Disconcerning yourself with other people's actions.

Bodhgaya

Namaste.
Now, whether it be your family, friends, people you know, or just some things that tend to happen, how do you disconcern yourself with these things?

What I mean is, say, someone keeps getting their belly button pierced, but everytime they do, their body rejects it and it gets infected and discolored. They take it out, but after it's healed, they still get it redone. And it's a friend of yours. How do you just let it go, without thinking how stupid that is or what not.
Or, people at a young age drinking, or getting pregnant, etc. Or someone who just harms themselves so needlessly.

I don't fret and brood over it, but I was wondering how to just .... not think about it at all, or something.
If you know what I'm trying to say, please try and clarify. If not, I'll try to explain better.

Metta

SherabDorje

As long as you don't fret and brood over it, what's the harm? Can't you just feel completely neutral toward it? I would suspect that if you spend enough time just feeling completely neutral toward it, the thoughts will go away by themselves.

Bodhgaya

I suppose that could work. Meditate on it? Prehaps.

SherabDorje

Not even. Just let it go away by itself. Meditating on it would only perpetuate what you say are very unimportant things.

Bodhgaya

I could say that is true. Could you still acknowledge, though, they what they do are unwholesome or foolish things, yet not condemn or condone?

Dazron

Don't try and do anything, except practice loving compassion on whomever you are concerning with. All you need to worry about is just that - compassion.

Bodhgaya

Simple advice.

Ficus_religiosa

Trying to impose our beliefs and standards on others will always lead to suffering - for them, ourselves or both.
When somebody get their belly pierced several times - how does that change anything in you life? And more importantly - what gives you the right to decide what is right and wrong in another person's life?
If it doesn't infringe on you, just let it be.

Deformed

I could say that is true. Could you still acknowledge, though, they what they do are unwholesome or foolish things, yet not condemn or condone?

You could acknowledge what things cause unnecessary suffering, and if they do, work diligently to support things in a person's life that brings them true happiness through understanding.

caz

Its hard to see other people suffer. But the worst thing is we are really no more able to free them from suffering without first freeing ourselves.

Bodhgaya

Trying to impose our beliefs and standards on others will always lead to suffering - for them, ourselves or both.
When somebody get their belly pierced several times - how does that change anything in you life? And more importantly - what gives you the right to decide what is right and wrong in another person's life?
If it doesn't infringe on you, just let it be.

I can understand that. But it needless harm to themselves, needless infection, needless pain of needle, etc. And a continual money waste. It's like someone smoking cigarettes. They know it hurts, but they pay no mind.

Bodhgaya

I could say that is true. Could you still acknowledge, though, they what they do are unwholesome or foolish things, yet not condemn or condone?

You could acknowledge what things cause unnecessary suffering, and if they do, work diligently to support things in a person's life that brings them true happiness through understanding.

Indeed! I have a stepsibling. She is what you'd consider an 'evil' friend. She does all what we'd say is unwholesome, besides the murder.
How do you help people like that? And if you must associate with them, I know handle them with the utmost kindness because they are far more damaged than I, what should you do, especially in a family situation?

Bodhgaya

Its hard to see other people suffer. But the worst thing is we are really no more able to free them from suffering without first freeing ourselves.

I do agree. Become a bodhisattava for yourself, and a buddha for everyone else. If i'm quoting that right.

SherabDorje

"I can understand that. But it needless harm to themselves, needless infection, needless pain of needle, etc. And a continual money waste. It's like someone smoking cigarettes. They know it hurts, but they pay no mind."

And here we are going on and on about it when the original intent was just to disconcern yourself about it. Isn't that odd? Can you do anything to change it? Then stop thinking about it already.

Bodhgaya

You are right.
I was merely explaining, though.