Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
Im feeling very confused
Ive been deepening my meditation practice. I've been meditating alot more lately as well as doing a yoga practice and writing alot which helps me think better. Lately I've been feeling very down. I'm feeling very tired, irritated, sad and hopeless. I'm seeing the world as empty of joy because I'm finding that I cannot turn anywhere for true satisfaction. I know that this is a big part of the Buddhist teachings that all the happiness we search for outside of ourselves is not going to actually make us happy so I find myself searching for happiness and unable to find it. I'm feeling low so I keep thinking "what should I do to make me feel good?" I cant seem to find anything! I used to turn to food, sweets mostly, alcohol, movies etc. and now I know that there is no point of sitting around watching movies and eating cake all day. I definitely feel like that is the only thing I really want to do but I know it wont bring me happiness. I'm feeling very confused and trying to figure out how to work through this. Has anyone been through this sort of low point? If so, what is the best thing to do? Should I go ahead and give into the temptations? I venture to guess no. Should I just stay with these emotions no matter how long they take to pass? I appreciate the help! Many Blessings to all
0
Comments
I sort of know this kind of feeling, I think a lot of people do. It can be tearing you down and you can easily get in a negative spiral. But!!, don't be afraid! You've come to a good place to get out of it. Because of Buddhism I've been able to leave it behind me totally. And I think you can too. :clap:
It all has to do with the way you look at things. You are seeking for some sort of perfection in the physical word, maybe. Or perhaps you think you are a loser, someone not worth being happy. There can also be something else, but whatever it is, it will have to do with how you relate to things. But you can change the way you think about things and yourself, you know. On a side-note: It can be something physical if you feel really down for a very long time, in that case go see a specialist. But I'm guessing it's not.
To try to answer your question: "What should I do to make me feel good?". One of the things is letting go. In meditation, there will be moments where you don't do anything but focus and your mind will totally agree with that. Try to find those moments between thoughts and try to feel what you are feeling right then. It isn't sadness anymore, it's happiness and peace. This may sound easy, but sadly, it's not.
Also very important: The Buddha never said: don't enjoy the outside world. You can eate cake if you want it. Just enjoy it if you can. There is no problem in it and Buddhism doesn't have a problem with it at all. (if it isn't space cake that is :crazy: )
Though I haven't watched it, I also I recommend watching this video. I'm sure he points out the same thing I'm trying to say much more clearly and gives some more practical advice probably.
There are other great talks by Ajahn Brams on this and on related subjects. Those are also on youtube. If you can't find them send me a message. His talks are better then my post and I advice you to trust him and other Buddhist teachers more than me
Love,
Sabre
If you are meditating and finding it also not satisfactory, that is probably your body/mind resisting the discipline like a spoiled child. I have been there many times. Sometimes I thought to give in to the demands being made by my body: I would relax my meditation efforts, perhaps drink a bit to "let loose". But this just rewarded (and habituated) the bad behavior! It made it so much harder to resume the practice that I had temporarily abandoned or lessened.
And, yeah, the feelings should pass. Everything is up and down until liberation.
During these times I find it beneficial to spend time with nature. I go for walks in the forest, alone, or on the beach. Sometimes I just walk, other times I do walking meditation which focuses on awareness of the present moment. I like to write too, so I always carry a small notebook and pen around with me. Obviously it's not the same for everyone, but I personally find places like forests and quiet beaches can give me a little boost emotionally, a sense of peace, and sometimes renewed inspiration (hence the notebook and pen).
It's obvious but it's often easy to forget: "This too will pass." So I guess right now I'd bare that in mind, and accept the current state of things as temporary. I know from experience it can get really frustrating if you try too hard to find something to do to make you happy, or to feel you're doing something meaningful. And I think it's ok to have a peice of cake or to watch a movie from time to time.
Hmm. Perhaps I should now go and follow my own advice...
It is meditation itself which is designed to bring our mind satisfaction.
If we are dedicated to the path then we have to simply keep meditating.
We must patiently endure through these low feelings & any other disturbing emotions, including confusion.
To gain satisfaction from meditation, the Buddha said we must dissolve five disturbing hindrances, namely, sensual desire, ill-will, sloth & torpor, restlessness & remorse and doubt.
We must meditate until samadhi (calm concentration) is established, with the natural rhythms of the in breathing & out breathing as its object.
When calm concentration is established, our mind will be calm & taste some peace.
Calm concentration is then refined, further developed, until the mind dissolves all disturbances and pervasive bliss arises.
If we are dedicated to the path then we must trust the path & simply keep meditating.
The Buddha said: "Patient endurance burns up hindrances supremely; patient endurance is the supreme austerity".
Kind regards
DD
Yes, you're on the right path I promise you. Just take it easy. But if it's working against you, you're probably looking it with a wrong view. I recognize this and it can have multiple reasons. I don't know what it is in your case, but here is some advice I can come up with:
Enjoy your meditation! Don't make it a chore. Don't think: If I do this then I'll finally be happy. It doesn't work that way. You can't stive towards happiness, you can only get it from the present moment.
I sense some fear of being attached to things in your post. You don't have to be afraid of attachments and get yourself out of normal life, that's missing the point. That's not what it's about.
Please don't step out of the world. You can enjoy and do whatever you want. Meet people, take a diner or go outside, have a coke, jump around like crazy if you want to, do whatever. Just be mindful (meaning: watch what you are doing) and the chance of getting new attachments is zero. Also be wary of not getting attached to Buddhism itself. Almost happened to me
Relax, take it easy. Enjoy every moment you can also if the joy is coming from the outside world. And if you can't enjoy it but feel sad, that's also fine. A great opportunity to learn! Try to accept it. It'll go in time eventually. It's the natural cycle of happiness that all persons are experiencing during their life.
You'll be fine. Be mindful of frustration and depression. If you experience them, go and see if you can figure out where they come from and if you can get them to disappear by being relaxed and still in the moment. If you are confused about your feelings it is just because you are going too fast.
I'm 24 years and live on my own. I don't see my friends often. But I'm never ever lonely. In fact I'm happier then ever. You don't have to feel seperated from other people your age. Go out and do things if you want. You can apply the Buddhist teachings at every moment. Practice some loving kindness towards others. It'll make your connection with other people better! And doing loving kindness towards yourself is -I think- the best way to overcome loneliness. Because of it I love myself so much, I now want to marry myself.
Love,
Sabre
Verse 61. Do Not Associate With The Ignorant
Am I missing something here
You won't find your purpose sitting at home meditating. It's time to spend a few hours each week paying attention to other people. Remember, meditation is only one of eight steps in the 8-fold path. The first time I felt this way, I looked around and volunteered to help at a suicide prevention hotline service. For you, it's whatever you find when you look around and something will catch your eye. There's a huge shortage of volunteers for a growing need. Big Brother/Sister work. Local food kitchens. Services that help disabled people get to appointments.
Find your purpose in life. That's what all the meditating is for, you know. It clears your mind from the distractions keeping you from this.