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How do I know I am getting more skillful in dealing with Anger or other "poisons"?
Lostie
Veteran
Buddhist practices are skills and thus can be learned, and like in all learned skills, there should be a feedback channel to ascertain how skillful we are, u know, "tracking" our progress.
So how do I know I am getting more skillful in "dealing" with Anger eg.? The anger getting less intense each time? More questions arose from such anger fits? Maybe I should get a teacher to assess my progress? Or to each his own, ie, each of our definition of progress is unique due to differing life experiences?
Personally, I'd think that the anger gets less intense each time. What do you guys think? Thanks!
So how do I know I am getting more skillful in "dealing" with Anger eg.? The anger getting less intense each time? More questions arose from such anger fits? Maybe I should get a teacher to assess my progress? Or to each his own, ie, each of our definition of progress is unique due to differing life experiences?
Personally, I'd think that the anger gets less intense each time. What do you guys think? Thanks!
0
Comments
I think the progress is fairly obvious. I also think that perhaps it's not about the intensity or frequency, but how you treat it and what you do about it.
You notice you don't lose as much as you used to.
- you'll know what your anger "triggers" are
- you'll become more mindful when you see those triggers coming ("Warning! Danger!")
- you'll take steps to avoid the trigger or the anger that might follow it
- there will be a larger "gap" between the trigger and the anger response (or any response)
- in that "gap", you'll see glimpses of the building blocks of that particular anger.
- instead of anger being flipped on like a light switch, it will be more like a dial that is slowly turned up (if at all).
- you'll notice a willingness to try a different, hopefully better, response to the trigger, even while the trigger is happening.
- you'll feel some embarrassment and disappointment, rather than self-righteousness, for becoming angry.
- the anger will have fewer "echoes"
- you'll be more sensitive to the feeling of anger
- you'll be more sensitive to the icky feeling that anger leaves in its wake, and you'll have the desire to cleanse yourself of it
- you'll want to avoid anger even more.
- you'll look at the event in retrospect and see that things didn't go so bad as they had previously (at least mentally/emotionally).
- you're more willing to address the triggers in a productive and skillful way
- you'll see that some triggers are just a kind of misunderstanding
- you'll have the urge to practice/meditate more so that next time things will be even better
- you'll feel comfortable enough with anger that you can write an upbeat post about it on an online Buddhist forum!
When we have cultivated mindfulness this allows us to see the interaction between the elements of mind and mind-objects. In other words, we know when anger has arisen and its cause, and so with right understanding of causes can let it go. This is one way to know the effectiveness of our practice. Another is in the lessening of our level of anger and the cessation of its arising (or arising less often).
Namaste
When you realise that you get angry less often, then you will know that your practice has been helpful.
If at the point I notice anger arising, I just relax into it, placing my awareness with breathing, my mind becomes calm again. I rarely get angry for more than a few minutes at the very most these days. Study and practice has helped a lot, as well as talking to Buddhist teachers offline.
Lots of good wishes to you,
D