Jealousy and Trust

amylynn518

I have been studying buddhism for about six or seven months and find it to be something very interesting and a great way of life. I am still new to things and have been trying to apply it to my everyday life.
I am currently in a relationship and have been very hurt in past relationships. I have some serious trust and jealousy issues. In my head, I realize this is me staying attached and trying to take control of my boyfriend and the situation. I was hurt in the past and this has caused me to have a lot of worry and distrust in my current relationship.
So my question is, how do I let go without not caring? Or... I'm not sure how to put this. I don't want to be so attached to him that I am going crazy worrying all the time, yet I dont want to be completely apathetic. Where do I find this balance and how should I approach it?? I don't want to be so dependant on him and have my worries have such control over me. It's really ruinning my relationship and it's causing me sufferring because I can't seem to just let it be. :crazy::crazy:

genkaku

Hi amylynn -- If you have an interest in Buddhism, you may have come across the encouragement to meditate -- i.e. literally take some time each day to sit down, erect your spine, shut up, and focus the mind. Such a daily activity may not sound like much, given the worries you describe, but what happens may surprise you.

No, you don't become an apathetic zombie. No, your worries do not dissolve over night. No, you do not receive a shiny new halo in the mail. But a little at a time, the ground from which your worries spring becomes clearer and you yourself become less needy.

Meditation practice requires determination and constancy. It also requires patience and courage and doubt. But since all of these abilities are already within you, there is no need to search elsewhere. The only question is whether you want to experiment ... put them to use and then see what actually happens.

Best wishes.