Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
My life sux
I know that anyone who reads this might think its just the cliche ramblings of a teenager, but I felt that I needed to post this. Basically my life sux. Ive been depressed for a long, long, time. Then I started to cut about a year ago. Then my parents found out They made me see a couslelor/therapist person that i still see every 2 weeks. Then I stopped for about a month and started again. Then I tried to take my life and ended up in a mental hospital. Im fine now but I have to take zoloft for a while. Also, Ive been a loner for a good portion of my life so I dont really have any friends and I have never had a girlfriend. (although girls have made advances towards me but when that happened I was too depressed to care) On top of that my parents are seperated and my mom is dating a stalker, and I am struggling with my relgion. Does anyone have any advice for how I can make things easier for me?
0
Comments
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1572307064/102-7905838-0611335?v=glance&n=283155&n=507846&s=books&v=glance
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0786880708/102-7905838-0611335?v=glance&n=283155&n=507846&s=books&v=glance
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0385303122/102-7905838-0611335?v=glance&n=283155&n=507846&s=books&v=glance
It's funny. I practice a path that teaches us nothing other than "everything is impermanent", but when I'm faced with the actual reality of it, all of my teachings and readings and everything just fizzles away.
I'm not sure what to tell you, except that it can get better. For example, I decided to take responsibility for something simple: my own body. I've never been able to do this, and I am almost 30 years old. I am pretty badly overweight, and so I decided to use this as a focus for my change. I figure "start small" and if I can take control of this ONE thing, perhaps I can learn how to take control of other things. So in the last month and a half, I've lost over 20 pounds. The sense of control over myself that I have gained is very encouraging.
Another thing I've started is tonglen practice. You can read about that here. I've found that totally focusing on other people's suffering has helped me forget my own, even if its only for a short time.
Good luck, man. I understand what you're going through.
Getting all depressed all following your feelings too much will not do much good.Though reading your story have made me feel that there are others much worse of than me,I feel that I might face the situation as you,First of all,life does not suck.the fact that we are alive and well means that its good enough.We were born with two hands and two legs.
The fact that we sometimes say that"My life sucks.Why do I have these problems?" makes our problem worse.The view that our problems are unfair merely makes our problems far more worse.Maybe I am in no position to comment or give advice.
The point is,do not let other factors get in your way.Let nature takes its course.And always know there are people who realy care and are truely concern about you.
As for your religion,choose the path that your heart tells you to.Nobody can say you have made the right or wrong choice.Good luck.
"May your faith in yourself and your religion remain unwavering"
-Ar.Aid
Know that it does get better. I never thought middle and high school would end. I wanted to die, even called 911 once because I was scared that I might do something. My mom was no help. She was in denial and I realize now that she had her own problems that she is still in denial about. Plus there was the struggling with religions stuff, too. And hormones suck.
Now, though, things are definitely better. For one thing, the teenage hormones and brain changes are a thing of the past. Plus I'm out of my mom's house - which has made our relationship so much better. And I've met so many cool people in college - and they are all nerds just like me, but cool like me too in that "I love how weird you are because it makes you unique" way. And being older rocks because you've had time to get to know yourself and gain confidence. I still have lots of question about who I am and what this life/universe is all about, but I've also realized that I don't need the answers right now, if ever.
In the meantime, keep ranting. That's what teenages do - and I still do. It's a great way to let out some steam. Plus you can connect to others and realize you are definitely not alone. I guarantee you that most of the people around you your age are feeling like you do at least some of the time (it's a matter of degree sometimes). It wasn't till later that I found out just how many of my friends had been suicidal or cutters or something. We were all kind of caught up in our own stuff at the time, as well as being ashamed to admit how we were feeling. My mom didn't want me to tell anyone about my problems - especially about the 911 call. That alone made me feel like a freak. She made it seem like no one would want to be around me. Now I know that I wasn't alone. I wish I had known then, though.
