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Lately I've become worried that Buddhism will change me too much...
I have been practicing Buddhism for a little while now, and it has improved many aspects of my life. For example, I now handle disagreements with others much better, I find myself less angry, and more importantly, things that used to make me stressed out no longer have that effect.
But I'm worried...because doesn't Buddhism ask that I detach from things that I enjoy, like video games? And my hobbies, like crocheting or herpetoculture? While I am not dependent on video games for my happiness, I do enjoy playing once in awhile. And while I do not depend on crocheting, I feel so happy after I complete a project. Likewise, when looking after my reptiles, I don't necessarily "need" them, but when I create a comfortable environment for another living creature, it brings me a lot of satisfaction, especially if that creature was formerly living in sub-standard conditions at the hands of another person. What does Buddhism say about this?
And what about my family? I love my mother more than the world. I would not necessarily be compelled to commit suicide if she died, but I would still be very upset. What does Buddhism say about this?
Please advise. I am enjoying the dhamma, but I do not wish it to have a negative effect on the level of enjoyment my hobbies and relationships bring me.
But I'm worried...because doesn't Buddhism ask that I detach from things that I enjoy, like video games? And my hobbies, like crocheting or herpetoculture? While I am not dependent on video games for my happiness, I do enjoy playing once in awhile. And while I do not depend on crocheting, I feel so happy after I complete a project. Likewise, when looking after my reptiles, I don't necessarily "need" them, but when I create a comfortable environment for another living creature, it brings me a lot of satisfaction, especially if that creature was formerly living in sub-standard conditions at the hands of another person. What does Buddhism say about this?
And what about my family? I love my mother more than the world. I would not necessarily be compelled to commit suicide if she died, but I would still be very upset. What does Buddhism say about this?
Please advise. I am enjoying the dhamma, but I do not wish it to have a negative effect on the level of enjoyment my hobbies and relationships bring me.
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About animals...well...I dont know...it's a good thing and a bad thing ( the golden cage thing, just saying...).
If one of your close relatives dies, just cry for the moment,be upset, remember how the person was and so on, then forget the dead one after a time.
You'll be fine, Ermine, Buddhism if practiced correctly will just help you clarify things, you can still be whom you are if you know who you really are.
The things you mention, love for your mother, care for creatures, satisfaction at a job well done, these are all not incompatible.
Be at peace and thankyou
Abu
Enjoy the games, enjoy the crochet, enjoy the smiley faces of your reptiles. You'll know when you're attached if you start to crave, if you want to partake in the activity but are unable and feel annoyed, if when you're doing something else you're wishing to be at home enjoying your hobbies, that's when suffering arises.
Suffering does not come about from partaking in activites, wholesome or unwholesome, but from our own attitudes regarding those activities.
Lisa love being in her room. She feel safe.
If Lisa ever lose her fear of the dark, do you think she will be a different person?
Personally I believe Lisa would be the same person. The only difference is that she would be more free.
Buddhism - has not done this.
YOU have done this, by Mindful application of Buddhist principles.
So you have changed, for the better, it would seem.....
No, it doesn't.
What it seeks to teach you is that you can find as much pleasure in such pastimes as you wish.
But simply understand that one day, you will play your last video game, and you will crochet your last piece of work, and one day, you will be rid of your final reptile. Incidentally, I used to keep snakes. In fact, I became a close aide to my local vet as a sounding board, when he had reptiles brought in by pet-owners, which gave him difficulty in diagnosis.
I now refuse, personally, to keep snakes, for many reasons.
Buddhism says to practise whatever you do, Mindfully, and establish Right View and Right Intention.....
I can equate.
My father died three weeks ago, leaving my mother - his wife - in mourning for 57 years well spent together.
As sad and melancholy as she feels, she has never contemplated suicide, because she loves life - and her children - far too much.
Imagine her 'upset'. Trust me, if she can go on, meeting life head-on - you can too.
Please explain how on earth living the Dhamma joyfully and Mindfully, could possibly bring you anything but positivity.
The Dhamma is not about depriving yourself of anything.
The Dhamma is about living Life to the full, enjoying all it brings, yet seeing All Things As They Really Are.
Thank you all so much for your advice. I do not have a Teacher, and this forum has been wonderful as far as answering my questions.
I know that my questions may seem silly, and I appreciate you all for not being condescending...it helps me feel more at ease when I post my questions
Well, not so quick
There are no rules or commandments that say in order to be a good Buddhist you must this or that. At the same time Buddhist practice, if it is to have any value at all, must be life changing. Many practitioners can tell you that some time after taking up sincere practice they found they lost their appetite for something they were once passionate about. It wasn't the object of their passion that was the problem, it was the reason, the motivation for the passion that was the problem and this is what ended up dying as a side effect of their practice. I think of the talented musician who played an instrument for reasons that were ego driven and then lost his taste because his motivation (ego) disappeared. Years later he emerged more mature and went back to his instrument. He played it with a different purpose, a different motivation. The outward act wasn't important, the motivation for it was. Do not think that Buddhist practice is something you can take up and remain unchanged, unchallenged. It will kill who you are and after death you will emerge more mature. You may have to experience this death many times. Sometimes death is a comfort, sometimes it is a terror.
But I really don't see crochet as being terribly threatening....
Good. Buddhism and its associated teachings should be a comfort to you, and build your confidence, not undermine it and make you nervous or hesitant....
I know.... we really are a pretty amazing bunch......:D
You think none of us ever had questions like that? You should have seen some of the blinders I had......