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Am I making people more miserable
Fenix
Veteran
I have no friends per se. I used to, but I stopped drinking etc. and being "fun". Anyway I have cut people off and after awhile I contacted a couple of people, so I thought that if they suffer like everyone else, maybe I can be a nice person in there life.
What seems to be is I make people more miserable. Why?
What seems to be is I make people more miserable. Why?
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Thing is Fenix, these people from your old world maybe too lost in craving and unskillful behaviour, and might not really want to be reminded of such as it were. I'm finding a similar transition, even with relationships such as with my wonderful wife.
How have you found giving up the booze?
I think I make people more miserable well cause no one wants to talk to me
EDIT: I kind of thought that people would realize whats going on, but it dosent seem to work that way. The opposite, people think Im doing something crazy
With Metta
Have you considered entertaining thoughts of possible positive outcomes of this transitional period in your life? How hard will it be to find new friends that behave more positively? How hard would it be to question the underlying assumptions that underlie your present attitudes and feelings and actions? There are alternative scenarios that are not miserable at all.
The main theme in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is that feelings arise from things that we tell ourselves about situations. Can you use mindfulness to notice these feelings when they arise, notice the underlying incorrect assumptions, and call these underlying incorrect assumptions into question, and replace them with new, more positive ones?
I certainly am not the first to compare mindfulness practice with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, but I think it may be worth a try in your case. From where I sit, you are digging yourself into a hole of negativity with your thoughts, and you can dig yourself out of that hole in the same way.
Practice has nothing at all to do with changing other people. It has to do with changing yourself and the way you relate to reality. It's regrettable that your old friends act that way, but it's true that you cannot change them.
I wish you well.
Your practice should be for it's own sake I think...
I wish you peace brother
Measure for measure, I enjoy more: life without the booze, and though it gets a little bit tough now and then (sometimes really really tough, right?), it is soooo much better than all those lies and 'booze misery games' that *are part of the drinking scene*.
The whole depression thing is going to disappear for you Fenix... this is the promise of the Buddhas, and I also wholeheartedly believe this.
If a wayfarer fails to find
one better or equal,
steadfast he should fare alone
for a fools no fellowship.
But, isnt everyone ignorant until they attain enlightenment? Thanks for all the responces, I have found them really helpful
EDIT: I know these kinds of questions are pointless and have nothing to do with the goal.
Dosent matter. I told her already
If you've gone away from them, there is a reason.
If they contact you, be kind. Nothing says you don't have to, but then again, nothing says you have to.
I left all my old friends 4 month ago after starting my cultivation. I am feeling much better for it whenever I remember how negatively we were all influencing eachother.
This would give you a fresh start for you to meet better friends that takes your life in a positive direction.
OK. Half kidding.