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the ego
ThailandTom
Veteran
I am not the best of buddhists lets say, but as you may know I have been following some type of dharma path for nearly 2 years.
After what has been happening in the past 2 weeks has changed me DRAMATICALLY. Some are positive outcomes and some are negative, inevitably. If you are not familiar with what I have been doing for the past 2 weeks or even 6 motnhs then I am sure there are posts on other discussions you will see, if you are curious that is.
Anyway, I feel that my ego is growing and that I am loosing my way on the path some what. Meditation is okay actually, but the ego, something which is the cause of all suffering; be it a war, crime, jealousy, suicide and so forth.
How would one come back to dropping Mr ego ... I am not referring to a context where I think i am superior or amazing, it is literally just the whole ego thing.
After what has been happening in the past 2 weeks has changed me DRAMATICALLY. Some are positive outcomes and some are negative, inevitably. If you are not familiar with what I have been doing for the past 2 weeks or even 6 motnhs then I am sure there are posts on other discussions you will see, if you are curious that is.
Anyway, I feel that my ego is growing and that I am loosing my way on the path some what. Meditation is okay actually, but the ego, something which is the cause of all suffering; be it a war, crime, jealousy, suicide and so forth.
How would one come back to dropping Mr ego ... I am not referring to a context where I think i am superior or amazing, it is literally just the whole ego thing.
0
Comments
Q. ''How are things different now than 6 months ago, ego-wise? ''
A. the last 6 months were hell for me as I had a relationship break up and I could not let go off such an attachment. We broke up due to unfortunate circumstances.
The past 2 weeks I have been taking a lot of diazipam (valium) and drinking alcohol every day. However, I still continue to be compassionate, mindful and meditate, just my ego seems to be increasing. I will get snappy at somebody or be so attached to the self
Sorry to hear circumstances came up to cause a break-up. Life will go on. You can get through this; everyone does. See if you can wean yourself off the drugs.
Your ego is feeling rejected, that's why it feels like it's "growing". Stay with your feelings, instead of trying to deaden them with drugs. The problem will blow over faster, if you allow your feelings to flow through and out. (Easier said than done, I know.) They say pounding out your feelings on pillows and writing them onto paper, then burning the paper, is helpful, cleansing. "sucking up" your feelings only causes more suffering. Good luck.
I dont love thai massage, its ok, but an actually massage is different, well the style of massage I have had was different, less rough. I have a few good thai friends where I stay and they massaged my foot when I twisted it, they re too kind these people trust me
This is not just some snappy Buddhist fortune cookie. When we speak of the ego, we seldom stop to really consider what we are talking about. If we call it real, we run into trouble. If we call it false or deluded, we run into the same kind of trouble.
Buddhism is not about increasing troubles. It is about recognizing them for what they are -- something we can neither put down nor pick up.
So what then? The best approach is simply to pay attention and see what actually happens. Pay attention, take responsibility ... and allow what can neither be put down nor picked up to come and go, come and go.
Who knew?
Don't become upset or frustrated, Just gentlely bring your mind and practice back and use the events that you have faced as a learning curve.
In the long term, what you are having difficulty with now is no different than lossing count of your breath during meditation. And how to get back is also the same, realize what has happened and bring youself back in a compassionate way.
1) You say you are meditating, I assume you mean in the yogic/insight sense. You might also like to try a more contemplative meditation focussing on right view, especially the three marks and especially emptiness/interconnectedness. In my prac tice it is this that shows ego's illusion and the path to egolessness, that approach may help you.
2) Service to others. Metta is wonderful as a meditative/emotive practice, but I don't think it beats actually going out into the world of illusionary egos and serving that world. I have no idea what this means in your Thailand context but it certainly doesn't mean me-me-me stuff like massages and palm-based relief from ladyboys;) Others before self will show your ego for what it is.
3) You aint important. Here you are with your problems, and the solutions offered by us all, but do you see that the very act of interacting about these issues is itself ego-fodder? These kinds of situations create the barriers [me and my issues][the world and its problems/solutions] that the fraudulent ego can hide behind.
I think these two images capture insignificance, interconnectedness and egolessness pretty well: http://mindblog.dericbownds.net/2006/08/universe-in-neuron-and-vice-versa.html
namaste, from me and my ego;)
Lets see what happens
However, I have been a bad man, I have generated much negatu=ive kamma
{ i } = ai