sentient beings: our mothers? really?

namahbuddha

In Tibetan Buddhism there is the idea that all sentient beings have been in a previous life related to us at some level and it is even said that all sentient beings are our kind mothers. If that is the case why many lamas and rinpoches, when one sends a message they just ignore your question, or they are always to busy to answer and seam not bordered at all. But with some old students of them and their own families they always have time of course. So at specific and very convenient times do they forget we have been related in a previous life and one could have been a close student or maybe even their mother? Sometimes after a teaching when you go smiling to thank for the teaching at the end of a talk they reach to your envelop and look right across you as if you are not there smiling to them...or you find a website of a group you really feel a connexion with their lineage and send an email really from the bottom of your heart and never hear back from them or receive a message cold as the Himalayas' wind on the winter. Is that experience unique to me or anyone here has a similar experience or have some opinion on the why it happens.

I just want to let stated that I am not here saying names it is a genuine doubt and from my circle of friends I am not the only one who had experienced that.

thank you for the space and opportunity.

Dakini

I think they're busy, and choose to spend the time they have with their sangha/students, as a first priority. What kind of websites are you emailing?

federica

Many times letters and emails are intercepted by secretaries and assistants, and they must receive thousands and thousands of communications that they cannot always answer.
Lamas do not just sit around all day waiting for people to ask them questions. They have many responsibilities and there are times when such matters are left to their assistants or secretaries.


And don't forget - not all mothers like their children.

The teaching that 'all beings could have been your mother' is a metaphor for enabling you to consider all other beings worthy of love, respect and compassion. Traditionally, the relationship between a mother and child is the closest bond there is.
so what this teaching is trying to impress upon you, is that all beings merit such consideration.

but it's only a 'might have been'.
it's not a 'definitely was'.

There is no proof these beings definitely were connected to you in a past life.
so that argument doesn't wash.

Sorry I couldn't be more helpful.
But I am a mother.
And I did answer.

SherabDorje

There are human faults wherever you go. These things happen. I know you're reluctant to "name names", and in a sense that's admirable, but if this is happening with one specific group more than others it might shed light on the problem. I don't think I really want to know which group it is, just for myself. I prefer to respect your desire not to name names.

But you can always go to a different group if you have had a negative experience.

Dazzle

namahbuddha wrote: »

In Tibetan Buddhism there is the idea that all sentient beings have been in a previous life related to us at some level and it is even said that all sentient beings are our kind mothers. If that is the case why many lamas and rinpoches, when one sends a message they just ignore your question, or they are always to busy to answer and seam not bordered at all. But with some old students of them and their own families they always have time of course. So at specific and very convenient times do they forget we have been related in a previous life and one could have been a close student or maybe even their mother? Sometimes after a teaching when you go smiling to thank for the teaching at the end of a talk they reach to your envelop and look right across you as if you are not there smiling to them...or you find a website of a group you really feel a connexion with their lineage and send an email really from the bottom of your heart and never hear back from them or receive a message cold as the Himalayas' wind on the winter. Is that experience unique to me or anyone here has a similar experience or have some opinion on the why it happens.

I just want to let stated that I am not here saying names it is a genuine doubt and from my circle of friends I am not the only one who had experienced that.

thank you for the space and opportunity.

Imagining that all beings have been our mothers at some time (including insects, slugs etc) helps us to be kinder and more compassionate towards them.

If you (and your friends) are not happy with your dharma centre, teacher or tradition, then find another! There are plenty of different teachers and traditions to choose from these days. However its always best to take some time to investigate first and then choose carefully.

Lots of good wishes to you.

_/\_

namahbuddha

Hi, Thank you so much for your quick replies. I can see you are not lamas, but as Federica said she is a mother and at some point she made the decision to let their children and answer my question. What I still can't understand is that sometimes the lamas can't let their students and families to answer a question to someone who is maybe in a difficult situation or lives in a place with no dharma centre and needs a internet connection with a qualified teacher. About the names, SherabDorje, is not that i deliberately choose not to mention but because this is a general question as I said I am not the only person who experienced this type of situation.
Thank you so so much for your answers.

federica

If you have a situation you might like some input on, feel free to ask anything you need help with, here.
I suggest you post it in the 'Members-only' forum, where the threads and posts there are not available to web searches or random viewing by lurkers and non-members.....

YesheDorje

I think that sometimes Lamas and other Dharma centers come off distant to new comers may be because they find that many new people come to a session or two and are very engaged at first and want answers to questions, and maybe want to talk about their problems, but do not keep coming back. Maybe the new people conclude that the Lama does not have specific answers for their problems so they do not come back.
I think that the new students should be encouraged to keep coming but that it is up to them to do so until they can decide if they should be there. Only they can make that decision and they need to make it without too much encouragement. If the group is too inviting or rewarding to new people, it becomes something other than what it is meant to be.

After a lot of consideration on the topic, I have concluded that my opinion is that the teaching about every sentient being having been my mother in a past life is a matter of fact. It is a true statement and not intended as a metaphor or for consideration, it is a fact, really.

fabianfred

Buddhism teaches that the past and future are infinite....we have therefore always existed in Samsara.... so we have probably been related to all other beings at sometime.
This is also meant to remind us.....isn't it about time we got bored with all the suffering and looked for a way out.
Lamas looking for envelopes...??? do you have to pay for the teachings then..??
I thought the Dhamma was free....

federica

Yeshe Dorje wrote: »

After a lot of consideration on the topic, I have concluded that my opinion is that the teaching about every sentient being having been my mother in a past life is a matter of fact. It is a true statement and not intended as a metaphor or for consideration, it is a fact, really.

No, it isn't a fact.
It is disputable and unprovable. So it is a theory, and one you happen to believe.
but it is not a fact, other wise it would be transmitted, in Buddhism, as a fact.

As it isn't, anywhere, there is no basis to your assertion that this belief is factual.

Furthermore, let's not take the discussion off-topic.
If you want a debate about it - start a new thread.

andyrobyn

Does it matter if it is a truth or a true metaphor? isn't what it means and how it is enacted more important?

federica

I daresay you're right.
But as this is the beginner's forum, let's not give them the impression that simply because somebody concludes something is a fact, that it is so, and thus generally accepted as being so by everyone.
It isn't.

But your evaluation of the sentiment is as far as I am concerned, far more pertinent.

Joshua

I don't think the issue of everybody having been your mother in a past life is the core of your concern but at any rate I've read a bit of helpful advice. Berzin postulated that whether everybody was your mother before or not isn't what's important (let me add my own observation here, some mother's eat their offspring, like cats), the importance is that you view people's buddha nature as possessing that compassion such as a mother would have. Whether you view them as having been your mother, father, best friend or whatever isn't imporant. It's simply an exercise in developing bodhicitta.

“I acknowledge that rebirth is very, very important, very essential. I acknowledge that I really don’t understand the Buddha’s teachings on it, but I have a full intention to try to understand it. Now it’s not something that I can really deal with, so I’ll be kind to everybody, and not that everybody literally was my mother in a previous lifetime, but anybody could take me home and make a nice meal for me and give me a place to stay. And so everybody could be kind to me like a mother.”

A much more in depth analysis if you're prepared to read a bit can be found here.