letting go

ThailandTom

I have been practicing buddhism for nearly 2 years and recently I have been looking at where it has taken me. The first most noticeable change which is evident to me and my closest friend is the fact that I am o longer selfish. I use to be selfish with certain things and really did not know how selfish i was until people pointed it out and I started down the dharma path.

Secondly it has helped with my anxiety to a certain degree, my hypochondria has disappeared but I still have a slight form of it socially.

I can let certain things go quite easily, others I cannot let go as easily. I was trying to think why this was and came to a conclusion that maybe I don't want to let go... Maybe I do not wish to commit as much as I think I do.
I have started to look at how far I have come and things of this nature because I seem to have come to a kind of halt and maybe I do not wish to go much further subconsciously, I don't know.

Any tips on letting go? In meditation I often find that focusing the breath is obviously a great technique, but sometimes I imagine my brain and a hand clasped around it, I visually let go of it and this really does bring a sense of tranquility and peace, but is this not meditating and merely being lazy or something lol? I cannot let go of some things in life and the tranquility I have experienced in meditation is always short lived, maybe brief taste of nirvana..

footiam

You don't have to let go. Just live.

Lostie

Thanks for sharing.

You'll let go when you are ready.

Cinorjer

You say there are things you can let go quite easy, and other things not so easy. This is an astute observaton of how anyone's practice goes. You focus on what is causing you the most unhappiness, but then start noticing clinging itself as something to work on.

After only two years, if you thought your practice was easy and you had no trouble letting go of everything, then you'd be in trouble. After twenty years, if you thought your practice was easy, you'd be in trouble. So you are on the right track.

May I suggest it's time to shift the focus of your practice from what you are doing to what you are? Clinging to the notion of yourself and the mental grip on what you have makes you the center of your attention and your happiness becomes the motivation of letting go. But it's what we cling to that makes us happy, for a short time. Perhaps it's time to focus your practice on others. Look around you. Look with the eyes of compassion. What can you do to help others? What can you give?

Then give, to help others. And you have to let go, in order to give, but it's not for you, now. It's not about you. It's about other people. You don't even notice the letting go, and what was hard becomes easy. Just give, give, give. If someone needs company, give your time. If the person at the checkout counter needs a bit of human contact, give them your smile. If your wife needs to know you care, give her your attention and kisses.

Just give. Then letting go is easy, because it's not about taking something away. It's about giving to someone.

Hope this helps.

patbb

ThailandTom wrote: »

I can let certain things go quite easily, others I cannot let go as easily. I was trying to think why this was and came to a conclusion that maybe I don't want to let go...

If you would have wanted to let it go, you would have not hold on to it in the first place.

We find comfort in fear, anger, sadness etc... We don't want to let go of them.
When we truly do, it goes.

ThailandTom wrote: »

Any tips on letting go?

Investigate.
Let say what you cannot let go of is a fear of dogs.
You can look at the sensation of fear itself in your belly, investigate it, see what it does for you etc...
Maybe you can ask things like "Do I really want to feel this way when I see/think about a dog?" "Does it help the situation in anyway to feel bad about it?"...