition that's another topic of discussion.
Now, regardless if it is tantra or not tantra, as I said before: In the first place why do you have an altar? If you have one, then you must be conscious about the points I exposed before. If not, then it is because of faith. If it is by faith, then it is not a good idea to destroy the faith of others, even if it goes against Buddhadharma's point of view... you can't just disregards others' Dharma.
Then again, you are not understanding all the points that I put on my post; I don't want to re-write them again, but check again there the issues about interdependence and about mind attitude.
If you continue to have doubts, then I'm sorry for not being more pedagogical (maybe it is because there is much still for me to master in English language) and please go to your teacher and ask him this same question... you could even comment him the answers you have received here.
I think I don't have anything new to say more than what has been said in my previous posts.
Try not to jump off the raft before arriving to the other side.
I do not view my altar as a symbol but rather as the living presence of the body, speech and mind of the Buddhas. It doesn't merely represent something, it is that which is represented. In my house, the shrine room is off-limits for people that are not either practitioners or interested in becoming one so there really is no problem.
I am not saying that other people should not touch other malas. They can do as they please. I am saying that the mala that I use for sadhana I keep free of any outside influence as much as possible, though sometimes I will wear it so that those who see me with it might make a connection with the Dharma however slight. If people see the mala around my neck and touch it without asking me, I don't freak out about it. I explain to them that it is a personal spiritual item that only I should touch and I have yet to have a single person tell me I am being elitist or condescending. To a person, they have been respectful and understanding.