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Angulimala and forgiving: how can one attain the power of forgiveness?
Angulimala, was a robber and serial killer and he converted to monkhood and became an Arahant. He was accepted into the Buddhist monastic order and the Buddha saved him from rebirth in the lowest worlds of painful existence, and was able to use the transformational power of the Dharma to make a killer become an Arahant.
That kind of depth of forgiveness and redeeming power is very difficult to imagine and comprehend. How can I extend my ability to forgive?
I personally thought of a practice similar to the Metta Bhvana where I would begin with forgiving myself for all misdeeds and actions I have committed, then forgive someone close to me that I want to forgive for committing hurtful deeds, and then a neutral person, and then a person that is harder to forgive with whom I do not get along with. Then I extend forgiveness to all sentient beings in the past, present, and future.
One stumbling block with this idea is that I began to notice that I was consistently holding grudges, and while with this practice I was letting go of most of them, I started noticing that there were a lot of similar types of grudges coming up, and I am worried that perhaps my ability to forgive is hindered. Is it a problem with a practice or a problem with myself?
What is another way I can attain that power that allowed a serial killer to rise up and become an Arahant ?