NirvanaNoob:
I don't think that what I have read is the cliche ramblings of a teenager. I think that it is a plea for help and I wish I could advise you. But, I won't since I am not any sort of medical/mental doctor or therapist. I just want you to know that I suffer from manic-depression and I hate it! I have episodes of depression that are so bad at times that I, too, think about committing suicide.
Adiana:usflag: :wavey:
Perhaps the words of Ajahn Brahmavamso can give you some better advice than I. The following is a link to an MP3 file:
Tearing The Hinges Off The Door To Your Heart
Jason
Any hints?
I use Windows Media Player or I-Tunes.
Jason
Was this problem resolved?
now I've recently got up..... so I'll see what I can do 'n' get back to you.....
http://www.microsoft.com/windows/windowsmedia/mp10/default.aspx
It may also be worthwhile checking your IE and firewall settings.
Anyway,maybe its your firewall or antivirus system preventing download of this file.Like how msn prevent sending of files with.exe format.
Good Luck!
I have noticed, in some instances, that things don't operate exactly like they should because certain websites write their code for Internet Explorer - and it doesn't operate correctly in FireFox.
I use FireFox 98% of the time - but in some instances (like for work sites and some places where popups are called or things get downloaded) they don't work right in FireFox.
Try it in Intercrap Explorer and see if it works.
-bf
As we used to say back in the dim ages, Peace!
Palzang
A normal person would say "Wow, that was pretty rude of them," and move on. A depressed person might say "Wow, why did I try to talk to them? I should have known better," and turns the negativity of the experience on themselves instead of where it belongs.
I know from experience that there is a powerful and simple truth in that. The way you have a better experience is often to change how you think about what's happening to you. Easier said than done, of course.
Take care, NirvanaNoob.
Imagine a hoop, abou 1m in diameter, in the middle of the ocean, floating on the surface, somewhere, anywhere in the waters of this planet. Now imagine a baby turtle. Swimming in the ocean. It could be anywhere in the entire ocean. This turtle pokes it's head out of the water to look around. The place where the turtle poked it's head out was in the middle of that ring I mentioned earlier.
The chances of that happening, I was told, are the same chances of being reborn as a human.
Now think, can only humans attain Nirvana? I'm assuming yes. A dog (I presume) cannot understand Buddha's teachings - I cannot be sure, because I am not a dog, but for the sake of my point, let's say only humans can attain Nirvana.
If you commit suicide. You're throwing away what might be your only chance of attaining Nirvana. Going back to the turtle story, it is almost impossible that I am here typing this, and you are reading it. We are so lucky to be here. Why throw it away? Commit suicide, and not onlt are you abandoning Nirvana, giving up on that quest for enlightenment, you're giving up on yourself.
I hope that made sense and I didn't offend anyone in the process.
Anyway, I shall take that as a compliment! Thanks!
Palzang
Well, if only I paid as much attention in maths! My RE, English and sometimes Science (I have two science teachers, one is good, the other not so much) teachers have me hanging. But maths, no! But none of them are any match for this guy at the Centre. He's just one of them people you have to listen to - and respect.
And of course, if you enjoy learning, you will convert what you've learnt into other meanings. I hope I have forwarded the teaching to NirvanaNoob, I don't know as he is yet to reply...
(Sorry, we had a weekend retreat at the temple and I'm a little giddy today!)
Palzang
England English
Oooooh! And he's cheeky.
I like that.
I like that a lot.
You just got ZINGED, Palzang.
-bf
And what about Englebert Humperdinck?
What about Englebert Humperdinck? OY!!!!! Sometimes my mind goes where even I fear to tread!
Sorry for the limey, er, British jokes. It's been a long week. Feel free to make any American jokes you care to now...
Palzang
I figure, if I manage to survive this year, I'll be invincible :banghead:
On the fourth day of a sesshin at the San Francisco Zen Center when the participants were having these usual problems, Shunryu Suzuki Roshi came into the zendo and said, "The problems you are now experiencing will continue for the rest of your life."